Chalk this up to things NOT to do to attract a mate (date, woman)
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I've recently been seeing this girl that currently lives out of state, but is trying to relocate to the state I live in. This was her plan prior to meeting me. Anyway, she seems nice enough, but she has been displaying some characteristics that are really starting to turn me away from her.
Clingy - It seems I get a new text from her every 20-30 minutes or so, mostly about non-essential stuff. A "Hey, how are you?" text once a day isn't bad. But I'm getting these throughout the day and I find it difficult to even keep up with her. I feel bad that I often skip or ignore some of her texts, but I've got a life to live.
Cringe-worthy - Some of the texts she sends me just make me cringe. She comes across as extremely desperate and needy. She sends me compliments, but in a way that makes me feel uneasy and suffocated (think Overly Attached GF meme; Google it). She also asks me some pretty deep questions that I find way too personal or serious to address at this point in our relationship. I often try to deflect such questions or avoid answering them altogether.
Intrusive - She's been trying to relocate to the state I live in for the past few months. Apparently her friends and family have all but abandoned helping her out with the move. Now she is trying to lean heavily on me, as in allowing her to stay at my apartment, allowing her to bring her dog to stay at my apartment, etc. On top of it, she's unloading all this drama on to me and I barely know her. I find that really peculiar and unattractive.
I'm a nice guy (generally empathetic) and I really feel for this girl. But my mindset towards her has changed from one of affection to one of pity and sorrow. I feel like I'm going to have to wean off her slowly and cut ties with her, because it's really making me feel uneasy at this point.
Anyway, just a heads up, these are not appealing qualities to most people. If you find yourself doing this kinds of things to a potential mate, STOP IT! Honestly, before it's too late.
If someone texts you so much that you can't keep up with them, just tell them you're too busy to respond to so many texts. This issue has come up on this forum before. I don't understand why people can't tell the person to just dial it back. For all the texting people do these days, they don't seem to be able to communicate the important things, or communicate effectively.
Tell her polite you don't want to see her anymore. Being too clingy is not a crime last time I checked and she deserves to be dumped in a kinder way than just blocking her.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,715,076 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve
That would be an ahole move.
Tell her polite you don't want to see her anymore. Being too clingy is not a crime last time I checked and she deserves to be dumped in a kinder way than just blocking her.
You are right. OP send ONE text that states you are done with her, THEN block her.
We've been on a couple dates, one here and an entire weekend where she lives.
We've been communicating for about a month now.
Yeah, she is way to into you for that quick. The woman I am with told me she loved me on our first date in our 30s. However, we'd had a long history before that. When they start acting that way as quick as yours, I'd say its time to tell her you're seeing other people
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