Suggestions for places to hang out at alone? (dating, movies, girlfriends)

[Caldus]

Hey all,

I am a 29 yr. old single male. I live in a big city. I moved here a couple of years ago but still haven't made any friends. I have in the past but all of them have either gotten involved in relationships or stopped contacting for whatever reason (this is not what this thread is about by the way just to be clear). I have a ton of social anxiety so it's very difficult for me to meet people unless I meet them online. I never feel comfortable at bars or clubs. It seems like there aren't a lot of places you can go to alone without the possibility of getting the weird looks from other people and feeling like a creep. Sometimes, it would just be really nice to be able to go somewhere alone but yet be around people and not feel so trapped at home all of the time if that makes any sense. Some things I have done in the past include:

- Going to the beach (I live right next to one)
- Going to festivals
- Going to museums
- Going to an arcade type place like Dave and Buster's
- Going to a Barnes and Noble
- Going to Starbucks

In these places, I can easily blend in with the crowd and not feel so self-conscious or have social anxiety attacks about it. Anyone have any other suggestions? Do you ever do this sort of thing? What types of places do you go to?

[lilyflower3191981]

Originally Posted by Caldus

- Going to the beach (I live right next to one)
- Going to festivals
- Going to museums
- Going to an arcade type place like Dave and Buster's
- Going to a Barnes and Noble
- Going to Starbucks

These all sound pretty good. I do all these with friends or alone. How about movies? You can watch a movie or two alone as well.

I recently broke my leg so I have to change a lot of plans. I have to rely on friends and families to move me around. I go to the beach and draw people's portraits to entertain myself again. I have absolutely zero social life right now, so I am here on city data a lot.

When my legs are getting better, I will move to a foreign country for at least months. I will hit the club and the bars.

Not interested in dating. I am just taking things slow and enjoying some alone time.

I like to drive, and enjoy all types of water sports. (when I can move freely)

You live by the beach, Barefoot skiing is my favorite sports, maybe you can try that alone or with somebody else.

The most important thing is having fun. Good luck.

[redhead360]

Depends really on your interests. Even though I have no right to tell you how to live your life, I would see if you can look into tackling your anxiety and stress. Because I dealt with the same thing over time. I would see if you can find a program that helps people like you, but a few things that come up is taking walks in the park or beach. I love the park because I can write, I also live in the big city, but people tend to be more focused on themselves than complete strangers. Good luck and I hope you feel better!

[Stagemomma]

public library! No one thinks twice if you are alone, and you can hang out for hours.

[dr.frog]

When I lived in Boston, I liked to walk around different neighborhoods, through the parks, stopping in at interesting bookshops or ethnic food stores, etc. I also enjoyed going ice skating, and took a few classes at the Boston Center for Adult Education.

As a long-time single person I basically do everything alone and have never been aware of weird looks or being treated like a creep; I wonder if you're imagining that, or at least exaggerating it. So what if somebody looks at you funny? Are you going to let even the *possibility* that somebody might look at you funny stop you from doing something you want to do?

[magpiehere]

any kind of art stuff. Chicago must be loaded with a local art scene. The beauty too - you see the same ppl all the time and you all get to know each other.

I can show up anywhere really in my town if it is a local art event, enjoy myself, and likely run into ppl I am acquainted with. I stopped even making plans with others to go it was easy just to run into others.

festivals is a great one, glad you found it.

[redguard57]

- Going to the beach (I live right next to one)
- Going to festivals
- Going to museums
- Going to an arcade type place like Dave and Buster's
- Going to a Barnes and Noble
- Going to Starbucks

I do all of these, although I'll prioritize a local coffee shop & bookstore over Starbucks or B&N. Someone else mentioned public libraries, which I also endorse.

I'll add: hiking trails, sports bars, city or county parks, live music show, theatre, movie theater. If I'm alone I try to see plays either Thursday night or Sunday afternoons, movies any time except Friday/Saturday night. It it's something I really want to see I'll say f*** it and go solo on a Friday or Saturday night - I'm not going to miss a band, performance or art show or something that I've been looking forward to because a flaky girl won't agree to go with me. That said, I try to arrange that on weeknights or Sunday matinees if at all possible. Friday/Saturday nights are for lovers and it just makes me more self-conscious.

Be happy that you're in a big city. I live in a small town so I don't even have all these things in close proximity and it sucks.

I have in the past but all of them have either gotten involved in relationships or stopped contacting for whatever reason

Whereever you go, there you are. This happens everywhere, to everyone.

[rbohm]

go to a sports bar. you have a reason to go if your team is playing, so no one will look at you funny. it also lets you engage others with a similar interest, presumably everyone there is a fan of the sport or team that is playing. this way when you interact with others, it isnt weird.

[usamathman]

live music spots, church, fitness center/gym, movie theater.

[remoddahouse]

Join some activities or sports teams. Hang out with some guys who have girlfriends. Show their girlfriends that you're not a douche and want a relationship. Those ladies will take care of things for you.