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Old 02-12-2008, 05:23 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,002 posts, read 17,826,238 times
Reputation: 18323

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Ok, L is doing crazy good in school. She has a social circle, a very good thing for her.

A, declinging, but starting to bring things up. Working on that. Both of them, my sweet little honies.

The teachers, had nothing but wonderful things to say about both of them..

Tonight, I am a little upset, over today, but I am going to spend the evening with them, knowing it is all worth it.

A tells l not to wear that shirt. It is a shirt that has gotten a bit tight on her now, he says I dont want people looking at my sister like that! I say good....

Last edited by Pikantari; 02-12-2008 at 05:59 PM..
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Old 02-12-2008, 05:37 PM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
11,283 posts, read 9,748,577 times
Reputation: 61323
Quote:
Originally Posted by cinderobyn View Post
Ok, L is doing crazy good in school. She has a social circel, a very good thing for her.

A, declinging, but starting to bring things up. Working on that. Both of them, my sweet little honies.

The teachers, had nothing but wonderful things to say about both of them..

Tonight, I am a little upset, over today, but I am going to spend the evening with them, knowing it is all worth it.

A tells l not to wear that shirt. It is a shirt that has gotten a bit tight on her now, he says I dont want people looking at my sister like that! I say good....
That is so cute, the big brother looking out for his little sister. LOL Don't wear a shirt that is too tight. Next he'll be telling her to button the shirt up to the collar!
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Old 02-12-2008, 07:33 PM
 
Location: Back in NYS
2,489 posts, read 5,514,202 times
Reputation: 2063
Robyn - I'm confused...which is nothing new, but.....didn't you say the agreement that was mediated or went to the judge with the support, etc. stated that you each would claim 1 child for taxes?

I find it interesting that TJ SAID he wanted to go to the parent-teacher conference - that was nothing more than a way for him to get to talk to you about his precious taxes and try to push your buttons - what a jerk. He couldn't push your buttons and get you to engage in an argument, so he left..unfortunately more proof that he's a lousy parent.

In any case, I think it's great that the kids are doing well in school and you had good feedback from the teachers. Hehehe....I can see where A will be looking out for his little sister....just wait til the boys start coming around...I can picture him grilling anyone who is interested in his little sister.....I always wanted a big brother!
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Old 02-12-2008, 08:09 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,002 posts, read 17,826,238 times
Reputation: 18323
That is not stipulated anywhere.

We agreed he would claim one, me the other.

Now... the separation agreement I have which is now void allowed him both kids in filing of taxes, as well as many other things he did nto deserve, but all I wanted to do really was have him quit threatening me with things, like he is taking the kids, and I allowed much more in the agreement.

Well, he wouldn't agree to it, and finally got a lawyer, Once my lawyer started dealing with his lawyer, she wanted a copy and I told him I wanted it retracted, because I did not feel the same about most anything in it. So it was, and a letter was sent to both he and his lawyer.

He never signed it. The mediation did not go into anything financial at all.

Neither did custody or visitation, only support.
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Old 02-12-2008, 09:17 PM
sun
 
Location: Central Connecticut
683 posts, read 1,529,887 times
Reputation: 437
Today's "Like Beating A Dead Horse" episode raises this question about X2B's overall behavior and attitude since the separation.

Has it:

a) gotten worse

b) stayed about the same

c) improved

Well, at least he's not calling you "Pretty" anymore, so at least that's some improvement!
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Old 02-13-2008, 04:35 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,002 posts, read 17,826,238 times
Reputation: 18323
Quote:
Originally Posted by sun View Post
Today's "Like Beating A Dead Horse" episode raises this question about X2B's overall behavior and attitude since the separation.

Has it:

a) gotten worse

b) stayed about the same

c) improved

Well, at least he's not calling you "Pretty" anymore, so at least that's some improvement!
This morning I can laugh about yesterday, and esp when I read this post. LOL

Yesterday, I was so not laughing. I went into my first and second teachers meetings teary eyed. I knew Alexander had not done well, on top of putting up with ib, and then it all just got the best of me.

And it did. Anger, frustration, the whole bit.

So about your multiple choice question.


I think his behavior is on the same level, if not a lower level. I think it has changed it's tone.

I think that he is probably talking to me how a bitter separated man talks to his wife. I can let out a little huff of a laugh this morning over it. I just had to ignore him yesterday.

He thinks he is right about ever dag on thing.

Forget this crap. I am out of here... about his kids parent teacher conference, and actually the first one he had ever been to... ever.

The thingthat bothered me just about the most yesterday, was him out there arguing with me, telling me he needs to claim the kdis for the whole year, and that he would have all of that straight by the time we go to court, and that he took them to all of their drs appts, school functions, all of that, forever.

I just stood there, not a peep. Shaking my head, wondering how many things he didn't realize that I did all of these years, like none of them happened, but only the very few that he did.

It was as though anything I ever did was cancelled out, and whatever he did was magnified.

I told him I am doing every single thing for them now, he is doing nothing.

He says he pays child support.

I laugh in my head.

He says I cover them under my health insurance... I say I pay all the co pays, cost of medicine, etc. He says the child support covers ALL of that. Then he says you are wrong, I pay for that.

I must interject at that point, I tell hi that the bit of money he pays pays for As food for the whole month. And then I said... and you know it.

Nothing else said about child support. Then it switches to taxes again. You are going to jail because I am claiming them both. I say I am going nowhere, I have already filed, and they have already accepted.

They will be calling you.

There are three cleaning ladies out there the whole dag on time. I am thinking if he had not left when he did, they may have took him down.

I think of the other day when I asked him if he could please take A to a drs appt in a couple weeks, and he says no. He cant, he would have to miss a days work, then he says but it isn't about the money, its about responsibility.

I told him he has no responsibility, and doesn't care about his kids.

If I had felt yesterday how I felt that day, I would have been wanting to just take him out myself.

Again, he wants me to take a day off to go see the IRS. I tell him that is ridiculous. I say you want ME to take a day off for the IRS, and YOU wont take a day off for your child. Crazy.

Good Morning. It is hump day. Yesterday was a good day up until seeing him, today will be better.

My kids are my good luck coffee charm.. It has been good coffee since they have been back home...
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Old 02-13-2008, 05:51 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,002 posts, read 17,826,238 times
Reputation: 18323
Default Do you remember this?

I posted a thread called A reason, a season, a life time.

It was an email that a friend of mine sent me. I went on to include who I thought fell under what category.

This came to mind this morning, as I was thinking about some things.

I feel that all people we encounter on a day to day basis fall somewhere into these categories.

We all come to one another with a reason. Then we stay for our allotted time.

It will be either a season or a lifetime.

So many of you were brought to me for a reason. So many of you filtered in, during what , so far, has been my greatest time of need.

You helped me along, with my trials, you made me realize I am not alone in these things, that you have been there too, or you were able to encourage me, give me comfort.

I feel I have been here for many as well. I will never know, on a day to day basis, exactly what for, or who for, but I know that I was and am currently driven to write about myself.

So, you all have been here for a reason, we have come together as a community, during my season. My season of pain. My season of necessity.

Now I am doing well, or well enough. You all are able to disperse now. Go away from here. Robyn is going to be just fine. You were sent for your reason, for the season.

There are some who I know will be withme for a lifetime. Probably about three or four. You will always be with me for a lifetime, in my heart. But there are some who I just think are meant to be with me for that last category of the lifetime.

For whatever reason those were brought to me, and me to them, it has gone past the reason, it has gone past the season, and it has journeyed into a lifetime.

Now I am in my lifetime stage. You all visit from time to time. I suppose checking in.

But there are some, that will be with me forever. No matter if it is by the hand of a letter, or by the voice of a phone, or even by a visit.

There are some, some that I suppose were sent to me for that reason, and in that season, and that maybe we will just journey to the next stage... a lifetime. Or maybe just a few seasons longer, one never knows....

I do know that I am thankful for whatever reason you all were brought to me, whether it be for something you saw in me, or something within yourselves.

Either way, we were here, and we all cared about eachother, and made a great group of friends, and helped one another... even helped people that we will not ever know their names.....

Truly, my hope in all of this. That we have helped some one out there, who can remain nameless to us, but has learned that there is hope there, and you can move on, that things will be ok. One day.

Last edited by Pikantari; 02-13-2008 at 06:26 AM..
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Old 02-13-2008, 06:26 AM
 
Location: In the sunshine on a ship with a plank
3,413 posts, read 5,938,108 times
Reputation: 2177
Robyn, since your taxes are filed and accepted, the burden of proof will be on HIM to prove that he's entitled to claim both kids. When he files with both of them the IRS will kick his return back and he will have to straighten things out. I watched this happen to someone close to me last year so I do know how it will go.

Since there is nothing legal stating that he gets both of them, the IRS will not get involved- and even if there were, they would tell him to work it out on his own. And if he does take legal action, since you only claimed one of the kids, it will be clear that you're not being greedy, you are only being fair.

And it is not your responsibility to provide him information that he wants or needs- he can get it from the IRS and you are not obligated to go to the office, discuss it or do anything about it without an order from the courts demanding that you do so.

Please add to your "list" the fact that he exploited a parent teacher conference as a means to harass and belittle you, rather than care about how his children are doing in school. And that he left when you wouldn't bend to his whims. His true colors continue to shine through vibrantly, don't they?

What a moron.
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Old 02-13-2008, 06:37 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,002 posts, read 17,826,238 times
Reputation: 18323
Quote:
Originally Posted by pirate girl View Post
Robyn, since your taxes are filed and accepted, the burden of proof will be on HIM to prove that he's entitled to claim both kids. When he files with both of them the IRS will kick his return back and he will have to straighten things out. I watched this happen to someone close to me last year so I do know how it will go.

Since there is nothing legal stating that he gets both of them, the IRS will not get involved- and even if there were, they would tell him to work it out on his own. And if he does take legal action, since you only claimed one of the kids, it will be clear that you're not being greedy, you are only being fair.

And it is not your responsibility to provide him information that he wants or needs- he can get it from the IRS and you are not obligated to go to the office, discuss it or do anything about it without an order from the courts demanding that you do so.

Please add to your "list" the fact that he exploited a parent teacher conference as a means to harass and belittle you, rather than care about how his children are doing in school. And that he left when you wouldn't bend to his whims. His true colors continue to shine through vibrantly, don't they?

What a moron
.
I agree.

I see your true colors shining, I see your true colors, thats why I love you, so don't be afraid, to let them sho -ow, your true colors, true colors

Are beautiful, like the rainbow.

Oh yes. Vibrant. My colors, like the rainbow, his like the colors of the mud in a puddle.

We are never the same, not ever.
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Old 02-13-2008, 07:04 AM
 
Location: Back in NYS
2,489 posts, read 5,514,202 times
Reputation: 2063
Morning Robyn - You know, even if you're having a "bad day", your posts are a joy to read! It's so great to see how you and the children have "evolved" and continue to evolve.

Unfortunately, alphabutt boy is not evolving. He STILL thinks he holds power over you. Now, instead of "threatening" you with custody of the kids, he's using the IRS to "threaten" you - Gimme a break! He STILL wants you to handle his "problems" - i.e. you giving him info he needs or you getting it from the IRS. As much of an idiot he has been and is, a part of me feels very sorry for him. He has not "grown up" and probably never will. He is missing out on a lot of things with the kids and he will continue to do so.

He is going to be one "lost puppy" when he is truly on his own. He was so sure you'd never make it on your own and just look at all you've overcome and you and the kids have flourished! He's still "stuck" in his old ways, sulking, bullying, etc.

The next time he starts giving you a hard time about something, just take a minute to do a quick flashback in your mind to see how far you have come and allow yourself a little smile. You and your children will be "going places" that alphabutt boy will never be able to go and it's a shame he doesn't even realize it..............
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