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EXACTLY! I am kind of laughing here at some of the responses. Some people seems to be stuck in the old days acting like sharing their body with man is like giving him some special "gift" or something he has to earn (by committing to a relationship). It's not 1950 anymore... we're allowed to not only have sex, but initiate, and enjoy it too. And.... he's not gaining any more " benefits " than she is.
Sounds like Jen ( and others do this too) agreed to a FWB with the "hope" of his coming around and eventually walking off into the sunset with him. That's where a lot of theses relationships go south. He doesn't come around and suddenly she's hurt and she's been "used"! ( or vice versa).
Catching feelings? Of course you're going to catch some feelings... you'd have to be a pretty cold hearted orb not to catch some feelings for someone you like and are intimate with. The trick is to be honest ( with him and
Yourself) in regards to your expectations and his and your reasons for entering into this type relationship.
As in "any" traditional relationships.... you take your chances. Just because a couple of people say "I love you" doesn't mean that they're going to live happily ever after.
I love men and get along well with them, but finding Mr Right is pretty far down the list of my priorities at this point in my life. YMMV.
EXACTLY! I am kind of laughing here at some of the responses. Some people seems to be stuck in the old days acting like sharing their body with man is like giving him some special "gift" or something he has to earn (by committing to a relationship). It's not 1950 anymore... we're allowed to not only have sex, but initiate, and enjoy it too. And.... he's not gaining any more " benefits " than she is.
Sounds like Jen ( and others do this too) agreed to a FWB with the "hope" of his coming around and eventually walking off into the sunset with him. That's where a lot of theses relationships go south. He doesn't come around and suddenly she's hurt and she's been "used"! ( or vice versa).
Catching feelings? Of course you're going to catch some feelings... you'd have to be a pretty cold hearted orb not to catch some feelings for someone you like and are intimate with. The trick is to be honest ( with him and
Yourself) in regards to your expectations and his and your reasons for entering into this type relationship.
As in "any" traditional relationships.... you take your chances. Just because a couple of people say "I love you" doesn't mean that they're going to live happily ever after.
I love men and get along well with them, but finding Mr Right is pretty far down the list of my priorities at this point in my life. YMMV.
I was thinking something like this, too.
When I had a FWB, he got sex, and I got sex. He got conversation and some nice company now and again, and I got that as well. We both put in the same "work" and we both got the same rewards. Sex was as rewarding to me, as to him. Conversation as rewarding to him, as to me (to the best of my knowledge.)
I don't think that Jen poster, was actually hoping for more up front, I think she's laboring under a common illusion that if you have loving feelings for someone, that means you have to lock them into a commitment and form a serious escalated relationship, to try and (control) keep them in your life. Well, you do not have to do that. No one has to do that. And sometimes it would be a terrible idea, and they shouldn't!
I laugh though, at some people who insist on "sex only, no feelings." How you gonna tell me what not to feel...even I can't always control that!
And yeah, I also have friends that I have loving feelings for, and we have snuggles sometimes, but we don't have sex. Friends *gasp!* even of the opposite sex!
EXACTLY! I am kind of laughing here at some of the responses. Some people seems to be stuck in the old days acting like sharing their body with man is like giving him some special "gift" or something he has to earn (by committing to a relationship). It's not 1950 anymore... we're allowed to not only have sex, but initiate, and enjoy it too. And.... he's not gaining any more " benefits " than she is.
Sounds like Jen ( and others do this too) agreed to a FWB with the "hope" of his coming around and eventually walking off into the sunset with him. That's where a lot of theses relationships go south. He doesn't come around and suddenly she's hurt and she's been "used"! ( or vice versa).
Catching feelings? Of course you're going to catch some feelings... you'd have to be a pretty cold hearted orb not to catch some feelings for someone you like and are intimate with. The trick is to be honest ( with him and
Yourself) in regards to your expectations and his and your reasons for entering into this type relationship.
As in "any" traditional relationships.... you take your chances. Just because a couple of people say "I love you" doesn't mean that they're going to live happily ever after.
I love men and get along well with them, but finding Mr Right is pretty far down the list of my priorities at this point in my life. YMMV.
I said that because he was never even in most of the situations he is posting in. He always has SUCH A STRONG opinion, I would say ... the most EXTREME opinion of most posters and all of the "I would never ...." statements about things he has never even personally experienced. Nuts. Like you would give a review of a vehicle you have never even seen, sat in, or driven yourself! Just doesn't make any sense. Usually I bite my tongue. Just sometimes I need to call it out when it gets too ridiculous.
I said that because he was never even in most of the situations he is posting in. He always has SUCH A STRONG opinion, I would say ... the most EXTREME opinion of most posters and all of the "I would never ...." statements about things he has never even personally experienced. Nuts. Like you would give a review of a vehicle you have never even seen, sat in, or driven yourself! Just doesn't make any sense. Usually I bite my tongue. Just sometimes I need to call it out when it gets too ridiculous.
That was kind of my point. People saying that they've never done it or wouldn't and then they want to to tell you what's acceptable and what's not.
EXACTLY! I am kind of laughing here at some of the responses. Some people seems to be stuck in the old days acting like sharing their body with man is like giving him some special "gift" or something he has to earn (by committing to a relationship).
Unfortunately, I think that sentiment and similar along the same lines are still very much the common.
Its true. Cuddling releases oxytocin in men when they have an orgasm, but wears off sooner. Cuddling in women releases more oxytocin for a longer time and makes her feel love, as in a relationship, which leads to disappointment. If a man wants to just have sex he should just visit a prostitute and leave biology out of it. The above poster should just masturbate.
Last edited by BlackberryMerlot; 04-05-2018 at 05:18 PM..
EXACTLY! I am kind of laughing here at some of the responses. Some people seems to be stuck in the old days acting like sharing their body with man is like giving him some special "gift" or something he has to earn (by committing to a relationship). It's not 1950 anymore... we're allowed to not only have sex, but initiate, and enjoy it too. And.... he's not gaining any more " benefits " than she is.
Sounds like Jen ( and others do this too) agreed to a FWB with the "hope" of his coming around and eventually walking off into the sunset with him. That's where a lot of theses relationships go south. He doesn't come around and suddenly she's hurt and she's been "used"! ( or vice versa).
Catching feelings? Of course you're going to catch some feelings... you'd have to be a pretty cold hearted orb not to catch some feelings for someone you like and are intimate with. The trick is to be honest ( with him and
Yourself) in regards to your expectations and his and your reasons for entering into this type relationship.
As in "any" traditional relationships.... you take your chances. Just because a couple of people say "I love you" doesn't mean that they're going to live happily ever after.
I love men and get along well with them, but finding Mr Right is pretty far down the list of my priorities at this point in my life. YMMV.
I don't know if this was directed at me but my comments were based on the fact hat she was unhappy and is longing for more. Yeah, she's getting sex but it ain't sounding like she's fulfilled. That was why I said my "earning" type of comments. This guy is getting all of the benefits of a GF yet she's not get any other than sex? Hardly seems fair to me. If a woman is happy just having sex only with no commitment or expectations of exclusivity then fine, ain't getting any 1950's attitude from me.
I don't know if this was directed at me but my comments were based on the fact hat she was unhappy and is longing for more. Yeah, she's getting sex but it ain't sounding like she's fulfilled. That was why I said my "earning" type of comments. This guy is getting all of the benefits of a GF yet she's not get any other than sex? Hardly seems fair to me. If a woman is happy just having sex only with no commitment or expectations of exclusivity then fine, ain't getting any 1950's attitude from me.
No dude.... it's not all about you.
But she did say that she told him that she wanted more, but he baulked at the idea. So if she continued ( in hopes that he'd come around and he didn't) ... she had the choice of moving on or
to continue along as usual. It sounds like he was being honest as to his intentions at the time. My comment about earning was more directed at another post by a female.
If she was feeling unfulfilled I am wondering why she just didn't cut bait... rather than continuing to have sex or rub his back or what have you... unless of course, she thought she could change his mind by using sex or back rubs or whatever.
Last edited by Sydney123; 04-05-2018 at 05:39 PM..
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