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If he is not a dog lover and you are, forget about it. I don't think it is gong to work. Once he is move in, he will want you to get rid of your dogs. You will always be a dog lover, don't let him make you change how you and your dogs live. My dogs are like my family.
I should clarify that he never asked me to give up any of my dogs. In fact, he told me NOT to for his sake. It's something I have been thinking about and needing to do for awhile, because really, two is enough to keep up with. With him not really liking dogs, it seemed like the timing is right.
In your original post you wrote you are a huge dog lover. There is no way a "huge dog lover" will get rid of his/her dogs for anyone. I can't believe you are giving up your dogs for this guy!!!
I have two dogs and when I come home from work, I have a hand to pet each of my dogs when they come running up to me.
I finally met someone to whom I am very attracted; we've been dating for four months. It's a much better fit for me than any of the other guys I've dated in the past year since my separation/divorce. He's much more vocal than anyone I've ever been with as far as his likes/dislikes. I have changed several things about my appearance (small things) and lifestyle for him.
The small things I've done include enhancing my eye makeup, wearing certain color underclothing, certain types of clothing (dressier) etc. One of the biggest things concerns my dogs. I am a HUGE dog lover, and animal lover in general. He is not. My dogs get on his nerves (they are all small dogs). He doesn't want to hear them bark, doesn't like them on the furniture/bed, and it bothers him that they follow me around the house. He doesn't even like the dog pictures that are in my bedroom. I am changing them out today.
In order to make it work with him, which I very much want to do, I rehomed one rescue I had, and am probably going to rehome another dog I have. I'll then have only two dogs (which is more manageable, I admit). Then I am going to hire a trainer to help me with the barking issues and guide me in the best way to transition getting them off of the funiture/bed.
I do consider this a compromise for us, because I am giving up things and changing things, and he is willing to adjust to living with dogs in the house. This is a HUGE lifestyle change for me, and not one that I would do for just anyone. I would probably tell anyone else to take a hike. But I have such a connection with him physically and emotionally, that I really do want it to last.
My question is, how much should a person change who they are in order to please their significant other? I know that successful relationships include a lot of give and take. But I don't want to "lose myself" and who I am. At what point is going too far in trying to change the person you are involved with?
The guy is a DIYUCK in my book for sharing all that negativity with you. The only one I could see is the dressing nicer, because I tend to dress nicer if my partner thinks I look good in something. Everything else, he's truly being a butt about.
OP, are you doing this, because you desperately want someone to be around you post divorce? This guy's focus isn't you, but him. He's going to continue to break you down and never build you back up. Next it will be I want to sleep with this woman in our bed, because the color bra you wore this morning wasn't a color I approved of. After 4 months, you're making a decision about your dogs to where I'd tell a woman to kick rocks if she asked me the same thing. It sounds like your self confidence is lacking and you're doing what you can to feel good about yourself.
In your original post you wrote you are a huge dog lover. There is no way a "huge dog lover" will get rid of his/her dogs for anyone.
Exactly, barring something extreme like a child's medical condition or something. You are definitely not a dog lover if a boyfriend of four months who exhibits controlling behavior is your pick over your dogs.
I finally met someone to whom I am very attracted; we've been dating for four months. It's a much better fit for me than any of the other guys I've dated in the past year since my separation/divorce. He's much more vocal than anyone I've ever been with as far as his likes/dislikes. I have changed several things about my appearance (small things) and lifestyle for him.
The small things I've done include enhancing my eye makeup, wearing certain color underclothing, certain types of clothing (dressier) etc. One of the biggest things concerns my dogs. I am a HUGE dog lover, and animal lover in general. He is not. My dogs get on his nerves (they are all small dogs). He doesn't want to hear them bark, doesn't like them on the furniture/bed, and it bothers him that they follow me around the house. He doesn't even like the dog pictures that are in my bedroom. I am changing them out today.
In order to make it work with him, which I very much want to do, I rehomed one rescue I had, and am probably going to rehome another dog I have. I'll then have only two dogs (which is more manageable, I admit). Then I am going to hire a trainer to help me with the barking issues and guide me in the best way to transition getting them off of the funiture/bed.
I do consider this a compromise for us, because I am giving up things and changing things, and he is willing to adjust to living with dogs in the house. This is a HUGE lifestyle change for me, and not one that I would do for just anyone. I would probably tell anyone else to take a hike. But I have such a connection with him physically and emotionally, that I really do want it to last.
My question is, how much should a person change who they are in order to please their significant other? I know that successful relationships include a lot of give and take. But I don't want to "lose myself" and who I am. At what point is going too far in trying to change the person you are involved with?
No. Just....no.
OP, this isn't going to work. You are being controlled.
Have you dealt with your divorce and all the emotions that go along with it? If not, you aren't fit to date anyone.
I finally met someone to whom I am very attracted; we've been dating for four months. It's a much better fit for me than any of the other guys I've dated in the past year since my separation/divorce. He's much more vocal than anyone I've ever been with as far as his likes/dislikes. I have changed several things about my appearance (small things) and lifestyle for him.
The small things I've done include enhancing my eye makeup, wearing certain color underclothing, certain types of clothing (dressier) etc. One of the biggest things concerns my dogs. I am a HUGE dog lover, and animal lover in general. He is not. My dogs get on his nerves (they are all small dogs). He doesn't want to hear them bark, doesn't like them on the furniture/bed, and it bothers him that they follow me around the house. He doesn't even like the dog pictures that are in my bedroom. I am changing them out today.
In order to make it work with him, which I very much want to do, I rehomed one rescue I had, and am probably going to rehome another dog I have. I'll then have only two dogs (which is more manageable, I admit). Then I am going to hire a trainer to help me with the barking issues and guide me in the best way to transition getting them off of the funiture/bed.
I do consider this a compromise for us, because I am giving up things and changing things, and he is willing to adjust to living with dogs in the house. This is a HUGE lifestyle change for me, and not one that I would do for just anyone. I would probably tell anyone else to take a hike. But I have such a connection with him physically and emotionally, that I really do want it to last.
My question is, how much should a person change who they are in order to please their significant other? I know that successful relationships include a lot of give and take. But I don't want to "lose myself" and who I am. At what point is going too far in trying to change the person you are involved with?
Oh, HELL no!!!
What in God's name is wrong with you??
You gave up your furry family and changed your appearance for a man you've known for 4 months?
What major sacrifices has he made for YOU?
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