I cant' understand why alot of women who wear sexy clothes get offended when a guy tries talk to them (younger, Latin)
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I'm still trying to understand the mindset that causes that behavior in the first place. The catcalling and harassment don't happen in Russia or Eastern Europe, I can tell you that. So clearly, it's cultural. It also doesn't happen in Sweden, where a) men are notoriously shy, and b) women have made huge strides in gaining respect and equality. (Or not among European Swedes, anyway) Not 100% sure about the rest of Scandinavia, but I think it's pretty much the same. It's just a different mentality there. I wonder how Holland compares.
So, what's the mentality in the US and some West European countries, where public harassment of women is common? Where is this coming from? What is it in the culture that gives boys and men the idea that that is acceptable behavior? Can anyone here explain? And what about Canada? Are Canadians too polite to harass women? If so, why aren't Americans "too polite"?
I don't know.
This is slightly unrelated, but in my opinion there is a clear shift of the modern day man becoming less stereotypically "male". As the gender gap shrinks, so does man's traditional definition of being a man. It seems a lot of men feel like they don't have a shot with any women, and it's sad. They stop trying to be the best man they can be for themselves, their friends and family, their SO, and society because it's too hard and overbearing. They have to resort to catcalling and harassment instead of trying to approach or court women. The fine line of being a perv or creep and facing legal or social repercussions is certainly an obstacle, but it's also the easy way out.
To be clear, I'm not blaming it on equality or women's rights, it just seems that many men are too weak to adapt to the curve and simply fall by the wayside.
This is slightly unrelated, but in my opinion there is a clear shift of the modern day man becoming less stereotypically "male". As the gender gap shrinks, so does man's traditional definition of being a man. It seems a lot of men feel like they don't have a shot with any women, and it's sad. They stop trying to be the best man they can be for themselves, their friends and family, their SO, and society because it's too hard and overbearing. They have to resort to catcalling and harassment instead of trying to approach or court women. The fine line of being a perv or creep and facing legal or social repercussions is certainly an obstacle, but it's also the easy way out.
To be clear, I'm not blaming it on equality or women's rights, it just seems that many men are too weak to adapt to the curve and simply fall by the wayside.
But catcalling in the US has existed since before the gender gap started shrinking. Your "traditional definition of being a man" phrase made me think, though. I think it's the hyper-masculinity pushed in American culture, the macho image (now beginning to fade, thankfully), that causes it, in large part. That, combined with the fact that parents generally don't talk to their boys about how to behave around women.
I don't get why alot of women get offended when men stare or try to talk to them when they wear sexy clothing.
I could understand if a guy was being pushy, rude or belligerent. Alot of women develop an attitude when a guy they don't find attractive themselves tries to talk to them politely.
Alot of women try to attract "certain" types of men they find attractive and get mad when they don't attract the ones they want.
What are your
Thoughts, opinions, personal experiences, info...
that all depends on how you approach them. a lot of times when guys approach a beautiful woman wearing something very sexy, the first thing out of their mouths is usually something stupid and highly suggestive. "hey baby, that dress would look fine on my bedroom floor" or something similar. at that point they are being treated like a piece of meat on a hook, and that is what gets them upset. now if you approach them with something like, hi my name is stan, and i have go to day that you make that dress look fabulous. you have done two things here, you have introduced yourself, and you have given her the complement that SHE makes the dress look good. and that means she is now really happy she bought that dress and wore it, and that she herself is quite attractive.
then you need to move away from her looks and onto something more substantial, like getting her to talk to you without thoughts of sex running through your words. find out what she does for a living, what she is studying in school, what ever. and of course she is going to want information about you, so give it, with in reason.
its all in the initial approach, do it right and she will be inviting, do it wrong and she calls the bouncer.
that all depends on how you approach them. a lot of times when guys approach a beautiful woman wearing something very sexy, the first thing out of their mouths is usually something stupid and highly suggestive. "hey baby, that dress would look fine on my bedroom floor" or something similar. at that point they are being treated like a piece of meat on a hook, and that is what gets them upset. now if you approach them with something like, hi my name is stan, and i have go to day that you make that dress look fabulous. you have done two things here, you have introduced yourself, and you have given her the complement that SHE makes the dress look good. and that means she is now really happy she bought that dress and wore it, and that she herself is quite attractive.
then you need to move away from her looks and onto something more substantial, like getting her to talk to you without thoughts of sex running through your words. find out what she does for a living, what she is studying in school, what ever. and of course she is going to want information about you, so give it, with in reason.
its all in the initial approach, do it right and she will be inviting, do it wrong and she calls the bouncer.
Bohm, you need to write a how-to book, and publish it. Or at least, make it available via C-D. You have the greatest suggestions, overall!
Or, what about the Billy Crystal line, from the old Pepsi commercial: "Dahling, you look MAHvelous!" That would work.
Bohm, you need to write a how-to book, and publish it. Or at least, make it available via C-D. You have the greatest suggestions, overall!
i am no writer, i am a killer! oh wait that was in full metal jacket
truthfully i am no writer, but i will continue to give of what i have learned over the years so that others who have yet to experience life can avoid some of lifes pitfalls.
Catcalling doesn't happen in Russia and Eastern Europe? What?
This is what I've been told by US women who were students in Russia, or who've worked there, and by Russian women now living in the US, too. My guess is it has something to do with the Sov regime strongly discouraging the objectification of female "comrades". But reading these comments, I wonder if it goes beyond that, to Russian or Slavic culture. The Sov regime died over 20 years ago, so, maybe.
No offense, but if you like how Swedish men act, then perhaps you should move to Sweden? Similarly, to act like American men are more boorish than men in Europe is silly, since you're most likely a tourist there and aren't in any way immersed in their culture. Like, Russian culture in many places is basically one step away from being cavemen. It's totally "whoever is big and strong just takes whatever woman he wants." American women love to romanticize other nations. Like, Latin Americans are viewed by American women as being "smooth and suave." Yeah, that's great, meanwhile down in Latin America there's a reason nudity is OK and women are all half-naked walking down the street. It's not because their men are such gentlemen. Foreign guys look at American women as suckers. They know an American woman is going to go on vacation, get plowed by them, leave, and they made out like bandits.
No offense, but if you like how Swedish men act, then perhaps you should move to Sweden? Similarly, to act like American men are more boorish than men in Europe is silly, since you're most likely a tourist there and aren't in any way immersed in their culture. Like, Russian culture in many places is basically one step away from being cavemen. It's totally "whoever is big and strong just takes whatever woman he wants." American women love to romanticize other nations. Like, Latin Americans are viewed by American women as being "smooth and suave." Yeah, that's great, meanwhile down in Latin America there's a reason nudity is OK and women are all half-naked walking down the street. It's not because their men are such gentlemen. Foreign guys look at American women as suckers. They know an American woman is going to go on vacation, get plowed by them, leave, and they made out like bandits.
Lots of wrong assumptions here, lots of stereotypes. And btw, nudity is NOT ok in Latin America. Those generally are conservative cultures. Look at how working-class women dress. Very conservatively. Not even going to address the rest. This discussion seems to be over your head.
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That would work.
