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I don't have a problem. My friend tried talking to a girl and asking her name and she caught an attitude immediately. She could have just politely turned him down and walk off but she turned into a you know what.
Politeness is the key word here.... on both sides. If a female acts like that you don't want to give her "the time of day" anyhow.
I am actually the least angry person in real life, but some of the posters on CD just rub me the wrong way.
I really don't know any women that brush guys off in a mean or rude way. Maybe I just hang out with cool girls.
It's the idea that we are a piece of meat and are asking to be hit on. Well, no it's actually just an outfit.
It's almost like some men feel entitled to do whatever they want and control how the woman responds.
I could go up to a guy on the street and hit on him. I have no control over how he responds. he can be irritated, but he isn't asking for it. Even if he is close to being naked.
No one would question if a straight guy was irritated to be hit on by a gay guy.
I know this sounds like I don't like to get hit on, but that's not true. I always take it as a compliment and say that I am married. No big deal.
What is a big deal is if you tell me how I should feel about that interaction.
It's all about mutual respect. Your gonna find some guys and gals that go over the line, that's life.
Why should we? Quite frankly men don't owe you anything. Harassment is such a subjective word. Does it constitute a guy you find unattractive talking to you?
I don't know why this is hard to understand. I would say maybe even 50% of the people who harassed me we people I might have found attractive. If they weren't harassers.
Your looks have no baring on whether or not I think you are a harasser, your behavior does.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
Once a woman says no, back off completely. It's what I do. However, some guys don't understand that no means no.
Exactly! If you do that, no one will accuse you of harassing!
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123
I mean don't get me wrong guys.
******* sucks, as well being told to go **** yourself in so many words, But don't mistake the obvious shows of intent in those words and actions as "I just need to try harder to make her understand"
It's not an invitation to assert yourself with brute force. It's your message you are not wanted.
Don't turn your anger in to an agenda
Amen! It is when you expect that the woman will reponde positively to your advances does it turn into harassment.
I'll share a personal story. One day I was getting off the train at around 11pm. A guy paid me a compliment. No matter what the guy looks like, if it is night time I am not going to entertain your small talk at the dark train station. (I might if it is day time though)
I said thanks and went on my merry way. This guy then went to ask me for my number. I said no thanks.
And after that he started flipping out. Calling me the b-word, calling me a lesbian. He even said something along the lines of "I am really hot, I can't believe you would turn down my number. I am the best looking guy here!"
He shouted a few more things my way and eventually I was no longer in the earshot, and I hurried off to my car.
The thing was, this guy was an attractive guy, and he lost all attractive points by being a prick. So he went from having a 50% chance to having none.
Guys do that? I just shrug my shoulders and go on about my day. Nothing to get upset about. If she is cruel about her rejection, I feel sorry for the guy who does get to date her.
I see it far too often in my office with the straight out of collage crowd mingling after work.
A girl can be as nice as possible in asserting the lack of interest with a particular guy and he (seemingly) takes it as a personal challenge that he just needs to find "his in" and proceeds to force himself in to situations that involve the girl at every event.
Eventually the girl snaps and just has to be "a b**ch" about it for them to understand.
On the opposite end I've also seen straight up nasty people be straight up nasty about rejecting someone politely inquiring about the chance of a date
It runs the gambit.
Most guys seem to understand no really doesn't mean no, but you occasionally get the lost wanders who can't let go of their egos or agendas long enough to want to understand or care about the situations happening around them.
If they want it, they want it and will try to persuade the option to do so regardless of anything or anyone.
I don't have a problem. My friend tried talking to a girl and asking her name and she caught an attitude immediately. She could have just politely turned him down and walk off but she turned into a you know what.
But why does she have to give him her name. Are they friends? Have they been talking for a few minutes? The problem is, too many men think that they are entitled to women returning their advances.
I am super friendly and make small talk all the time. If you come up to me and say "hey miss, what's your name?" I am going to exit the conversation. If I am feeling bratty, then I'll give you the side eye. Otherwise I'll just ignore you. If you said hello, we talked a few minutes about the weather or whatever, you introduce yourself politely, then yes I'll probably give you my name. And it might even be my real name.
But why on earth do you think I am going to give my name to a random guy who comes up and says "what's your name?"
You somehow think clothing has something to do with how you are treated on the street. You'd be mistaken. Women are harassed in turtlenecks, hijabs, sweats, bikinis and bandage dresses. What you see as an innocuous whistle can easily turn into being followed, cursed at or worse.
Stepping outside doesn't mean people have the right to approach me, invade my personal space or comment on my appearance. That should be a basic human right. But we've got it twisted in our society and tell women that is something they should prepare to deal with because they are women.
Wonder how you'd feel if no one would pay attention to you?
Last edited by Foxworthy5; 08-06-2014 at 03:24 PM..
I am super friendly and make small talk all the time. If you come up to me and say "hey miss, what's your name?" I am going to exit the conversation. If I am feeling bratty, then I'll give you the side eye. Otherwise I'll just ignore you. If you said hello, we talked a few minutes about the weather or whatever, you introduce yourself politely, then yes I'll probably give you my name. And it might even be my real name.
This is how it's done. As I posted a couple of days ago, you don't walk up to a woman and blurt out a request for a number, or a name, with or without a compliment preceding. You ease into it. This is very basic Social Skills 101. It's hard to believe there are that many dudes around who don't know this. It's just normal human interaction.
I'll be one to admit that I don't understand women's social cues. While I have had a girlfriend in the past, women are still pretty confusing to me. Each time a woman smiles at me or speaks to me, I just assume she's a friendly person.
Wonder how you'd feel is no one would pay attention to you?
Are you implying she should be grateful for the harassment she receives? For real?? Who thinks like that? Aren't you the dude who said this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Foxworthy5;
Politeness is the key word here.... on both sides. If a female acts like that you don't want to give her "the time of day" anyhow.
Yup, it was you, alright.
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Who thinks like that? Aren't you the dude who said this: