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I am a 34 (soon to be 35) year old professional woman (divorced, no children) who has recently begun a relationship with a 75 year old gentleman. It is also long distance as I live in Boston and he is in Philadelphia.
We met at a group dinner last fall (he was my 40-year-old brother's realtor from years ago and they became great friends) and sparks flew; however nothing happened until a week ago when I called him to consult about a recent real estate transaction and he declared that he thought I was a beautiful woman. I thanked him but told him a relationship was impossible, then changed my mind the next day.
I have no desire to have children and am decidedly not after his money; in fact, I believe I probably have larger investments than he does based on our recent conversations.
He is incredibly handsome, fit, an avid sailor. He can cook, sing...we both love the same music, and our conversations last for hours. Merely hearing the sound of his voice arouses me.
Tomorrow I am returning to Philly to visit family and he has planned a midnight champagne picnic for us--what is ostensibly our first date! No, I have not told my brother. I think he would be horrified.
Either I cancel now or finish this journey; the man is smitten and I don't want to break his heart.
My ex-husband was 28 years my senior and I swore I'd never date anyone more than 10 years older, yet here I am. I am attracted to older men, but not exclusively; many have a depth that is not often found in younger men.
If those are your feelings? Why fight them? Of course be prepared for people to give looks or make comments about you and him. For Ex: he just a horny old man who should find someone his own age and you want his money (despite what you have told us about your finances beign better than his) but love should be able to triumph about that.
the first question i would ask you is, do you think he can make you happy? the second question is can you make him happy?(that answer should be obvious). if you answer in the affirmative, then what is the problem? in the end you have to do what you feel is right for you, and if this feels right, then go for it. just because there is snow on the roof does not mean there is no fire in the fireplace.
You're a 34 year old adult woman and can do what she wants.
I've known some guys like that - in their 70s - still really fit, active and handsome for their age, really look like they're around 60-62.
One word of warning - time catches up with everyone and around 80 or thereafter he will start to fall apart and his activity level will decrease dramatically.
I had an aunt who got into a relationship like this - she was around 50, he mid 70s. They had a few great years, travelled the world and all kinds of cool stuff. After he turned 80 he was still pretty active but the kind of athletic stuff he did in his 70s - playing tennis most notably - had to stop. They were still active though - he could walk as far as he wanted, etc... and he still looked good. Then one day when he was 83, BAM! Heart attack hit him and he was dead in an hour. She went on living for decades.
I've known men like this, who have so much energy and vitality they don't appear to be that age at all! Not only that but they have a lifetime of experience to add to their charm.
However, you may consider that no matter how 'old' a man is, he may still be playing the games he played at a much younger age. Just because someone is older doesn't give them a free pass on having integrity and character.
Just like dealing with someone much younger, keep a level head and take as much time as you need in order to know for yourself if he meets your requirements.
If you genuinely have fallen for each other then I think that's sweet. Just enjoy the attention, and try not to be annoyed at other peoples' staring, or their comments at times " Oh you're here with your father, how nice, is it a special occasion?"
My second husband was almost 20 years older than me, and, had aspects to his looks which made him look older. But, that didn't stop me from loving him or spending the years I did with him. But, what ended it was that he had behavior and mental issues that made staying together impossible...although I gave it everything I had. So, that's why I advise you to remember to put the same effort into getting to know him as you would anyone else you might be interested in no matter their age.
I am a 34 (soon to be 35) year old professional woman (divorced, no children) who has recently begun a relationship with a 75 year old gentleman. It is also long distance as I live in Boston and he is in Philadelphia.
We met at a group dinner last fall (he was my 40-year-old brother's realtor from years ago and they became great friends) and sparks flew; however nothing happened until a week ago when I called him to consult about a recent real estate transaction and he declared that he thought I was a beautiful woman. I thanked him but told him a relationship was impossible, then changed my mind the next day.
I have no desire to have children and am decidedly not after his money; in fact, I believe I probably have larger investments than he does based on our recent conversations.
He is incredibly handsome, fit, an avid sailor. He can cook, sing...we both love the same music, and our conversations last for hours. Merely hearing the sound of his voice arouses me.
Tomorrow I am returning to Philly to visit family and he has planned a midnight champagne picnic for us--what is ostensibly our first date! No, I have not told my brother. I think he would be horrified.
Either I cancel now or finish this journey; the man is smitten and I don't want to break his heart.
My ex-husband was 28 years my senior and I swore I'd never date anyone more than 10 years older, yet here I am. I am attracted to older men, but not exclusively; many have a depth that is not often found in younger men.
I could not imagine what a 34 year old and a 75 year old have in common.
If you are an inactive couch potato with hobbies like poems, movies, musical instruments, and reading, it can work.
if you are an active person or like to have regular sex ... different story.
Do you really have no other options?
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