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I decided to up my game and be more assertive on OkCupid. I have a profile that I recently put back up because I moved to a new area. I re-worked my profile to make it clear, concise, interesting, and not 10 paragraphs long.
In the last 48 hours I have messaged 5 men with simple messages, but showing I have read their profile and mentioning things I like and/or areas we have in common and asked open ended questions. All of them are 80%+ matches with me, and no, I'm not reaching above my "level."
Of course, none of them have messaged me back, even though 4/5 have been online in the last 24 hours. Not even a "Thanks, not interested." For the record, I respond to every message I get except for the obnoxious "DTF?" ones. I sent messages to 2 other men this month, and neither of them responded either.
So I'm just posting this to point that when guys complain that women never contact, please keep in mind that some of us do and we get the same silence that you get, even when we send nice messages.
Oh well, back the drawing board!
I'll get flamed for saying it, but from my experience with online dating, women tend to reach more than men when it comes to physical attractiveness, due to the amount of undeserved attention they receive online. A lot of guys message women far below their standards thinking it's a sure way to get laid. I've done this myself, and it's worked. The problem with this is that the less than attractive women that men will message seem to think that this is their league, and as a result, they start to reject the men that would actually date them. It's a vicious cycle that leads to people being on these sites for years without ever meeting anyone.
I feel that us guys seal our own fates with this behavior, as what comes around goes around. For every overweight woman that I've messaged or had a few late night romps with, there is some tall rich stud, that's doing the same thing to the girl next door types that are the type of girls that I would date in real life. Basically for every slightly better than average looking guy like myself that screws over the slightly below average looking guys, there are really good looking guys that screw over guys like myself by preying on women below their standards.
At the end of the day, my best advice is to avoid free online dating sites. If it doesn't work for you in the first 6 months, it will most likely never work for you.
Any guy that's actually serious about meeting someone for a LTR, is willing to pay for a match.com or E-harmony account IMO
Sorry, I know very few guys that have much difficulty getting responses or dates. If they did, they wouldn't be on there.
Last couple of times I did OLD I didn't really write anyone, I just responded to people that wrote me, I still had or could have had a date a week. I'm a below average earning (for my area, the vast majority of women I meet and date earn more), very average (if that) looking, bald guy, that doesn't own a car.
Sorry, it isn't the women that are the problem.
A few good decades you mean.
I call bullsh*t. Lol. How many many guys on here say it didn't work for them as apposed to how many said it did? Sorry guy, but I think you might be a little out numbered. Oh wait I know what you're gonna say, all of us are the problem. Did you know 90% of men don't have any success online? Did you know the women on OKcupid find 80% of men unattractive? If I had a nickel for every girl who had a profile up with no intention of actually meeting someone, just on there looking for attention, I'd have my light bill paid in full. I date nice looking girls that I meet in person. Online most women I get that actually wanna meet are BBWs. Does that sound like a broken record?
I'll tell you what, rather than reply on here with blah blah blah, PM me. We can exchange emails and I can prove everything I said. Otherwise you're not credible.
Any guy that's actually serious about meeting someone for a LTR, is willing to pay for a match.com or E-harmony account IMO
Pay sites are obviously going to weed out the unserious from the serious, but they have the same problems that free sites have. Because people can so easily check off their preferences, they basically go "shopping" for their perfect match and tend to subconsciously or consciously exclude people who aren't perfect. (As in where people put in a height requirement, for example.)
I'll get flamed for saying it, but from my experience with online dating, women tend to reach more than men when it comes to physical attractiveness, due to the amount of undeserved attention they receive online. A lot of guys message women far below their standards thinking it's a sure way to get laid. I've done this myself, and it's worked. The problem with this is that the less than attractive women that men will message seem to think that this is their league, and as a result, they start to reject the men that would actually date them. It's a vicious cycle that leads to people being on these sites for years without ever meeting anyone.
I feel that us guys seal our own fates with this behavior, as what comes around goes around. For every overweight woman that I've messaged or had a few late night romps with, there is some tall rich stud, that's doing the same thing to the girl next door types that are the type of girls that I would date in real life. Basically for every slightly better than average looking guy like myself that screws over the slightly below average looking guys, there are really good looking guys that screw over guys like myself by preying on women below their standards.
At the end of the day, my best advice is to avoid free online dating sites. If it doesn't work for you in the first 6 months, it will most likely never work for you.
Any guy that's actually serious about meeting someone for a LTR, is willing to pay for a match.com or E-harmony account IMO
I'll get flamed for saying it, but from my experience with online dating, women tend to reach more than men when it comes to physical attractiveness, due to the amount of undeserved attention they receive online. A lot of guys message women far below their standards thinking it's a sure way to get laid. I've done this myself, and it's worked. The problem with this is that the less than attractive women that men will message seem to think that this is their league, and as a result, they start to reject the men that would actually date them. It's a vicious cycle that leads to people being on these sites for years without ever meeting anyone.
I feel that us guys seal our own fates with this behavior, as what comes around goes around. For every overweight woman that I've messaged or had a few late night romps with, there is some tall rich stud, that's doing the same thing to the girl next door types that are the type of girls that I would date in real life. Basically for every slightly better than average looking guy like myself that screws over the slightly below average looking guys, there are really good looking guys that screw over guys like myself by preying on women below their standards.
At the end of the day, my best advice is to avoid free online dating sites. If it doesn't work for you in the first 6 months, it will most likely never work for you.
Any guy that's actually serious about meeting someone for a LTR, is willing to pay for a match.com or E-harmony account IMO
This may be somewhat true, but I don't feel like most of the guys I've met from OLD have been that good looking, so I'd hope they were in my league... Either way, I'm not wiling to go any uglier.
Pay sites are obviously going to weed out the unserious from the serious, but they have the same problems that free sites have. Because people can so easily check off their preferences, they basically go "shopping" for their perfect match and tend to subconsciously or consciously exclude people who aren't perfect. (As in where people put in a height requirement, for example.)
Once someone recommended match which is a pay site. I thought it would weed out the attention junkies, so I made an account just to have a quick look of what's on there. I swear on my son's grave, right on the first couple of pages were 5 of the same women from OKcupid. lol They put their pics up, but I doubt they paid to use the site. Think about it, why would they need to pay when the other one is free?
Once someone recommended match which is a pay site. I thought it would weed out the attention junkies, so I made an account just to have a quick look of what's on there. I swear on my son's grave, right on the first couple of pages were 5 of the same women from OKcupid. lol They put their pics up, but I doubt they paid to use the site. Think about it, why would they need to pay when the other one is free?
I've used free sites and pay sites simultaneously.
Once someone recommended match which is a pay site. I thought it would weed out the attention junkies, so I made an account just to have a quick look of what's on there. I swear on my son's grave, right on the first couple of pages were 5 of the same women from OKcupid. lol They put their pics up, but I doubt they paid to use the site. Think about it, why would they need to pay when the other one is free?
Well, no. A lot of people use a variety of sites (both paid and free) because they all hit different populations. For example, POF has a reputation (deserved or not) for just being a hookup type site for younger people. Match is like a "higher class" of people, if you will. I don't mean "aristocrats" but people who are looking for more serious relationships. eHarmony, from what I hear, is supposed to be slightly more "serious" than Match because you have to fill out their lengthy questionnaire. I've talked to some people who say that it's the "highest class" dating website, which their commercials on TV imply is true.
I've used all of them, too, for the same reason. I've lived in areas where the population is low, so you basically try to maximize who you're reaching. Basically, it's the same as not just using radio ads, but also TV ads and print ads. Radio will hit the older crowd, TV will hit the younger crowd.
Well, no. A lot of people use a variety of sites (both paid and free) because they all hit different populations. For example, POF has a reputation (deserved or not) for just being a hookup type site for younger people. Match is like a "higher class" of people, if you will. I don't mean "aristocrats" but people who are looking for more serious relationships. eHarmony, from what I hear, is supposed to be slightly more "serious" than Match because you have to fill out their lengthy questionnaire. I've talked to some people who say that it's the "highest class" dating website, which their commercials on TV imply is true.
I've used all of them, too, for the same reason. I've lived in areas where the population is low, so you basically try to maximize who you're reaching. Basically, it's the same as not just using radio ads, but also TV ads and print ads. Radio will hit the older crowd, TV will hit the younger crowd.
Okay that's understandable, but never the less, it had a lot of the same girls who have been on there for a while. This was a couple of months after I left OKcupid.
Pay sites are obviously going to weed out the unserious from the serious, but they have the same problems that free sites have. Because people can so easily check off their preferences, they basically go "shopping" for their perfect match and tend to subconsciously or consciously exclude people who aren't perfect. (As in where people put in a height requirement, for example.)
I've done both. I've only met one LTR online, and it was on match.com. I would only message women that I was actually interested in dating when I was on Match. This meant that they had to be at least average looking and educated. I would never pay money to meet a booty call. I could go on plenty of fish and have a BBW at my house tonight if I wanted. This is why a lot of bigger women will message guys way out of their league on free dating sites. They know that a lot of these guys will give them play. I have a buddy that's currently hooking up with a girl he met on POF. He's over 6ft and built like a pro athlete, yet the woman he's currently sleeping with is easily over 200lbs. To his defense she's actually pretty cute in the face and nicely shaped for a woman her size; however, he's only keeping her around until someone date-worthy shows up. The problem with this is that now this girl is going to reject any decent guy that is willing to date her, due to having her ego blown up from knocking boots with a good looking successful guy for a few months.
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