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I'd tell him to look for women who date obese men (usually obese women)or instead of dating work on bettering himself.
Would you really say that to someone? Tell them to look for other obese people? I mean I do believe in being honest, but not to the point of cruelty. That's not just being honest.. That to me is something that is said with malice aforethought. That's just men spirited.
Last edited by Sydney123; 08-08-2014 at 04:34 PM..
When you apply for jobs and get rejected over and over, what do you do? ... If you don't think you're doing anything wrong and you think you're a good match for what the employer wants, then ask if you really stand out from your competition.
Indeed, chronic lack of dating-success is much akin to being long-term unemployed. But a potential employer can't expand his business without hiring. The potential employee in question might not be hired; there may be better candidates who get the job. But somebody will get the job. Leaving the position unfilled is not an option. It very much is an option in dating.
Further, every employee realizes that he/she was hired because no better candidates took the offer. The new employee is by definition the best of the worst. And the employer realizes that the employee accepted the offer because there was no better offer. There is no ill feeling by either party of having "settled". Years later, there is no exchange of recriminations. There are no accusations by the employee that the employer really wanted to hire some one else, but could not, and therefore acquiesced to the employee that they did manage to recruit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane
Economic markets rely on an agreed upon measure of value. Something priced at $20 has more value than something priced at $10. But we don't have an equivalent in the "dating market". You and I can't look at the same woman and assign her the same score.
Measure-of-value is rarely agreed-upon or even bracketed within some range. The price may be clearly marked, but our willingness to pay depends on whether the item appeals to us. Is it needed? Suppose that replacement shock-absorbers for my car cost $100. Is this a good value? If I need to repair my car, then those shocks are probably a good value, because I need them. I can't wait for a coupon to be published, or shop around for weeks for a cheaper price. But if you have a different brand of car, for which those shocks don't fit, then their value to you is $0, and you have no reason to buy them regardless of how far the listed-price is lowered. They could be high-quality at stunningly low price, but unless you buy them just to resell them on Craigslist, they have no value to you.
The same thing occurs in dating. If I seek a rare trait, such as being child-free, then the possession of that trait by a potential mate is of great value to me. But to others, it's of no value - or even of negative value. My problem becomes finding mates who happen to be of high value in my personal judgment, and my prospective mate's problem becomes how to advertise possession of that trait.
Indeed, this is another analogy between dating and commerce: how to advertise one's niche wares to a niche audience?
Indeed, chronic lack of dating-success is much akin to being long-term unemployed. But a potential employer can't expand his business without hiring. The potential employee in question might not be hired; there may be better candidates who get the job. But somebody will get the job. Leaving the position unfilled is not an option. It very much is an option in dating.
Further, every employee realizes that he/she was hired because no better candidates took the offer. The new employee is by definition the best of the worst. And the employer realizes that the employee accepted the offer because there was no better offer. There is no ill feeling by either party of having "settled". Years later, there is no exchange of recriminations. There are no accusations by the employee that the employer really wanted to hire some one else, but could not, and therefore acquiesced to the employee that they did manage to recruit.
Measure-of-value is rarely agreed-upon or even bracketed within some range. The price may be clearly marked, but our willingness to pay depends on whether the item appeals to us. Is it needed? Suppose that replacement shock-absorbers for my car cost $100. Is this a good value? If I need to repair my car, then those shocks are probably a good value, because I need them. I can't wait for a coupon to be published, or shop around for weeks for a cheaper price. But if you have a different brand of car, for which those shocks don't fit, then their value to you is $0, and you have no reason to buy them regardless of how far the listed-price is lowered. They could be high-quality at stunningly low price, but unless you buy them just to resell them on Craigslist, they have no value to you.
The same thing occurs in dating. If I seek a rare trait, such as being child-free, then the possession of that trait by a potential mate is of great value to me. But to others, it's of no value - or even of negative value. My problem becomes finding mates who happen to be of high value in my personal judgment, and my prospective mate's problem becomes how to advertise possession of that trait.
Indeed, this is another analogy between dating and commerce: how to advertise one's niche wares to a niche audience?
OLD is probably the best way to go about that at the current time. It lets you list your preferences and browse for people who fit yours in a way that is impractical at a real life social gathering. I think it was the comedian Aziz Ansari who said, and I'm paraphrasing slightly, "Online dating is like walking into a crowded party, saying 'Jewish and my zip code!', and having people who fit those criteria pop out of the mass of people while everyone else fades away."
OLD is probably the best way to go about that at the current time. It lets you list your preferences and browse for people who fit yours in a way that is impractical at a real life social gathering. I think it was the comedian Aziz Ansari who said, and I'm paraphrasing slightly, "Online dating is like walking into a crowded party, saying 'Jewish and my zip code!', and having people who fit those criteria pop out of the mass of people while everyone else fades away."
IDK.. Seems to be a lot of people here who aren't having much luck with OLD. Just saying.
Last edited by Sydney123; 08-08-2014 at 06:20 PM..
Would you really say that to someone? Tell them to look for other obese people? I mean I do believe in being honest, but not to the point of cruelty. That's not just being honest.. That to me is something that is said with malice aforethought. That's just men spirited.
I would and have. I had an obese friend who couldn't understand why younger thinner women didn't want him. I told him either to date women like him or work on getting in shape.
OLD is probably the best way to go about that at the current time. It lets you list your preferences and browse for people who fit yours in a way that is impractical at a real life social gathering. I think it was the comedian Aziz Ansari who said, and I'm paraphrasing slightly, "Online dating is like walking into a crowded party, saying 'Jewish and my zip code!', and having people who fit those criteria pop out of the mass of people while everyone else fades away."
Ha!! I just watched that about an hour ago. He filmed that special in Philly, too.
The reason OLD doesn't work is that people don't use it properly. We've talked on multiple posts about how people don't read profiles or check if they are matches, and that's why it doesn't work. The "Jewish and my zip code" thing works because you are looking not only for an attractive person but also for one who fits your criteria.
1. Lower your pickiness/standards or whatever you want to call it.
Or change/swap your standards or whatever entomology/semantics you want to give it.
AND/OR
2. Increase your attractiveness to the opposite sex
Discuss.
Volumes could be written about either.
There are people who, despite being no prizes themselves, insist on having high standards when it comes to dating. The classic is the nebbish who is looking for an insatiable blonde sex goddess with gravity-defying tatas while he is out of shape and practically dresses in Grrranimals.
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