Has anyone ever successfully downgraded a serious partner to a FWB?

[snugglegirl05]

Nope

Would not do it.

[Ferredoxin4]

Originally Posted by meaning

Lesbians?

Yes, I've told her that I was in lesbians with her LOL

[Ferredoxin4]

Originally Posted by Frayzer

So you're exclusive or just dating..? If you're not exclusive you both can do whatever with whoever you want.

We've made a declaration of commitment with eachother, but that was before I informed her of my life plan to one day move out of this state, and before she got accepted to a fairly far-away grad school. She's acknowledged before that it's going to be hard to see each other as frequently as we do when she starts school, but she didn't bring up what exactly that means for our relationship. I was hoping that she was implying that she understood that that would most likely mean a gradual dissolution of our serious relationship, but without asking her, I can't be sure.

You suggested no contact for month. Should there be a gradual shift in our dating frequency (meeting up less often, talking on the phone less, etc) up to that point?

[redguard57]

There's also just the simple fact that as attracted I am to her and despite all the good times we've had together, much of the excitement of our relationship has faded away

This happens no matter what. That's why personality is important because no matter how hot someone is, you get used to them.

Has anyone ever successfully turned a serious partner into an FWB? Is this something you sit down and seriously talk about pursuing?

No. Every time I tried to downgrade something like this, it did not work. There would be a "break-up" that would be emotional and result in cessation of contact.

Even if they accept the "serious talk" women interpret it differently. They hear you say "this isn't practical," but at the end of the day she's the one you're sleeping with, so she'll hold on to that & de-emphasize your little talk. Actions speak louder than words. She'll still think of you as "her guy." If you don't behave as her guy, you'll have a nasty fight, I guarantee it.

If you don't want to do long-distance commitment, break up with her now. It sounds to me like your careers are the 1st priority for both of you, relationships distant second. My experience is that for two careerist people to be together, one of them has to relax the career-driven attitude. Not completely give it up, but definitely downgrade its importance significantly. I'm very career-driven, and this is what I've discovered. Eventually you do have to choose your job or your family life. In order to have a good relationship sacrifices have to be made - you either have to settle for less career achievement or settle for a partner who's not quite everything you imagined.