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My post is related to this topic but it is also off base:
I had a good male friend of mine "successfully lure away" this female from her husband. My friend got her to commit the affair and have her leave her husband. She had one kid with the husband but she decided to leave the kid with the father and be with my friend. (she sees the kid on certain weekend)
I asked the former wife why she left and it was that she didn't feel like she was good enough and he deserved better. (this was never communicated to him)
Now in 2017, she has a kid with my good friend and she cheated on him. We found her tinder profile that was active. My friend was upset but we had to remind him the karma he caused for his role of breaking her previous home. This time, i asked her why she cheated on my friend and she claims that she cheated first, although we have CLEAR evidence that she cheated first. She actually contradicted herself, and about time she tried to correct her story, it was too late.
This woman is very booksmart but she makes very bad decisions, i mean pretty bad. Sometimes, it's not about the other person, more so that the individual, themselves, are bat**** crazy.
The first time my wife changed physically and emotionally for the worse, and I was also quite irresponsible and very much at fault..
The second time, things in general got worse over time. I think we both had responsibility for the divorce, but she was the one who ask for the divorce. I will say that I did not stray, but she did. She fell in love with someone else and that was the beginning of the end...
I don't know if I'll get more chances to do it right or not...
Some people were here when I was in the thick of it. It wasn't a fantasically happy marriage to begin with but it was ok, and I was trying to hang in there for the kids. Then he had a mental and emotional breakdown and started acting crazy, so it had to end. Things were further complicated by him finding an old flame he'd been searching for online for years, and reestablishing contact with her...and me having that "supportive male friend" type person hanging about. But those factors just made it easier to pull the plug, the outbursts and violence were making it inevitable anyways.
I don't see "never should have gotten married to begin with" which would describe my short lived marriage. I was 23, he was much older. He asked and I accepted. It never occurred to me to say no, but 2 years later we weren't even talking and we were avoiding each other completely. We walked away with no emotional or financial attachments. We've never spoken since and it's been 12 years.
Addiction. Alcoholism, cocaine and other drug abuse, gambling.
All of those things were there from the start, although not yet to the point of consuming his life and our resources. Especially MY resources.
To me, we were young and it was party time and the day would come when that was over as we married and had a kid. My parents didn't drink, I had no idea illegal gambling even existed, and I knew nothing about how addiction works. His father was a nasty, abusive drunk who my husband had found dead when he was 14. He told me horror stories, so in my mind, he would want to be the complete opposite of his dad.
I know the day it ended, although it would take another eight years to die for good. January 12, 1991. We were married a year and a half and I got the confirmation that I was pregnant. He went to the bar and didn't come home for three days, and only then because some of his bar friends told him he was being an idiot. From there he descended more heavily into all his habits and turned into his father. In some weird way, becoming a parent set that off in him. I still don't understand it.
Would not go to rehab, would not go to marriage counseling, became irrational, was physically and mentally abusive, and finally when he threatened to "take that f**king kid and disappear" in front of my parents, my mother called the cops. After that he made an attempt to stop drinking for about six months as a condition of visitation and the restraining order, and he gave up drug use and got a job and picked his life up somewhat, but it was too late for us. A month after he was taken out, my father dropped dead of a heart attack in front of me and I knew life was too short to waste any more time on a man who didn't want to grow up. We built a civil relationship over the years as parents even though he did backflips to not pay child support, but just getting rid of him was a financial relief to me so I chose to let it go for the sake of peace and our daughter.
We are fairly friendly now that our daughter is an adult. The three of us had lunch together recently and took our daughter to the airport together and we did a lot of laughing, but we are both in other relationships now. He still drinks too much, but he is functional and has a good job and helps her out financially. There was a time when I desperately wished that he would die and even thought about how I could make it happen. Now I would probably grieve a bit if he did.
I answered my spouse (wife) changed in that her bipolar disorder got worse and even with marriage counseling where the disorder was recognized and addressed, she refused to accept it and get treatment.
Ever since then, I will not go near anyone with mental issues even those living normal lives with proper drug therapy. If you are on mind altering drugs, I will avoid you like the plague.
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