Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-31-2014, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,681,934 times
Reputation: 40199

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbiePoster View Post
Bogus thread. OP is just here to complain about gold-diggers. Been here, seen that. Moving on...
THANK YOU so much

I did mistake him for someone who really wanted advice and help Moving on....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-31-2014, 01:34 PM
 
Location: SC
8,793 posts, read 8,157,503 times
Reputation: 12992
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish View Post
How hard would it be for you to politely tell these women "We are not a good match, good luck in your search" and leave it at that?

No one likes to be rejected but if women are getting angry, perhaps it's in your delivery, eh?

Anyway, I suspect that the type of woman you are looking for would not be using online dating sites writing to random men.
So, let me get this clear...
  • If someone messages me. I should not say "How much money you owe?" Which of course I do not.
  • Instead I have a conversation, trying to get to know them, their life, their goals, and their situation. Of course no one you meet says "Yes, I am this, that, and I owe 50K to creditors." Instead they tell you all the good things about themselves.
  • So, the conversation goes back and forth for an hour or so, and you are finding out there is a lot to like about the person... Maybe this is the one.
  • You listen and respond, as the conversation goes forward, you tell these "potentials" about your immediate goals and ask them what theirs are. They may avoid the question, but...
  • ...eventually the conversation rolls back around to immediate goals... "You said you are ready to retire too? What are your plans?" The answer. "Oh. I can't retire now." You respond, "Oh. yes, I am retiring next month and I am looking for someone who is ready to go too." She responds... "But I'm ready to go."
So, is this the point where you tell them we are not a match... Or was it earlier in the conversation where you were trying to find out about the person who read your profile and messaged you? It is not as easy to let someone down as I think you want it to be. On the one hand, you can't read a checklist to someone and ask if they meet the "qualifications" before you try to learn anything about them. But on the other hand, if you take the time to get to know someone and then see that they are not the match you want, the reasons for rejection are obvious. They are same reasons that were listed in the original dating post. She gets mad, you loose anyway.

My only hope is this passive OL method will identify that one in a million. My exceptions are that it won't. I am pursuing other means of meeting people but there are issues no matter how you proceed.

But again, I did not post here because I was looking for what someone else thinks I said wrong at the wrong time - but to ask what people's general thought on the statistics are. It amazes me how many women want to assign blame to me when I said openly and honestly what I am looking for - yet another woman chose to ignore that and then get mad. C'est le vie.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-31-2014, 01:37 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,188 posts, read 107,790,902 times
Reputation: 116087
Most of us aren't assigning blame to you. We're saying you chose the wrong venue to meet your goals.

But you don't want any discussion of how to improve your chances. You're just here to complain, and ask people to pull numbers out of thin air. If statistics are so important to you, why not do some internet research?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-31-2014, 01:38 PM
 
Location: SC
8,793 posts, read 8,157,503 times
Reputation: 12992
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
How do you expect people to know the percentages? Is that a serious question?

The reason you're getting off-topic responses is that no one can know the percentages. So they're posting suggestions to try to help you. But I guess you don't want the help. So, you can ask a mod to close the thread, if you don't want any help. Because no one's going to give you an accurate percentage, just flippant estimates.

Or was the real intent of your OP simply to vent and complain? Honestly, we can't tell, now that you've made it clear you don't want help.

People live and they accumulate experiences, I asked out of curiosity what people think the percentages are. I was not looking for anyone to get out a slide rule - just give an guess. As to why I am getting the answers I am -- that's just CD standard.

Help? Don't really recall asking for help? Just was looking for an answer and thoughts on the subject in general.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-31-2014, 01:40 PM
 
Location: SC
8,793 posts, read 8,157,503 times
Reputation: 12992
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
I don't believe this has happened to you more than twice. However, I do believe you are fond of exaggeration and have a few problems relating to women as a gender.
Thanks Doc. You are wrong.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-31-2014, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,218 posts, read 100,681,934 times
Reputation: 40199
Quote:
Originally Posted by blktoptrvl View Post
So, let me get this clear...
  • If someone messages me. I should not say "How much money you owe?" Which of course I do not.
  • Instead I have a conversation, trying to get to know them, their life, their goals, and their situation. Of course no one you meet says "Yes, I am this, that, and I owe 50K to creditors." Instead they tell you all the good things about themselves.
  • So, the conversation goes back and forth for an hour or so, and you are finding out there is a lot to like about the person... Maybe this is the one.
  • You listen and respond, as the conversation goes forward, you tell these "potentials" about your immediate goals and ask them what theirs are. They may avoid the question, but...
  • ...eventually the conversation rolls back around to immediate goals... "You said you are ready to retire too? What are your plans?" The answer. "Oh. I can't retire now." You respond, "Oh. yes, I am retiring next month and I am looking for someone who is ready to go too." She responds... "But I'm ready to go."
So, is this the point where you tell them we are not a match... Or was it earlier in the conversation where you were trying to find out about the person who read your profile and messaged you? It is not as easy to let someone down as I think you want it to be. On the one hand, you can't read a checklist to someone and ask if they meet the "qualifications" before you try to learn anything about them. But on the other hand, if you take the time to get to know someone and then see that they are not the match you want, the reasons for rejection are obvious. They are same reasons that were listed in the original dating post. She gets mad, you loose anyway.

My only hope is this passive OL method will identify that one in a million. My exceptions are that it won't. I am pursuing other means of meeting people but there are issues no matter how you proceed.

But again, I did not post here because I was looking for what someone else thinks I said wrong at the wrong time - but to ask what people's general thought on the statistics are. It amazes me how many women want to assign blame to me when I said openly and honestly what I am looking for - yet another woman chose to ignore that and then get mad. C'est le vie.
And again, the statistic is important why?

You are wasting your time, and that of those here who truly wanted to help you.

You are like the person who's whole house is engulfed in fire and smoke and all you can say is, I wonder how many other people have had house fires?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-31-2014, 01:43 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,188 posts, read 107,790,902 times
Reputation: 116087
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
You are like the person who's whole house is engulfed in fire and smoke and all you can say is, I wonder how many other people have had house fires?
lol!
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbiePoster;
Bogus thread. OP is just here to complain about gold-diggers. Been here, seen that. Moving on...
OP, you've been outed!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-31-2014, 01:44 PM
 
Location: SC
8,793 posts, read 8,157,503 times
Reputation: 12992
Amazing!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-31-2014, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Denver and Boston
2,071 posts, read 2,208,790 times
Reputation: 3831
Quote:
Originally Posted by blktoptrvl View Post
My profile on an OLD site says I am about to retire and looking for someone in the same mindset and financial situation. But almost all the responses I get are from younger women (35-40) looking to hook up and take a free ride.
I suspect the 'responses' you are getting, and don't realize, are thinly veiled escort services. They spam new male OLD accounts.
In the real world I would put the number at less than 10%
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-31-2014, 01:50 PM
 
Location: SC
8,793 posts, read 8,157,503 times
Reputation: 12992
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog View Post
Realistic number? I don't think anyone could give you that? Honest opinion though? Probably most of the population on this planet would rather not work if they had the choice and could live happily.

Women can have opportunities to not work because they can have children and it can be financially better if she stayed home. Some women just don't want to work and will make it loud and clear to men that they do not want to work ever, and some women get there way.

Unless a man is involved with a woman who makes more money than he does, it is more unlikely that a man can afford to not work and stay at home. I do not know any man who can do this, but I know many women who can and all of them choose to do it.
Thanks, That's all I was looking for, just a round-about opinion or guestimate.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:47 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top