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My only question is where are all the dudes that cant conceive a reality outside of their own on this thread? I fully expected a bunch of dudes to troll it saying hook up culture doesn't exist because since they couldn't do it, it must not exist.
To me, if what you're doing works for you, great! But my takeaway was that the writer is a 20-something and is seeing people's dissatisfaction around her with the dating scene, and pointing out what she believes may be causes of it.
The article really isn't that out there, nor inflammatory. It's not outdated or too formal to actually ask someone out directly, to do something specific at a specific time. If you can't find anyone to maybe sort of hang with sometime, try asking for what you actually want, so the person you're interested in actually knows you're interested.
Like I said, if being ambiguous works, by all means, have at it! But considering that group or non-dating is a newer phenomena, and there seems some angst with it, tells me it's not better than the way dating used to be 15 years ago. It's not about going back to the good ol' days, but it's not that dating broke and needed to be fixed either. It's evolved, and not all of it is for the better. If you never dated "the other way" you can't compare, but I wouldn't trade dating the way I did 20 years ago for the way it is now.
I guess. I hear that on here, but I really don't see it. My ladyfriend goes to NY posts she's in town on FB a multiple guys try to get with her from her past and multiple guys she never met hit on her that night. She went camping with a female friend in VT and to a swim race, multiple guys hit on her at the after party. It seems one of the number one complaints my lady friends have about going out is that they can't not get hit on.
You must know how to pick 'em! I've dated women who said the last time anyone hit on them was years before. But some of these ladies aren't the partying type, so that must play a role. And some don't have FB, or they've only been in town a couple of years, so there's no one local from their past to FB 'em. Women's situations vary. If they're new in town, it can take a long time to get to know people and get a circle of friends to build from. If you're a real babe, that comes easy. If you're not, it can take a lot longer. In some cities they might strike out altogether, and have to move on, and try someplace else. I've heard all kinds of stories like that from women.
I guess. I hear that on here, but I really don't see it. My ladyfriend goes to NY posts she's in town on FB a multiple guys try to get with her from her past and multiple guys she never met hit on her that night. She went camping with a female friend in VT and to a swim race, multiple guys hit on her at the after party. It seems one of the number one complaints my lady friends have about going out is that they can't not get hit on.
Complain when they aren't getting attention from men, then complain that they can't find a guy.
The author is a blogger for POF... A site that promotes "dating".
The author takes the socially inept into consideration, but then completely alienates them by telling them to man or woman up. It's your fault!
She basically blames men for most of the problems, but she does give a line or so about women should be proactive and do the asking.
She puts more stock in a pay date, than a casual " let's get together and do something'. She gives the guy who takes her out and buys her dinner 10,000 points.
There's more, but I would suggest that some of you who are woot wooting this re-read and think some more.
The author is a blogger for POF... A site that promotes "dating".
The author takes the socially inept into consideration, but then completely alienates them by telling them to man or woman up. It's your fault!
She basically blames men for most of the problems, but she does give a line or so about women should be proactive and do the asking.
She puts more stock in a pay date, than a casual " let's get together and do something'. She gives the guy who takes her out and buys her dinner 10,000 points.
There's more, but I would suggest that some of you who are woot wooting this re-read and think some more.
Thanks for pointing that out. I didn't read it as preference for a pay date, just preference for a date invitation that gives a specific activity, rather than something very vague. Time to go back and re-read.
wait, are we discussing an article that said THIS??:
As for the women out there: Let’s drop the delusion that a series of hookups will hook a boyfriend, and instead hold off on sex until a commitment has been made
wait, are we discussing an article that said THIS??:
As for the women out there: Let’s drop the delusion that a series of hookups will hook a boyfriend, and instead hold off on sex until a commitment has been made
WTF
I think she meant, a commitment to date just one person, vs. hanging out with a number of women at the same time.
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