Since we're all complaining about online dating... (profile, attract, settle)
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The solution is simple. Write the men you want to write and don't be a passive user. Most of the women I went out with on OLD were women that wrote me first.
To be fair, if you're getting tons of messages you're not going to be so inclined to be proactive.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dig In
To be fair, if you're getting tons of messages you're not going to be so inclined to be proactive.
But you're only getting those message by practicing deception. What is better, to be honest and be proactive and message who you want? Or to deceive and be reactive?
But you're only getting those message by practicing deception. What is better, to be honest and be proactive and message who you want? Or to deceive and be reactive?
You don't have to deceive to get messages. But if you're someone who's regularly getting attention, why would you feel the need to go out of your way to initiate?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dig In
You don't have to deceive to get messages. But if you're someone who's regularly getting attention, why would you feel the need to go out of your way to initiate?
Well the lying about your age thread was about deception.
But the answer to your question is very simple.
If the people contacting you aren't the people you want to date, then it makes sense to reach out and contact the ones you do want to date.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dig In
It does make sense, but if that's the case then why do most women still choose the passive route?
Well, I'm not sure they do, when I did OLD I had women message me weekly, and my female friends message men.
But if they aren't, I can only assume they are getting messages from the guys they want to date or dating isn't a big deal to them and they're just casually on there.
I was getting tons of messages but would also contact men I desired. The reason is most of the men who contacted me were bottom feeders and I wanted and knew I deserved better. Some were afraid I'd reject them so they didn't contact.
It does make sense, but if that's the case then why do most women still choose the passive route?
Did you even read the OP, the one I posted? I DID message many men, and got virtually no responses. That was the whole point of this thread. So even women who are choosing to be proactive are losing out. OLD is lose-lose -damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Did you even read the OP, the one I posted? I DID message many men, and got virtually no responses. That was the whole point of this thread. So even women who are choosing to be proactive are losing out. OLD is lose-lose -damned if you do, damned if you don't.
They like to ignore that fact. Many women here have messaged men and had the same response the men did. I messaged several guys and most said no thanks.
Did you even read the OP, the one I posted? I DID message many men, and got virtually no responses. That was the whole point of this thread. So even women who are choosing to be proactive are losing out. OLD is lose-lose -damned if you do, damned if you don't.
First of all, drop the attitude. Second, you said you messages five guys in 48 hours. So no, you didn't message a lot of guys. That's not enough.
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