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Old 08-05-2014, 11:11 AM
 
3,852 posts, read 4,140,301 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Kind of depends. I would encourage people I date to try my passions, even if it isn't in their comfort zone, and I hope they would as well. I would never have tried hang gliding or rock climbing if it weren't for this. Didn't become passionate about them but I'm glad I tried them.
I agree with you about this. However, this isn't the same as trying to push a true introvert to become more extroverted in order to suit oneself. I'm not sure going out partying qualifies as a true passion that must be sampled.
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Old 08-05-2014, 11:48 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
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I don't know. I'm fairly introverted. I like my alone time and people exhaust me. Socializing exhausts me. I need considerable downtime to recharge, and at times anxiety in crowds can over take me, though less than years ago. Still, I'm thankful when people I'm saying push me to be social. If I had my druthers I'd just read a book or work on a project, and I know that isn't healthy, despite the toll socializing takes on me.
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Old 08-05-2014, 11:56 AM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,400 posts, read 6,351,299 times
Reputation: 9636
I'm definitely an introvert, but also a situation-specific extrovert. I don't like socializing in large groups. My anxiety creeps up. If I do attend a larger-ish social function then I prefer to leave early. I'm the one who will socialize with a few people and avoid drawing attention to myself. For going "out" I prefer comedy clubs and concerts held at smaller venues, and I like lounges with intimate settings. I need alone time or time to recharge from being "on."

In many ways, I am a homebody. I enjoy going out and trying new things, but am certainly comfortable kicking back at home with a book, playing video games, listening to music, pondering, watching a movie, etc.
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Old 08-05-2014, 12:03 PM
 
Location: Ohio
1,724 posts, read 1,596,543 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique View Post
I'm definitely an introvert, but also a situation-specific extrovert. I don't like socializing in large groups. My anxiety creeps up. If I do attend a larger-ish social function then I prefer to leave early. I'm the one who will socialize with a few people and avoid drawing attention to myself. For going "out" I prefer comedy clubs and concerts held at smaller venues, and I like lounges with intimate settings. I need alone time or time to recharge from being "on."

In many ways, I am a homebody. I enjoy going out and trying new things, but am certainly comfortable kicking back at home with a book, playing video games, listening to music, pondering, watching a movie, etc.
You sound a lot like my wife.
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Old 08-05-2014, 12:11 PM
 
33,387 posts, read 34,745,522 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avoforastig View Post
I've been dating a girl I think is more of the homebody/introvert type. While I'm not exactly the life of the party myself, I do crave socializing. Going out with friends to bars, going to concerts, and staying out late has always been a big part of my enjoyment in life.

I enjoy doing the day to day stuff with her like making meals, shopping, day trips, going to dinners/happy hours. However, I feel like she is more comfortable and desires to end nights early. I feel like she prefers less stimulating environments than I do. I had a previous gf who always gave me **** about wanting to socialize, this girl has some very similar qualities to her. I don't want this to ruin what seems to be an otherwise fruitful opportunity. I'd hate to end what seems like an otherwise fruitful relationship but restraining my social habits makes me unhappy. Has anyone had any experience dating an introvert? Is dating an introvert not an option for someone like me?
if she trusts you, and you know what she likes, then you can draw her out a bit and expand her comfort zone a little at a time. kind of like getting someone to like eating spicier foods. my cousin married a girl that didnt really eat spicy foods, and he loved them. so what he did was when she wasnt looking, he would add a drop of tabasco sauce to something she was cooking. eventually he would add two drops, then three, and so on. eventually she got to the point where he could add the sauce openly and she didnt care.

you need to do the same thing with her. lets say she enjoys watching tennis. so what you do is get tickets to a college tennis match in your area, and you get her out doors in a place with people around, but she is watching something she enjoys. eventually you expand her comfort zone to where you are going to a dance club with her. just remember that it is incumbent on you to make sure nothing bad happens to her, otherwise all your good work goes down the tubes.
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Old 08-05-2014, 12:34 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,770 posts, read 11,986,606 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avoforastig View Post
I've been dating a girl I think is more of the homebody/introvert type. While I'm not exactly the life of the party myself, I do crave socializing. Going out with friends to bars, going to concerts, and staying out late has always been a big part of my enjoyment in life.

I enjoy doing the day to day stuff with her like making meals, shopping, day trips, going to dinners/happy hours. However, I feel like she is more comfortable and desires to end nights early. I feel like she prefers less stimulating environments than I do. I had a previous gf who always gave me **** about wanting to socialize, this girl has some very similar qualities to her. I don't want this to ruin what seems to be an otherwise fruitful opportunity. I'd hate to end what seems like an otherwise fruitful relationship but restraining my social habits makes me unhappy. Has anyone had any experience dating an introvert? Is dating an introvert not an option for someone like me?
Some of this I find to be age specific. I'm an introvert, but when I was in my 20s, going to bars, concerts and being up til dawn was par for the course. But at some point, your body can't keep up with that anymore. You need more sleep to function. Your job might knock the stuffing out of you and you just want to chill in the evening to regroup for the next workday. Half my life ago I was in college and having a helluva time. At 42, I don't have the same interest in doing those things, nor the same time, disposable income, or the energy to party like I was 21.

So some of it may not be introverted vs extroverted, but rather life stages. Or not.
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Old 08-05-2014, 12:36 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,838,343 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
Some of this I find to be age specific. I'm an introvert, but when I was in my 20s, going to bars, concerts and being up til dawn was par for the course. But at some point, your body can't keep up with that anymore. You need more sleep to function. Your job might knock the stuffing out of you and you just want to chill in the evening to regroup for the next workday. Half my life ago I was in college and having a helluva time. At 42, I don't have the same interest in doing those things, nor the same time, disposable income, or the energy to party like I was 21.

So some of it may not be introverted vs extroverted, but rather life stages. Or not.

I'll drink to that.

Well, not tonight, it's a work night.
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Old 08-05-2014, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,770 posts, read 11,986,606 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I'll drink to that.

Well, not tonight, it's a work night.


I work in a customer-service based job, so I am "on" all day. When the workday ends, I "shut off" and I don't want to hear the phone ring or talk to one more person. I am chatty, friendly, outgoing, and exhausted from it all by 5 o'clock.
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Old 08-05-2014, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,216 posts, read 8,285,738 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Being pushed out of your comfort zone, socially and professionally can be a very good thing at times. It helps people evolve and excel.
Why do I need someone to do that? I can do that by myself. Trying to make me do things I don't want to do is an immediate dealbreaker.
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Old 08-05-2014, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,216 posts, read 8,285,738 times
Reputation: 8628
Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique View Post
I'm definitely an introvert, but also a situation-specific extrovert. I don't like socializing in large groups. My anxiety creeps up. If I do attend a larger-ish social function then I prefer to leave early. I'm the one who will socialize with a few people and avoid drawing attention to myself. For going "out" I prefer comedy clubs and concerts held at smaller venues, and I like lounges with intimate settings. I need alone time or time to recharge from being "on."

In many ways, I am a homebody. I enjoy going out and trying new things, but am certainly comfortable kicking back at home with a book, playing video games, listening to music, pondering, watching a movie, etc.
You just described me a bit lol.
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