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Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,148,041 times
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She did write something that made me skeptical as well. But, I didnt move on it when it happened, and she didnt follow it up.
She's obviously a kid, and not ready for a marriage yet. The good thing about that is the only person she has to learn from is this guy, and so far, he's teaching her how to act when she is out with someone. Too bad he didnt remind her to control her drinking as well.
At any rate, realizing it or not, she has learned something. She may not be of the maturity level to apply it immediately or effectively. But, she has the information going forward.
So what if she didnt? She once meant enough to him for an engagement. Its hard to imagine that someone could love you enough to want you to be the mother of their children one minute, and because of this mistake, simple turn that off.
She wants him back, she said so. I dont see any deceit in that well stated idea.
Forgiveness is a big part of long-standing relationships. Maybe not be able to totally forget, but to be able to forgive, and grow beyond the dilemma at hand. Love each other enough to want to invest the time and trouble.
If they arent both eventually coming to that kind of loving ability, he did them both a favor by breaking it off. It wasnt meant to be. They are both still on a journey and passing time.
It is not hard to imagine that at all and weddings have been called off for much more trivial things but this
incident is not trivial by any stretch of the imagination.
She intentionally danced that way with her boyfriend's friend, in a club, in front of a cheering crowd and him.
Why did she doe this? Her words were "So Kevin would come and stop it and FIGHT for me".
Of course she wants him back but I don't think it is because she learned her lesson and is sincere in her remorse. I think after reading follow up posts from her, getting him back is now a "victory" of sorts and has nothing to do with actually loving and caring for this man.
Forgiveness can be a good thing however, one can forgive transgressions and still walk away.
In this case I believe that would be the best thing for him to do.
How many men in this world have gone out, blacked out, and woke up with an ugly chick - or worse?? How much of that is intentional?
"Blame it on the alcohol" was said as a joke, but theres some truth to it nonetheless.
He has a right to do anything he wants in response to it. But when an engagement is envolved, you would think both parties would be willing to work harder at smoothing out such wrinkles. Life throws you road blocks all the time, if you react punitively to all of them, you better become comfortable with being alone.
I prefer being alone than being with someone I cannot and do not trust.
The trade off is much better than the stress of being out on a Navy Seal Mission and not doing one's job properly and putting their team mates lives in jeopardy simply because he is wondering who she is out "dancing" with that night.
No one "jokes" about blaming alcohol, it is a timeless excuse for one's actions that they do not want to admit were completely inappropriate.
The most honest people on this earth when it comes to words, deeds and actions are those who are
alcohol induced, drug induced, very old or very young. They have no filters and lowered inhibitions and will show you or tell you the truth with their words and actions.
She did write something that made me skeptical as well. But, I didnt move on it when it happened, and she didnt follow it up.
She's obviously a kid, and not ready for a marriage yet. The good thing about that is the only person she has to learn from is this guy, and so far, he's teaching her how to act when she is out with someone. Too bad he didn't remind her to control her drinking as well.
At any rate, realizing it or not, she has learned something. She may not be of the maturity level to apply it immediately or effectively. But, she has the information going forward.
She is not a kid, she should not have to be "reminded" to control her drinking.
Do you have to be "reminded" to control your drinking while out in public or anywhere for that matter?
I don't have to be reminded because I am a mature woman who knows her limits and does not cross that line.
From her own words she knows her limits as well yet chose to cross that line and the end result is what has been posted throughout this thread.
I agree she has learned something, she has learned to take the advice given to her here and manipulate it into a good enough to perhaps make him believe she actually does care and is remorseful tear filled sob story.
You are completely ignoring the fact that early on she admitted that she did what she did specifically for
"Kevin to come and fight for me". She knew what she was doing and no matter how much she wants to blame the alcohol, her admitting the reason she did what she did should be enough to show that what she did was intentional and had nothing to do with drinking.
How many men in this world have gone out, blacked out, and woke up with an ugly chick - or worse?? How much of that is intentional?
"Blame it on the alcohol" was said as a joke, but theres some truth to it nonetheless.
He has a right to do anything he wants in response to it. But when an engagement is envolved, you would think both parties would be willing to work harder at smoothing out such wrinkles. Life throws you road blocks all the time, if you react punitively to all of them, you better become comfortable with being alone.
There are smoothing out wrinkles and pushing beyond road blocks, and then there is just being naive. If anything, her actions were even more important because there was an engagement involved and it highlighted so many reasons why that engagement should no longer go ahead.
That was not just a wrinkle, it was an ancient skeleton that was discovered with their legs sticking up in the air after they went head first into the roadblock..
Are you saying I'm going to end up cheating on my fiance with his best friend?
Not going to happen, the two of them are like day and night Derek is your typical bad boy, I can't even stand being around him most of the time
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loves2Dance
yes I am, I think it did lower my inhibitions a little that night
drunk girl + typical bad boy = hook-up, sex, etc.
Don't get married. It looks like you still want to sow your oats. Nothing wrong with that but don't string along another person.
Also, don't blame the alcohol. Subconsciously, this is what you wanted.
"We both got lost in the music, people started cheering us on and we just kind of got caught up in the moment."
You two are engaged. So as he get closer to the date his nerves may be on edge and a woman bumping and grinding on his friend WHILE HE IS THERE might lead him to wonder if an interest or something else is present. If you did this in front of him he might think, what would you do if he wasn't there..........pull a Jaime Fox and Blame It On The Alcohol for your One Night Extravaganza? You were totally disrespectful and out of line and I understand his frustration. How would you feel if he was bumping and grinding all over your girlfriend drawing a crowd and cheers?
Your fiance will calm down but be aware alcohol is no excuse to disrespect someone in public. You two are in a relationship and you made him like a fool for being with you. Dance with his friend, cool. Bumping and grinding -No. Let alone when the crowd formed you could have shown some decency and concluded your dancing and returned to your fiance.
Sorry, shame on you. Your fiance should never have to question your loyalty or respect for him. Not to be harsh but that was not right.
wow. were you really bumping and grinding on his friend? smdh
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