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It has been around few years of my marriage,My wife is short tempered from the start, but recently from the past 3 months, she has taken her sarcasm, her anger, her temper to the next level by physically abusing me. She hits me, throws things at me, and always threatens me that she will call the cops and complain that i have been hitting her, though the fact is that it was she who was hitting me all the time. I get real scared. I was living in this threatened and scary environment with her.
Millions of times in the past years, she has threatened me that she wants divorce, that our relationship is not working out, and we have many incompatibilities in likes and dislikes and hobbies.
All of a sudden, to my shock one day she left me and she is living separate. I have pleaded and begged her to come back, but she refused.
I feel helpless and am in a hopeless situation, i feel i can easily slip into depression.
My first question is,
(1) can she still call the cops now, and file a false complaint against me: that i was physically abusing her, and thats the reason she left? And am i in any danger, can i be arrested based on these false reasons?
My second question is:
(2) She has been threatening for divorce for a long time now, and for many times. Can she file a divorce under the reason of physical abuse? If she can, would i be in any danger, can i be arrested because of that?
All of a sudden, to my shock one day she left me and she is living separate. I have pleaded and begged her to come back, but she refused.
I do not understand why would you want to go back into a situation that is physically violent? That is just asking for trouble, more violence, and eventually the cops and the hospital. I'm sorry I have not answered your questions yet but this just jumped out at me from your post.
If she has been hitting you, may want to seek a restraining order and then you at least have on legal record your side of the story that she has been violent towards you.
get a divorce immediately. you should be the one to file not her!
as long as she has no marks or bruises then i think youre safe from false accusations. don't worry so much. just take the intiative and file for divorce.
you dont want a woman like that so do it!
Men are the victims of domestic abuse also. You should seek counseling for that. And please be the one to file for divorce from your wife. No one should be under attack like you have been.
All of a sudden, to my shock one day she left me and she is living separate. I have pleaded and begged her to come back, but she refused.
I feel helpless and am in a hopeless situation, i feel i can easily slip into depression.
My first question is,
(1) can she still call the cops now, and file a false complaint against me: that i was physically abusing her, and thats the reason she left? And am i in any danger, can i be arrested based on these false reasons?
My second question is:
(2) She has been threatening for divorce for a long time now, and for many times. Can she file a divorce under the reason of physical abuse? If she can, would i be in any danger, can i be arrested because of that?
Thanks and best regards
1) Not really, her word agianst yours
2) Nope you can't be arrested for that, she can file for divorce under those conditions but she needs proof
My question would be : Why would you want her back? do you like being abused? When she hit on you , you should have called the police.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. You need to start a paper trail somewhere. Don't be quiet about the abuse you've been a victim of. Talk to people who have gone through divorce and obtain a reference to a good divorce attorney. Then ask him or her these questions. You need good legal representation and legal protection. Then seek out a therapist. You seem to think that you may fall into depression. If you do, it will cloud your thinking and decision making abilities. You need to get yourself help right now to talk out your victimization of abuse and the impending divorce. It sounds as if your wife has chipped away at your self-worth and self esteem, seeing that you want her back. If you were rationale and had more self respect right now, you would not want her back. As difficult as it is to see, her leaving you is a blessing. Move forward with getting yourself better and ending this abusive marriage.
It has been around few years of my marriage,My wife is short tempered from the start, but recently from the past 3 months, she has taken her sarcasm, her anger, her temper to the next level by physically abusing me. She hits me, throws things at me, and always threatens me that she will call the cops and complain that i have been hitting her, though the fact is that it was she who was hitting me all the time. I get real scared. I was living in this threatened and scary environment with her.
Millions of times in the past years, she has threatened me that she wants divorce, that our relationship is not working out, and we have many incompatibilities in likes and dislikes and hobbies.
All of a sudden, to my shock one day she left me and she is living separate. I have pleaded and begged her to come back, but she refused.
I feel helpless and am in a hopeless situation, i feel i can easily slip into depression.
My first question is,
(1) can she still call the cops now, and file a false complaint against me: that i was physically abusing her, and thats the reason she left? And am i in any danger, can i be arrested based on these false reasons?
My second question is:
(2) She has been threatening for divorce for a long time now, and for many times. Can she file a divorce under the reason of physical abuse? If she can, would i be in any danger, can i be arrested because of that?
Thanks and best regards
yes, I believe if you continue to try and see her, she can....and she can, depending on the state, file for a oh, I can't remember what it's called, but it means you cannot get within a certain amount of feet of her, anywhere?
why would you want to be married to someone who abuses you as such? What I mean is, her behavior is unacceptable.
I have a question...did you ever seek couseling....? the both of y ou????
Hun, why would you accept so little in your life....God and I mean this with the deepest part of my soul....no one, but no one deserves to be abused, and you, deserve to be happy? Why would you not think so?
There are some very deeply rooted problems here that I really believe it would be benifical for you to explore...with a counselor.....
Wishing you the very best that life has to offer, you deserve happiness, everyone does.....
In any case ... wow! On the legal issues, I might send you to the (legal) web site where I just sent someone else. It's called freeadvice ... you know, plus the www and the com. Then you click on a circle in the top right that says something about "forums".
You might want to ... try to get something filed with the police. Someone recently said, on a much different issue, the old maxim that the "best defense is a good offense" and so it might help if you had a police report on the books. Who knows. I just did this without filing charges. It may not help anything. Or it might.
I think the divorce issues will depend on your state. So the website I've recommended above can help you there. She wouldn't have any photos, hospital records, witnesses, etc., so she wouldn't have evidence, I presume, based on what you have said.
And yes, I agree that you shouldn't try to get back together with her! It's quite amazing that someone who has been physically abused would want to get back together, but these things do work in this way. If you hear enough times that you are worthless, you just assume this is all you will ever have. That's the grand design here. That's what the abusive person is counting on, that they will get you so low, that you will assume they are the best you will ever have, that you will fail at every level without them.
In any case ... wow! On the legal issues, I might send you to the (legal) web site where I just sent someone else. It's called freeadvice ... you know, plus the www and the com. Then you click on a circle in the top right that says something about "forums".
You might want to ... try to get something filed with the police. Someone recently said, on a much different issue, the old maxim that the "best defense is a good offense" and so it might help if you had a police report on the books. Who knows. I just did this without filing charges. It may not help anything. Or it might.
I think the divorce issues will depend on your state. So the website I've recommended above can help you there. She wouldn't have any photos, hospital records, witnesses, etc., so she wouldn't have evidence, I presume, based on what you have said.
And yes, I agree that you shouldn't try to get back together with her! It's quite amazing that someone who has been physically abused would want to get back together, but these things do work in this way. If you hear enough times that you are worthless, you just assume this is all you will ever have. That's the grand design here. That's what the abusive person is counting on, that they will get you so low, that you will assume they are the best you will ever have, that you will fail at every level without them.
yes, thanks so much, a restraining order.....
and I agree with you, totally, whole heart and soul....
I believe the first step in you having a better life, will be to get as far away from this woman as possible. I say you should just tell her straight out that she can have a divorce, but not under the pretense of a lie. She sounds mentally un-balanced to me, and these type of people can be dangerous because they are so unpredictable. If you lose some material items in the divorce proceedings, it will still be very much worth it to just get away from your abuser. Wouldn't you rather come home to peace and quietness than a nightmare of what you have described? I guess I might as well say I have to admire the way you've tried to make this impossible situation work. I could never live in that type of chaos. I would much rather live alone, than deal with this un-necessary junk. My feeling is that once you escape from this situation, you will one day look back and wonder why you allowed this to go on. As others have said, you could benefit from some counseling, to help you understand yourself better, and to better plan out your future. I say, STOP all this worry about the police and all, and just get yourself free!!
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