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No, this isn't a model writing this, so if you think of that as an ideal real woman, you might as well stop now.
I'm writing this because I want some feedback from people on something that's been on my mind lately.
As you may have noticed, I've been starting to warm up to the idea of the whole dating scene, whether or not I start in the next few weeks, or later on, kind of depends on some of the opinions I get from all of you.
I ask you to go to my profile and look at my picture really quickly, no its not a super great picture. Its taken a few days ago by my 13 year old son when we were all at the beach in Capitola.
We were having a great day! Playing in the sand and the sun. We'd been eaten alive by mosquito's the night before, and to be honest, I was still wearing what I wore the night before, all snuggled into a sleeping bag-with the mummy technique of mosquito evasion. Which works until you are really sound asleep and move the sleeping bag.
So, here's the deal, when I look at this picture I smile. I think to myself of the fun I had with my kids, and how important they are to me. I look at my messy hair and my dirty rumpled up clothes, and my lack of makeup, my imperfections as they are, and I think. Wow! What an awesome woman.
I think, if only the right person could overlook all the imperfections and see the spontaneous, fun, intelligent and capable woman on the other side of this picture...that would make the whole dating thing so much easier.
But, I know that in order to be in the 'running' with dating, I'm going to have to slather on some makeup, I'm going to have to wear some kind of flattering outfit that I might never really ever wear, and have some professional photographer do my picture...for what?
So, hundreds of guys can look at me and decide that I'm not pretty enough for them.
That just seems so incongruous to my life, I work full time in a very difficult physically demanding job, and I work mostly night shift. I just finished moving, mostly by myself, lifting heavy boxes, furniture and everything...I've then spent the weeks after putting things away and making my new place look really nice and I'm proud of that.
I'm proud that I got out my little black and decker smaller sized tool kit and put together my own stuff. That I can fix my own stuff, that I can do everything I need to do. I'm proud that I can carry my weight, and take care of us.
I don't think that translates well though, who in the world is going to be swept off their feet by that?
I mean, I am rambling on a bit.
The feedback I want then, is changes. How would you present this kind of package. Or should I just give up on the dating thing unless I learn how to be someone else?
You are who you are. Be that person and nobody else. If that's not good enough for someone that person is not good enough for you. If you are about to post a profile on a dating site, post the pics that you believe most capture who you are. That is a challenge because what can you really learn about someone from a still photo? Do it that way anyway because you are most honest with others when you are most honest with yourself.
Good luck to you as you wrestle with deciding what is right for you.
I'd date you if I were a guy. You look great (albeit the picture is a little dark, hard to see you) and you're a sweetheart. You don't need to wear any makeup.
i didnt see any imperfections. all i saw was a vision of beauty who deserves the right man to care for her.
Well, that's really sweet. I have doubts about the vision of beauty. But, hey, I wouldn't insult a perfectly nice compliment would I?
As for being cared for, I would rather it was thought of as more of a business partnership, where we are in the business of taking care of each other, and of taking care of our lives. I don't think that sounds very romantic though. Hmmm.
I'd date you if I were a guy. You look great (albeit the picture is a little dark, hard to see you) and you're a sweetheart. You don't need to wear any makeup.
I'd date you too! You are awesome! But, uh, before we make everyone jealous!
Thank you for saying that!
I know, I know! We were camping in Soquel. Where the mosquito bites don't itch at first, apparently they itch a few days later. Now we all look like we have really bad acne!
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