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It doesn't have anything to do with it, that is what!
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4DM1N
I don't know what this has to do with the OP question.
Dating, in general, is not easy. In the beginning, you're usually hopeful and optimistic about what's in store. But over time, especially if nothing in particular is sticking, it can be frustrating.
Well if (1) one's social life is supposedly great and one can easily meet opposite gender,
and (2) online dating supposedly sucks
then why in the world would one continue to use online dating?
A lot of it, and I'm at fault of this as well, is a higher expectation of ourselves than what we really are. If you're a guy living at home, who's 30, and barely working part time you can't realistically request a career woman, with no children, and the ability to take care of you.
What makes dating hard is expectations. Some people have high, some have low, and the rest make up the broad middle. I've read my share of profiles requesting a fit man, with a career, house, and car to be paired with a woman who lives with her parents and has multiple kids with no support from their dads. True, you can have your preferences, but you also have to be realistic with them as well.
For me, I didn't like the time sink I had to pour into it (and price in the case of sites like Match) for the lame results I was getting. It wasn't so much terrible as it was disappointing for me. Kind of like if you buy a supplement at a health food store and it doesn't work for you. You dumped money into it, not sure if the results were worth it, and decided to live without it. While your best friend might have a totally different experience and get great results and keep using it.
Same with online dating I suppose.
Absolutely. It's why I ditched Match after paying for a 30 day subscription the second time. Since I was putting money towards it I expected better results. In the end, you still have no control of who's going to be attracted to you and who isn't, no matter how much or how little you put towards dating. I compared my results of dating over the last year and I had much better success on the free sites. The pay sites tended to fizzle out a lot quicker, since the mindset is/was I'm paying for a service so I want the best. In the end, why pay money for something when the end, when the free version is 85% as good as the pay sites?
Well if (1) one's social life is supposedly great and one can easily meet opposite gender,
and (2) online dating supposedly sucks
then why in the world would one continue to use online dating?
That logic doesn't comprehend.
I find interracial dating to be much easier online. In the real world, black men approach me most which is not what I want. Much easier to ignore their advances online or better yet, not get them at all when I'm using Tinder.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,940,305 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84
I've read my share of profiles requesting a fit man, with a career, house, and car to be paired with a woman who lives with her parents and has multiple kids with no support from their dads.
Have to admit, I've never seen a profile like that, but perhaps its an age thing or I simply don't look at the profiles of women that present themselves that they might be like this... if there is a look to them.
So many things on this forum about other's experiences make me scratch my head. For instance, women don't want to date someone earning less than them. The last four women I've dated all made more than me, three of them $40k+ more. It's never been an issue to me or to them. But again, perhaps that is because of age.
Well if (1) one's social life is supposedly great and one can easily meet opposite gender,
and (2) online dating supposedly sucks
then why in the world would one continue to use online dating?
That logic doesn't comprehend.
Because one's social life can be great or good while not necessarily providing access to good matches with the opposite sex. I gave an example with my social life.
OLD may not be perfect, but it CAN BE a useful tool.
Have to admit, I've never seen a profile like that, but perhaps its an age thing or I simply don't look at the profiles of women that present themselves that they might be like this... if there is a look to them.
So many things on this forum about other's experiences make me scratch my head. For instance, women don't want to date someone earning less than them. The last four women I've dated all made more than me, three of them $40k+ more. It's never been an issue to me or to them. But again, perhaps that is because of age.
You're in a different age demographic than myself. If I was 10 years older, I would probably do a lot better online. I do better than average if all I want to do is date. That's kinda where my mindset is right now, so dating has worked well for me. If things don't work out, no harm no foul. I'm okay with my serial dating mindset right now.
When I'm in relationship mode, my mindset and expectations change. I'd like to be surprised by a potential relationship from my dating mindset. Just hasn't happened when I was in a position to realize it was happening.
A lot of it, and I'm at fault of this as well, is a higher expectation of ourselves than what we really are. If you're a guy living at home, who's 30, and barely working part time you can't realistically request a career woman, with no children, and the ability to take care of you.
What makes dating hard is expectations. Some people have high, some have low, and the rest make up the broad middle. I've read my share of profiles requesting a fit man, with a career, house, and car to be paired with a woman who lives with her parents and has multiple kids with no support from their dads. True, you can have your preferences, but you also have to be realistic with them as well.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,940,305 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84
You're in a different age demographic than myself. If I was 10 years older, I would probably do a lot better online. I
I guess, but I had a ton of success OLD 32-35 as well. Met some great girlfriends that way using CL, Onion Personals and Match. But the pool now may be different than then as well. Pretty much everyone online that I saw was super high caliber, yes, even on CL which didn't have spambots then. I don't think I met anyone OLD 10 years ago that didn't have at least a masters and many had more than one or a Ph.D.
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84
I'd like to be surprised by a potential relationship from my dating mindset. Just hasn't happened when I was in a position to realize it was happening.
Interesting. I've never had a "relationship mindset"? Relationships spring out of dating, they've never been something I looked for, they happen or they don't. If they do, great, if they don't, great. The ride itself is fun.
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