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Just because you don't NEED a person doesn't mean it wouldn't be nice to find someone.
Regarding the thread topic, I date more in my 30s than I did in my 20s, so for me personally, my situation was not any better in my 20s. The main issue now is that I have to be aware that time is running out to have chiłdren, so that makes things more urgent. Not that I'm looking to have a kid immediately, but I need to meet someone, get married, and have sex before that can happen which could take years, so it's a concern.
So do you think it's pretty ironic if someone says, "I don't NEED a bus but it's NICE to have near me."
Then in 5 other threads that same person goes, "Last time I tried using the bus, it never came and I had to wait for the next bus!!!"
"I hate my bus, it's always late!"
"The people riding the bus are so annoying!"
No one really needs anyone to be happy, but it's fun to spend time with a sexy someone. I enjoy my time to myself, but I also enjoy having someone to spend time with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
Just because you don't NEED a person doesn't mean it wouldn't be nice to find someone.
Regarding the thread topic, I date more in my 30s than I did in my 20s, so for me personally, my situation was not any better in my 20s. The main issue now is that I have to be aware that time is running out to have chiłdren, so that makes things more urgent. Not that I'm looking to have a kid immediately, but I need to meet someone, get married, and have sex before that can happen which could take years, so it's a concern.
Exactly. I don't see why this is so hard to understand. I want a man in my life, I don't need a man. There is a difference between want and need. And for what it's worth, I don't want a man to need me either. I want him to want me. It's better.
Quote:
Originally Posted by techcrium
According to Jillabean and the number of weirdos she's met online and the amount of posts she mentioned about it....it's obviously NOT fun for her. So that brings us back to the question: Why date online if you are perfectly content with not needing a man?
See Timber's answer below...
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Simple answer to that. She tried it. Found out she didn't like it; that is wasn't fun for her, then stopped doing it.
Exactly. I stopped online dating. Weirdos were a factor, but the real reason is it didn't suit my personality. The dating, then getting to know, then feeling attraction is all mixed up for me. I fall for a man by getting to know him, then feeling attracted, THEN, dating.
I didn't stop dating though (want to make that clear). I just stopped the online dating. I didn't like it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84
Also, the fondness of her most recent ex plays an emotional blocking game too. In the end, she subconsciously likely wasn't ready to date and her results proved that.
You are right as well. I still have some feelings for him, but really, we got together as friends just a few weeks ago and when I found out he's pursuing a married woman, I really did lose a lot of respect for him... and desire. I still have feelings for him, I'd be lying if I said I didn't. But they are much more faded. When I picture the idea of him coming back to me for a second chance (which is a fantasy) I get a kind of, "meh" feeling. I still remember the good times, but I lost the ability to feel a future with him.
For me, meeting someone offline and slowly getting to know him and then maybe falling for him would be a much more natural thing than jumping into online and "insta-dating" (the weird way online dating work aside, lol).
Exactly. I don't see why this is so hard to understand. I want a man in my life, I don't need a man. There is a difference between want and need. And for what it's worth, I don't want a man to need me either. I want him to want me. It's better.
So what is the difference between a want and a need?
Do you need friends? Do you need a car? Do you need a home?
Or can they all be wants as I have demonstrated above?
So what is the difference between a want and a need?
Do you need friends? Do you need a car? Do you need a home?
Or can they all be wants as I have demonstrated above?
A need is something important. Something you would struggle, or die without.
Food
Water
Home
Clothes
Now, you need these things. But you want certain types for them. You don't need a big house, just one that keeps you sheltered. But some want big and fancy.
Food - You may eat health food, or you could eat junk. The latter you don't need, but you want it.
Clothes - Long as they cover you, then you have what you need. But some want certain kinds of clothes, fancy, name-brand, etc.
Want is a luxury. A need is an necessity.
So wanting a boyfriend, isn't the same as needing one. If you need one, you're desperate and can't live without being dependent on someone else to bring your happiness, you need validation from someone. Basically you need someone else to make your life seem worth something.
Just wanting one however, means you want to go on dates and have that connection, and it gets annoying when you meet mismatches. And you may even vent a bit. But your life doesn't revolve around it, and you won't die be in trouble without it. In this case, you'd like a date with someone you have chemistry with. But you aren't looking to be validated by them, and you have happiness with yourself, and outside of them.
Clothes are a NEED? I'm sure you don't NEED it..u won't die without it.
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