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Old 07-30-2014, 08:46 PM
 
Location: WA
1,448 posts, read 1,931,511 times
Reputation: 1516

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Quote:
Originally Posted by usewithm0der4tion View Post
The only problem with this statement is the fact that it's highly unlikely that a woman is going to inflict the type of damage a guy can inflict on her. Any man, no matter what size he is, poses a major threat to a woman. Everything about a male, his voice, his size, his strength makes him a larger threat than any woman could be. Most women are going to need a weapon to seriously hurt a man, whereas a woman can be seriously hurt by an unarmed male. If a woman hits you, then call the cops. If you hit her back, you will go to jail, along with her. This isn't the same as when a two strangers beat each other, it's totally different, so the same rules do not apply.

Most women do not go around with an attitude that they deserve to slap guys around. Those that do, are probably victims themselves and have some mental illness.
Please consider that, statistically speaking, when males find themselves on the receiving end of domestic violence, it's very unlikely that they'll report it to the authorities, regardless of whether or not they react physically in self-defense.

There are many reasons for this, not least of which may include mandatory arrest policies and overtly biased "pre-dominant aggressor" criteria that increase the likelihood of a man being singled out as the aggressor rather than the victim.

Yes, it's easy to assume that a man can generally cause much greater physical harm to a woman than vice-versa, but how conclusive can we be when female-on-male domestic violence is known to be one of the most under-reported crimes there is?
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Old 07-30-2014, 08:55 PM
 
283 posts, read 348,857 times
Reputation: 321
men won't report women for domestic violence bc they know the woman will most likely say the man hit them and then the man is screwed.

i'm not saying all women are liars, but the type crazy enough to hit someone bigger and strong then them would happily lie to get the guy thrown in jail.
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Old 07-30-2014, 09:17 PM
 
Location: WA
1,448 posts, read 1,931,511 times
Reputation: 1516
Quote:
Originally Posted by usewithm0der4tion View Post
Unless a person is mentally ill, people just don't get mad for no reason. Anger is a reaction people get from feelings. Nobody is angry, you aren't born angry, you don't wake up angry etc...What happens is that you didn't get sleep because you were kept up all night, so you are resentful of your kids/wife/friend, which makes you angry.

A person has been taking crap from her partner for weeks now, they are at a club, and he does something that "breaks the camel's back" it could be a sneer, or some words, but now all her feelings of disrespect, fear that the relationship is falling apart, sets her off, .....so when you say a woman threw a drink in your face, slapped you, punched you, she didn't do it without being provoked. Until you realize that anger is caused, and isn't just there, the sooner you will be able to avoid those volatile situations.
How did I overlook this one?

Men may legitimately provoke domestic violence from women not by physically instigating them, but by failing to put cupcake on a pedestal high enough to satisfy her emotional needs (as determined by her personality disorder, I'd wager).

Anger can culminate in physical violence so long as we're dealing with an angry woman throwing her hands or fists at a male partner--he made her angry, and he could've avoided assault by not having made her to feel so angry and neglected! It's all so simple!

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Old 07-30-2014, 09:32 PM
 
1,201 posts, read 1,575,654 times
Reputation: 1116
We are dealing with a similar situation at our local college that hasn't gone national yet, because charges haven't been filed. I do believe that women shouldn't provoke violence from anyone (especially males), but I guess I was raised that you don't punch a woman unless she has a weapon or is about to hurt your kid or something. I've had women slap me and try to choke me and my response in every situation was to restrain her, but not punch her. That might not be possible for some men, but Ray Rice is definitely capable.
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Old 07-30-2014, 09:34 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
Reputation: 22275
While I believe that violence is never okay, I don't believe that just because someone was provoked it makes it okay to punch their lights out or send them to the hospital. If someone slaps me, I'm not going to beat them within an inch of their life.
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Old 07-30-2014, 09:34 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,006 posts, read 52,457,444 times
Reputation: 52519
I've been following/hearing about this the last few days and I think people sort of missed the boat/point about what he was trying to say.

Of course violence isn't acceptable, that's just so obvious to anyone with a brain in their heads, men or women, no one should be smacking anyone around.

In an ideal world if you're around someone that starts to lose it and starts to get physical, you do the best you can to walk away, even if provoked, last case scenario is to defend yourself, man or woman.

As the OP stated people hear/read what they want to hear, I believe people got all upset about his choice of wording using the word "provoke", I think what he was trying to say is that some women know how to push a man's buttons. I also think he was probably also trying to say was that try to do whatever you can to not further escalate anything.

Chris Rock has a whole bit about it and it was the first thing I thought when I heard this story.

Do some men abuse women without any provocation, of course, I'm not saying that doesn't happen, and when that does the woman should do whatever it takes to get out of that situation, there are a lot of shelters and other organization out there to help battered women.

Last edited by Chowhound; 07-30-2014 at 10:00 PM..
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Old 07-31-2014, 04:44 AM
 
785 posts, read 951,044 times
Reputation: 512
IF you look at some studies, you will see that women are the primary aggressors in domestic violence, although men cause more damage.
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Old 07-31-2014, 11:00 AM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,216 posts, read 8,285,041 times
Reputation: 8628
Quote:
Originally Posted by nylonggamer View Post
men won't report women for domestic violence bc they know the woman will most likely say the man hit them and then the man is screwed.

i'm not saying all women are liars, but the type crazy enough to hit someone bigger and strong then them would happily lie to get the guy thrown in jail.
The second a woman hits me, I'm going to the authorities. I don't play that.
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Old 08-03-2014, 08:20 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,517,749 times
Reputation: 9174
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
I agree fully with what Smith AND Goldberg said on the subject. There are too many women walking around that think they should be able to slap around a man or even taunt him endlessly without fear of physical repercussion.
That makes them abusive. Again, that really doesn't apply to real cases of domestic/relationship violence where there is an actual victim. So, it doesn't apply.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Montguy View Post
The fact is that, as published in several studies over the last three decades if I remember correctly, the most common determinant for women to receive domestic violence is their own initiation of it.
I would love to see those studies.

Quote:
If we're at a point where people are so hyper-sensitive about this issue that the words 'provoke' and 'initiate' can't even be used synonymously, then no fair and rational discussion pertaining to domestic violence and its virtually equal symmetry between genders can ever be approached.
As evidenced by this thread alone, "provoked" can mean it actually IS the victim's fault. Fact is we live in a society that has become more and more desensitized to and tolerant of unacceptable behavior. People feel entitled to abuse.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nylonggamer View Post
men won't report women for domestic violence bc they know the woman will most likely say the man hit them and then the man is screwed.
Actually, many don't report because of traditional gender roles and the fear of being ridiculed by friends, family and the police. Though what you describe is has also happened.

Quote:
Originally Posted by beaste View Post
IF you look at some studies, you will see that women are the primary aggressors in domestic violence, although men cause more damage.
Again, where are these studies?
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Old 08-04-2014, 08:30 PM
 
877 posts, read 1,313,394 times
Reputation: 1156
There are many instances where a woman wants to act like a man, hit her bf/husband and if he reacts, she's all of a sudden this victim. It isn't ok for him to react, but for her to beat/slap/punch him is obviously acceptable.

People should just keep their hands to themselves. If you can't have a civil discussion, then remove yourself from the environment and seek help and deal with whatever anger issues you have.
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