Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
FWBs can mean different things to different people. It's not like this is an official term defined in a dictionary. The OP thought that it was more about casual sex than "friendship", and I would've thought the same thing. Considering how she was actively trying to meet her FWB for sex, he should have been happy instead of pouting and whining like a little boy. "Yeah, we just had sex but stop talking to me about sex!"
"Friends" has meaning, whether you like it or not. FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS.
A FB is something else.
Words have meaning. When you don't use them correctly, or try to communicate with people that don't know the definitions of words, miscommunications happen, and this is the result.
He was probably disingenuous in saying he was ok with FWB because he clearly is not. Like I said in your last thread on this guy, he got to sleep with you, and he probably assumed you would "fall" for him.
When you started trying to schedule sex, his ego got hurt.
But YOU have given VERY mixed messages.
I think timberline's post #21 is the most accurate for you.
I feel bad that I slept with him and increased my "number" for no reason. Like I really feel like to get closure on this I need to ask him why he agreed to be my fwb then changed his mind, especially knowing that wasn't what he wanted. I just feel tricked. :-( . I'm going to have to wait to get into a relationship before I sleep with anyone again but I feel like it was such a waste and I'm really embarassed by the situation altogether.
Does it really matter in the end why he changed his mind?
You where both aware of the situation going in and he encountered unforeseen issues in having this type of relationship with you.
Nobody "tricked" Anyone in to doing anything.
One of the things you have to be comfortable with doing the FWB thing isn't just the act. it's also being comfortable with both the positives AND negatives associated with the type of relationship it is.
Perhaps FWB isn't the most ideal thing for you to be participating in if you cannot handle the possibility of them going south.
Last edited by rego00123; 08-28-2014 at 07:24 AM..
Reason: Phone corrections
"Friends" has meaning, whether you like it or not. FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS.
A FB is something else.
Words have meaning. When you don't use them correctly, or try to communicate with people that don't know the definitions of words, miscommunications happen, and this is the result.
I don't see the point in debating slang sexual terms. Lots of people who say they would be open to FWB don't really take the "friends" part that seriously.
I feel bad that I slept with him and increased my "number" for no reason. Like I really feel like to get closure on this I need to ask him why he agreed to be my fwb then changed his mind, especially knowing that wasn't what he wanted. I just feel tricked. :-( . I'm going to have to wait to get into a relationship before I sleep with anyone again but I feel like it was such a waste and I'm really embarassed by the situation altogether.
You need closure?
You feel tricked?
You should leave the man alone, from what you have written he has been quite clear and humans are allowed to change their mind after they have made a decision.
Your embarrassment is of your own making and to keep yourself from being embarrassed in the future don't ask someone you want to continue to be a friend with to have sex with you by appointment.
I feel bad that I slept with him and increased my "number" for no reason. Like I really feel like to get closure on this I need to ask him why he agreed to be my fwb then changed his mind, especially knowing that wasn't what he wanted. I just feel tricked. :-( . I'm going to have to wait to get into a relationship before I sleep with anyone again but I feel like it was such a waste and I'm really embarassed by the situation altogether.
I think it's ok to try to get clarification from him, but don't beat yourself up about this. So your number of sex partners just increased to two! I hope the guys you date in the future will be able to handle such a sordid past...
I feel bad that I slept with him and increased my "number" for no reason. Like I really feel like to get closure on this I need to ask him why he agreed to be my fwb then changed his mind, especially knowing that wasn't what he wanted. I just feel tricked. :-( . I'm going to have to wait to get into a relationship before I sleep with anyone again but I feel like it was such a waste and I'm really embarassed by the situation altogether.
Don't worry about being embarassed, this happens to everyone. Hell, I've made a complete FOOL of myself time & time again trying to figure out wtf I'm doing lol, but I've always learned something from every situation I got myself into ..and out of! Mistakes are just a part of life. ((- and see! You are already thinking differently! Progress is acheived one step at a time! )) Nobody is born with it all figured out. If they tell you otherwise, they've only mastered the art of bullsh*tting
I feel bad that I slept with him and increased my "number" for no reason. Like I really feel like to get closure on this I need to ask him why he agreed to be my fwb then changed his mind, especially knowing that wasn't what he wanted. I just feel tricked. :-( . I'm going to have to wait to get into a relationship before I sleep with anyone again but I feel like it was such a waste and I'm really embarassed by the situation altogether.
I understand that you feel embarrassed, but I don't think you should dwell on that.
I think you have some unhealthy ideas about sexuality, including an issue with the number of partners and what that says about you.
Don't get stuck on worrying about whether you have too few partners or too many. Focus on developing a healthy attitude of acceptance about yourself and your sexuality. In your threads, I have seen you talk about your sexuality like a gift you want to wait to bestow upon just the right person, then almost within 24 hours you change your mind because of pent-up sexual frustration and decide you want to try a FWB.
Nothing wrong with either of those choices individually ^^^, but YOU have to decide what works for you while remembering there is another person involved.
I think taking a step back is a good thing. If you want to meet this dude to tell him this and get closure, fine. He sounds like he is pouting a bit, so don't fall into bed with him out of guilt.
Then seriously consider finding a PhD-level psychotherapist who can help you come to terms with your sexuality and figure out what you REALLY want.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
I don't see the point in debating slang sexual terms. Lots of people who say they would be open to FWB don't really take the "friends" part that seriously.
Friends is not a slang term.
And those people that don't take the friends part seriously are using the words incorrectly. Semantics matter. A lot.
Ignoring semantics, the definitions of words, the things we use to communicate, is why there is so much miscommunication.
And a huge LOL at "increased my number". Again, you're speaking and acting like a teenager and not an adult women, which by your years (and being a mother) you should be.
"Friends" has meaning, whether you like it or not. FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS.
A FB is something else.
Words have meaning. When you don't use them correctly, or try to communicate with people that don't know the definitions of words, miscommunications happen, and this is the result.
But his definition was essentially fb , just like mine. So though we used the term
Fwb, we both knew what it meant.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
