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Old 08-14-2014, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
1,474 posts, read 1,776,775 times
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"There was a Harvard study that proved that unmarried women are the happiest group in America. Married men are second, single men are third, and bringing up the rear as the unhappiest are married women."

I regret that I do not have a source for this, it was a statement made by someone on another forum. But I'm posting it here to open for discussion, because it resonates with me.

I was once a married woman and have never been more miserable in my life.

I am now a single woman and while life is still replete with struggles, I definitely feel much more free and alive than I ever have before.

My ex husband was shattered until he found a new wife, and his happiness ranks right up there, second to happiest compared to me right now.

Another example, when my mom divorced my dad, my mom was very happy. My dad was suicidal.

Sad stuff.

But that "Harvard study" quote falls right into line according to my life experience.

What do you think of that "Harvard study" quote?
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Old 08-14-2014, 08:38 AM
 
Location: D.C.
2,903 posts, read 1,904,379 times
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I always laugh when I see statistics like these which are often misleading. I'd be curious to know the sample size and other variables they use for this "study". I know several married men that are not happy at all. They stay married because they do not want to have to pay alimony and potentially lose a lot of their money. Personally, I'm in my late thirties and never married and I couldn't be happier. Would it be nice to have someone to share things with? Sure. But I've always gotten as much enjoyment doing things on my own, and I have a lot of hobbies and activities I enjoy. I am not interested in having kids (never have been), so for that reason I've never really felt a huge need to be "officially" married.
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Old 08-14-2014, 08:41 AM
 
364 posts, read 298,320 times
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Eh. I'm happiest when I'm single. Being tied down makes me miserable as a guy.

I suspect all the mid thirties divorced spinsters need to tell the world how happy they are just to convince themselves.

I have a hard time taking studies like this seriously.
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Old 08-14-2014, 08:45 AM
 
Location: southern california
57,207 posts, read 76,205,666 times
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men llove being married. women love getting married.
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Old 08-14-2014, 08:56 AM
 
5,121 posts, read 5,716,786 times
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When I was married, I was miserable. Of course, a lot of that had to do with the nature of my marriage (as I've mentioned before, my ex was closeted gay). So there was no sex (except to make a child, and then all sex stopped) and I got the joy of working full time and being a full time housewife. I worked 40-50 hours a week, came home cooked, cleaned, took care of our child and even did the yard work and home repairs because my ex was never home (he was out on "business"). With all that I had to do, I got 6 hours of sleep a night, felt like I was working non-stop and was run down and miserable. I felt like an indentured servant.

Now I am single again and much, much happier. While I still have to work, I don't have to work as much (no husband pressuring me to bring home more money) and while I still have house and yard work, I am not cleaning up after another adult anymore and I was able to downgrade to a much smaller (and easier to manage house. My ex loved "keeping up with the Jones" so we had a huge house before in the "right" neighborhood). And I have complete freedom. If I want to go on a vacation, I can go! If I want to eat meat for dinner, I can (ex is vegan now). If I want to sleep in on a Saturday, I can!

I don't give a rats behind what the world thinks of me... I have nothing to prove to anyone. I can guarantee that I am happier now.

Of course, that's not to say that with the right man (one who actually loves me and doesn't use me as a maid service) I wouldn't be even happier. I might be, I don't know. I've never experienced it. But I can look around and see that my parents were happy and so were my grandparents. And my brother and his wife are like newly weds still. But right now, marriage isn't even on my radar anymore. It's why dating is so hard for me... I keep meeting men who want to re-marry (I mostly date divorced men since most people my age are married or divorced).

EDIT: I have to wonder, in these polls... are they asking all single women (including those who are divorced?) Because honestly, women like me who were in bad marriages and are now "free" would probably skew the poll. It would be best to separate the "never married" and the "divorced" just to compare).
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Old 08-14-2014, 09:13 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
23,314 posts, read 22,550,301 times
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I have seen studies indicating that married people are happier than single people, both men and women, so who knows about studies of such an obscure nature. Studies with actual measurable numbers indicate that almost twice as many men remarry than do women so it would seem that unmarried women are happier and married men are happier. As far as antidotal evidence, I know way more single women that were widowed/divorced than men. Most men whose marriages ended hooked up again pretty quickly.
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Old 08-14-2014, 09:15 AM
 
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Link?
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Old 08-14-2014, 09:16 AM
 
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I bet cohabitating, unmarried couples would rate the highest overall in happiness for both genders.
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Old 08-14-2014, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
23,314 posts, read 22,550,301 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Link?
Schneider, D., Sledge, P., Shuchter, S., & Zisook, S. (1996). Dating and Remarriage over the First Two Years of Widowhood. Annals of Clinical Psychiatry, 8, 51-57.

And Census data. Other various studies I have read indicate men remarry at a higher rate than do women but I don't keep all the links tucked in my bag.

Do you disagree?
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Old 08-14-2014, 09:50 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
23,314 posts, read 22,550,301 times
Reputation: 22662
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
I bet cohabitating, unmarried couples would rate the highest overall in happiness for both genders.
IDK. Is cohabitating really much different than being married?

I agree much of the happiness and indications that men remarry more often is based on the fact that women, in addition to working, do the majority of all domestic duties and when the marriage dissolves her load is cut significantly where his increase.
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