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Ok, just started back at the on-line dating scene. This will sound cold, but there's a guy who 'looks good on paper'- successful, well traveled. He lives in another state and is 8 yrs older (I am 54). Frankly, I like the idea of getting together for fun trips etc...but have been on my own for a long time, and not sure I really want a 'relationship' - so the distance kind of works. I have trouble with committment and don't want to feel trapped, but would enjoy the company of someone special now and then (travel mostly). There's another guy - opposite end of the spectrum; teacher, more fishing than yachting if you know what I mean. He seems nice, genuine and outdoorsy. My question is: how can I be attracted to 2 such different men/lifestyles? I re-read this an see how shallow it sounds, but I'm sincerely wondering what I'm afraid of; I spend most of my time alone - other than with girlfriends, yoga, work etc...thanks for your opinions!
It's not trashy, per se. I like lots of different "types" also.
It sounds like you just don't want to commit to anyone. As long as the other person knows that also and is ok with it and you aren't USING him, dating for companionship and fun is fine.
I think the problem you're gonna have is that I think a lot of older men have a tendency to want a woman more than a woman wants him, at least time wise I'm talking about here.
Ok, just started back at the on-line dating scene. This will sound cold, but there's a guy who 'looks good on paper'- successful, well traveled. He lives in another state and is 8 yrs older (I am 54). Frankly, I like the idea of getting together for fun trips etc...but have been on my own for a long time, and not sure I really want a 'relationship' - so the distance kind of works. I have trouble with committment and don't want to feel trapped, but would enjoy the company of someone special now and then (travel mostly). There's another guy - opposite end of the spectrum; teacher, more fishing than yachting if you know what I mean. He seems nice, genuine and outdoorsy. My question is: how can I be attracted to 2 such different men/lifestyles? I re-read this an see how shallow it sounds, but I'm sincerely wondering what I'm afraid of; I spend most of my time alone - other than with girlfriends, yoga, work etc...thanks for your opinions!
Thanks for your responses. I agree I just need to be honest about what I'm looking for. It seems sometimes older men want to be taken care of, and younger men want to see what they can get and continue to 'trade up' no?
Ok, just started back at the on-line dating scene. This will sound cold, but there's a guy who 'looks good on paper'- successful, well traveled. He lives in another state and is 8 yrs older (I am 54). Frankly, I like the idea of getting together for fun trips etc...but have been on my own for a long time, and not sure I really want a 'relationship' - so the distance kind of works. I have trouble with committment and don't want to feel trapped, but would enjoy the company of someone special now and then (travel mostly). There's another guy - opposite end of the spectrum; teacher, more fishing than yachting if you know what I mean. He seems nice, genuine and outdoorsy. My question is: how can I be attracted to 2 such different men/lifestyles? I re-read this an see how shallow it sounds, but I'm sincerely wondering what I'm afraid of; I spend most of my time alone - other than with girlfriends, yoga, work etc...thanks for your opinions!
It's easy to be attracted to two very different types of men. It's not that uncommon, either.
Nothing sounds remotely "trashy" to me. Not the situation. The men. Or you.
Meet each of them. See how you feel. Your post sounds refreshingly honest.
Have fun and continue the honesty. That way, no one will be hurt. Including you.
IMO , it only becomes Trashy if you were to lie to both of them, tell them they are the only person you are seeing and keep both on the hook.
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