Paying for dates when there is a significant income differential (girl, call)
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I don't know them well, but they aren't a stranger. I'm certainly not worried about buying someone I barely know a drink or three like you are. I like it, actually.
With regards to OLD, I do not care for it. I don't like dating around in general (especially not with a ton of different women), but I know that's the necessary evil to establishing a meaningful romantic relationship.
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Originally Posted by timberline742
Maybe not on the regular, but drinks get purchased for me and by me at least once a month, but I don't go out much anymore.
Once a month. Cheaper and much different than several times a week with OLD. It's a numbers game. Remember?
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Originally Posted by timberline742
Seems like you just must live in a pretty lousy area where people are pretty lame. You could change that.
I don't know. Typically, Denver is described as a laid back place with laid back, kind people. I've just not met the right ones (thus far) as far as dating goes. But there are a couple prospects at this moment.
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Originally Posted by timberline742
What promiscuous desires does a friend have when they ask me if I want to go to a game? Or what promiscuous desires do I have when I buy a round of shots when I'm out on a Saturday night talking to a couple of guys?
This is not relevant to dating though. You brought that up. The topic being discussed is dating. I've addressed what I take issue with. If that was not clear to you, let me know and I'll explain it again.
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Originally Posted by timberline742
Not everyone thinks like you, fortunately. You really do think everyone has an ulterior motive.
Not necessarily an ulterior motive (though some do), but a sense of entitlement. I have a problem with that. If I recall from some of the W&E discussions you and I were part of, you do, too.
Sure there would. Supply and demand. If no one is asking the women out they will have to take the initiative.
Not as attractive as it seems being in that position is it.
Some of you fellas, you complain about men having to do the initiating (thus paying). Feeling that its wrong because women want to be treated as human beings with the same rights and opportunities as men so of course women should take on the roles of men. But then they complain about taking the role women have held forever. If you want women to be the predators you must be the prey.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
With regards to OLD, I do not care for it. I don't like dating around in general (especially not with a ton of different women), but I know that's the necessary evil to establishing a meaningful romantic relationship.
Once a month. Cheaper and much different than several times a week with OLD. It's a numbers game. Remember?
I don't know. Typically, Denver is described as a laid back place with laid back, kind people. I've just not met the right ones (thus far) as far as dating goes. But there are a couple prospects at this moment.
This is not relevant to dating though. You brought that up. The topic being discussed is dating. I've addressed what I take issue with. If that was not clear to you, let me know and I'll explain it again.
Not necessarily an ulterior motive (though some do), but a sense of entitlement. I have a problem with that. If I recall from some of the W&E discussions you and I were part of, you do, too.
Dating is not a numbers game. OLD definitely is not a numbers game. I found lots of great people OLD and wrote people maybe once a week.
I haven't run into people with a sense of entitlement much, OLD or otherwise. Most people I meet are actually rather generous. We're just meeting different people.
Dating isn't any different really from any other social interactions, so other social interactions are relevant. I'm not sure how you approach dating, but going out with a potential romantic interest really isn't different than hanging out with a friend or potential friend. It's going out and having a good time, and everything else either happens or it doesn't. Treating or talking to a cute lady isn't really any different from going and hanging out with a coworker. People are people. We're (hopefully) the same person when we interact with either.
So if a woman agrees that women should stay home and raise the kids, does it then become acceptable for her to want men to pay for dates and give women financial support?
Sure, as long as it's not a choice. Like, if it's just her role and that's how it is, then absolutely. If you mean "what if she has several choices and that's the one she chose?" then no.
Dating is not a numbers game. OLD definitely is not a numbers game. I found lots of great people OLD and wrote people maybe once a week.
It's not? That's news to me. If you found many great matches, why aren't you married yet? Preference? I get that some people meet "the one" at first try, but for the rest of us, it has not been that easy.
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Originally Posted by timberline742
I haven't run into people with a sense of entitlement much, OLD or otherwise. Most people I meet are actually rather generous. We're just meeting different people.
In reality, yes. I have mostly met cool, generous ladies. Everything blew up on here because of what a few people stated regarding what they are entitled to because of their lady parts. All I said is that I don't agree with that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Dating isn't any different really from any other social interactions, so other social interactions are relevant. I'm not sure how you approach dating, but going out with a potential romantic interest really isn't different than hanging out with a friend or potential friend. It's going out and having a good time, and everything else either happens or it doesn't. Treating or talking to a cute lady isn't really any different from going and hanging out with a coworker. People are people. We're (hopefully) the same person when we interact with either.
But it's not expected, as has been stated here a number of times, that I pay for my potential friend's stuff when I first meet them. That's the only thing I take issue with. The expectation, or the entitlement. If I like you, I will buy you things. Just don't expect that I must pay for everything for you, or else you're turned off or walking. I don't like a mooch as much as the next person.
WTF? This is such a strange question...hard to even reply seriously!
#571: When you don't agree with someone, screw making a logical counter-argument. Who needs that? Make the person seem like an idiot instead by using a smoke-and-mirrors tactic that portrays something they said as idiotic or absurd.
Sure, as long as it's not a choice. Like, if it's just her role and that's how it is, then absolutely. If you mean "what if she has several choices and that's the one she chose?" then no.
You mean it's bad if women choose to be stay at home moms if they have the choice of working and paying for daycare? If I had children, I'd absolutely want to be home with them if it were financially possible. I don't even like leaving my cat at home all day while I'm at work. But work is a necessary evil for some. It's not a place where I would choose to be over raising my children.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
It's not? That's news to me. If you found many great matches, why aren't you married yet? Preference? I get that some people meet "the one" at first try, but for the rest of us, it has not been that easy.
No, it is not. Why would I be married? You make it sound like that should be the goal of dating. If I get married, I get married (I was engaged once, we called it off, we learned it wouldn't work), but I don't date with an agenda other than to spend time getting to know awesome people. Most of my greatest friends of 10, 15, 20+ years are people I dated.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
But it's not expected, as has been stated here a number of times, that I pay for my potential friend's stuff when I first meet them. That's the only thing I take issue with. The expectation, or the entitlement. If I like you, I will buy you things. Just don't expect that I must pay for everything for you. I don't like a mooch as much as the next person.
See, I don't agree with that, really. If I ask a person out, I expect to pay. If I ask a potential friend to go see a band or see a ball game, I expect to pay. I'm asking.
When I do that one a date it comes back around, when I do that with friends or potential friends, it comes back around. Little difference, really.
^^^this. Whoever plans and initiates the date pays. If you want to go to more expensive places then you suggest it and you pay. If he is planning the date he should go where he can afford. Seems pretty simple.
Yep. I've planned and made suggestions for dates, and had no problem paying.
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Originally Posted by 14Bricks
Wow, is that a woman's way of saying I refuse to pay for a date at a expensive restaurant?
Er, no.
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Originally Posted by charolastra00
It's this woman's way of saying 1) I prefer that food and 2) I can't afford an expensive restaurant more than once or twice a year. I don't refuse to pay what I can afford and for me, a good quality torta and dinner in the park is a better experience than a $50 meal with fine wine in the North End.
It's smart for anyone, man or woman, to stay within their budget. If they can't afford dinner at a four or five star restaurant, then choose a place that is more within their budget.
My husband, earlier on, paid for initial dates because he wanted to, and then I contributed, though not at his request. A little while ago I planned dinner at a nice restaurant he hadn't been to. He's a more frugal man and wouldn't choose a more expensive restaurant, usually. But we talked about this place and he was curious. I picked up the $130 tab. He was fully expecting to pay. It was my treat for him/us.
There were times in the past that I did enjoy eating at nicer restaurants for some dates, and I paid the bill. When I can afford the expense, it's fine. When I had to tighten the budget, I opted for a different, more affordable, restaurant. Since a lot of dates were lunch/dinner and a movie, he would pay for one and I'd pay for the other. Sometimes I just pre-ordered tickets.
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This is such a strange question...hard to even reply seriously!
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