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One guy graduated in 1978 which makes him roughly 12 years older than me: 58. The other graduated in 1975 which makes him 15 years older than me: 61. Seriously? (Gotta admit, he does NOT look 61)
but I'm looking for a life partner here, and I figure I've got a good 40 more years left in me. Don't want to be with a guy who is going to kick it at 75 and leave me alone again! (although I do realize that the odds aren't in my favor since men die younger than women anyway)
You might be aging these guys. If someone was 18 in 1978 they would be 54 today. The 1975 grad should be 57. Unless you meant the year they graduated college? If not, your math is wrong.
My parents were the exact same age - their birthdays were one month apart.
My dad got cancer in his 60s and died at 70. My mom has 10-20 years left at least.
My grandparents on my mom's side were similar - My grandmother was 2 years younger than my grandfather and she actually died before him (this was due to work related health problems though)
The point is, someone your own age is not guaranteed to outlive you.
You might be aging these guys. If someone was 18 in 1978 they would be 54 today. The 1975 grad should be 57. Unless you meant the year they graduated college? If not, your math is wrong.
Uh, yes, it was college.
Got another match today. Very nice good looking guy, kinda shy, we talked about living in the same city back in the day. He seemed refreshingly 'normal'. He belongs to a Scottish heritage social club and I'm going to Scotland next year.
BUT, none of these guys has emailed me yet, and I'll be DARNED if I contact them first! I guess it would be uncool of them to contact me right away. Maybe later in the week one will try to get a date for the weekend.
And what if they selected 10 girls and got 10 matches? How are they gonna date all those women at once So I might have to wait my turn.
Last edited by Stagemomma; 08-17-2014 at 07:10 PM..
BTW, i have to add that the whole dying first is not my only hesitation about dating older. To me, cultural literacy is a big piece of finding things to talk about. If a guy is 10+ years older than I am, he didn't have the same experiences I did. You'd think that would broaden the conversation, but I've read that finding those 'Me Too!' moments is a good way to solidify a relationship.
I've looked at profiles online where guys will say their favorite bands are groups that haven't topped a chart since the 70s. Really? You haven't found one band to like in the past 30 years? I listen to and enjoy lots of current music, and having to explain every little conversational reference gets old.
One of the things to miss about not having an LTR is that you don't have shared memories to build on. For example, When something reminds you of an event from the past, it's nice to make that comparison with someone who was there with you. When you are starting fresh in middle age, you need to have some commonalities to start with. I have noticed on dates with older men that an age gap just gives you fewer common experiences.
BTW, i have to add that the whole dying first is not my only hesitation about dating older. To me, cultural literacy is a big piece of finding things to talk about. If a guy is 10+ years older than I am, he didn't have the same experiences I did. You'd think that would broaden the conversation, but I've read that finding those 'Me Too!' moments is a good way to solidify a relationship.
I've looked at profiles online where guys will say their favorite bands are groups that haven't topped a chart since the 70s. Really? You haven't found one band to like in the past 30 years? I listen to and enjoy lots of current music, and having to explain every little conversational reference gets old.
One of the things to miss about not having an LTR is that you don't have shared memories to build on. For example, When something reminds you of an event from the past, it's nice to make that comparison with someone who was there with you. When you are starting fresh in middle age, you need to have some commonalities to start with. I have noticed on dates with older men that an age gap just gives you fewer common experiences.
I agree. I want to be with someone that shares similar experiences. I think when the age gap is too wide you don't get all the same cultural references.
I couldn't be with someone that didn't get my odd Seinfeld references or jokes.
It was funny as I was just reading about Ronnie Wood and married a woman a few yrs ago and she was 31 yrs younger than him.
That's just too much for me..... plus, I don't want to be that old dude with a young trophy wife, I think it's embarrassing looking... at least to me.
Last edited by Chowhound; 08-17-2014 at 07:32 PM..
BTW, i have to add that the whole dying first is not my only hesitation about dating older. To me, cultural literacy is a big piece of finding things to talk about. If a guy is 10+ years older than I am, he didn't have the same experiences I did. You'd think that would broaden the conversation, but I've read that finding those 'Me Too!' moments is a good way to solidify a relationship.
I've looked at profiles online where guys will say their favorite bands are groups that haven't topped a chart since the 70s. Really? You haven't found one band to like in the past 30 years? I listen to and enjoy lots of current music, and having to explain every little conversational reference gets old.
One of the things to miss about not having an LTR is that you don't have shared memories to build on. For example, When something reminds you of an event from the past, it's nice to make that comparison with someone who was there with you. When you are starting fresh in middle age, you need to have some commonalities to start with. I have noticed on dates with older men that an age gap just gives you fewer common experiences.
Men in general are rock music fans while women like a wider variety such as pop. When it comes to rock music specifically the 70s bands these guys grew up with are objectively better than the rock of recent decades (which isn't even that popular among younger people...it's just a niche now). So i totally understand their preferences and I speak as someone who keeps up with and likes a lot of recent music.
Agreed that rock music took a dive in the 80s and never really recovered.
What's considered "rock" now is more accurately alternative - since most "rock" bands from the 2000s-10s have roots in the 80s styles.
Quote:
I've looked at profiles online where guys will say their favorite bands are groups that haven't topped a chart since the 70s.
This is why I force myself to watch a youtube that plays snippets from the top 40 at least once every few months. I usually like what's on the adult contemporary charts which shows my age, but I cram that stuff in the hot 100 in so I can at least speak with some authority.
Shared music taste or at least familiarity is HUGE with women. Probably the most successful I ever am with women is if i can rattle some band names off that she likes. I'm not sure why that is.
I seem to have slightly better luck with speed dating than OLD.
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Originally Posted by redguard57
I expect the agency will charge again to get you in contact with the ones you circled yes.
You get the email addresses of your mutual matches and then it's up to the two of you to take it from there. There are no other fees other than the one you pay to attend the event (and if you order something to eat/drink from the venue where it's held).
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxLMG
Pardon as I am not familiar with the process but how does the process work ? You have several mini dates for 5 minutes, have a scorecard then what happens ? Do you do something with the card or is it for your own reference ? I've heard of speed dating but I have not met anyone who has done it before
The score card is for your reference so you can jot down a couple of notes about the person so you can remember who is who at the end of the night. Some companies have you turn them in at the end of it; others you have to go back to the website you signed up with and mark yes and no yourself. At the last one I went to, I was surprised how many people didn't know they had to complete this step even though it said it on the score card and the event host told us that at the beginning.
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Originally Posted by NilaJones
And I like STEM folks the best -- some people automatically rule them out .
That's pretty much all I met at the last one.
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Originally Posted by Stagemomma
So.....................now I have their emails, and they have mine, I'm assuming I'm going to wait until the GENTLEMAN contacts me first????? Right?????
Here it's not uncommon for matches to never actually contact each other after getting each other's email addresses. I've done it now 3 times and have only met one person who had more than a couple of dates with one of his matches.
I'm wondering; how does one find speed-dating events?
Several companies here advertise through Meetup, so you could do a search on their site. There are currently 4 here that I know of but only one that has a good reputation, and that is a couple called Date Switch. Check out their website-they have events in several cities across the country.
With this company, if you mark "no" to everyone you meet, they will give you a pass to try it again for free. I currently have a pass with them and am waiting for the 32-49 age range to come back around. It's the one they do the least frequently and will probably do next month when I'm out of the country.
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So I might have to wait my turn.
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