if women are interested they will throw themselves at you. true or false? (looking, personal)
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I've never received such interest either, that I'm aware of (I might just be clueless), still, I've managed to date / have lovers for most of the past 25 years.
I wouldn't look into it much.
You've managed to date,? Well then you have received interest somewhere down the line. As I said I never have.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jma501
Basically the same speech as the other two braggarts. I am beginning to wonder if its one person with multiple screen names.
I'm not bragging. I have nothing to brag about. There is nothing brag worthy about being ok or average at dating. There are loads of people that have tons more success than I do, including most guys I know. I do ok. I date some cute, fun, cool people and other times I have less luck. Until recently, the past two years have been pretty dead in the dating game for me.
I have no idea how you would think that is bragging. It is what it is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stinkerr
You would think they would stop saying they are unattractive since they had some success they sure as hell wouldn't want to be in my shoes.
I'm not attractive. I don't think I've ever had a g/f call me handsome, or hot, or anything like that. My pictures on OLD wasn't what helped me get dates. If anything they hindered me.
I'm not bragging. I have nothing to brag about. There is nothing brag worthy about being ok or average at dating. There are loads of people that have tons more success than I do, including most guys I know. I do ok. I date some cute, fun, cool people and other times I have less luck. Until recently, the past two years have been pretty dead in the dating game for me.
I have no idea how you would think that is bragging. It is what it is.
I'm not attractive. I don't think I've ever had a g/f call me handsome, or hot, or anything like that. My pictures on OLD wasn't what helped me get dates. If anything they hindered me.
It seems like the only women you dated were ones who were desperate since they couldn't find something nice to say about you. Looks like I dodged a bullet.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stinkerr
It seems like the only women you dated were ones who were desperate since they couldn't find something nice to say about you. Looks like I dodged a bullet.
Haha, LOL. I never said they didn't say anything nice about me.
Nice lack of reading comprehension.
If you want to keep 100% focused on the physical, that's your burden, not mine... and I'll be enjoying spending time with that cute bullet tonight.
You've managed to date,? Well then you have received interest somewhere down the line. As I said I never have.
He's managed to date because he initiates. Women can't show interest if they don't know you exist. You have to give them a chance. If he'd waited all his life for women to approach him, he'd probably still be waiting.
When I picture throwing themselves at you, I picture something really comical (kind of like a Bug's Bunny cartoon) where the woman chases after Elmer with little hearts all around her head saying, "Oh... a Man! A Ma-an!"
I think you are right. I would say that most women will show interest, but how the interest is shown, depends on the woman. A shy woman might just hang around you more often or look at you a lot, a more outgoing one might engage you in conversation... maybe even slightly flirtatious conversation. A very outgoing woman might ask you out.
It's probably hard to figure out because 1) each woman is different in how she will show interest and 2) the man has to be very aware (and most people don't walk around being super aware about romantic interests all the time).
I think what happens is only when the man is very aware (because he already has an interest in the woman in question) does he notice. If a man isn't interested in the woman at all, I get the feeling he will never notice unless she happens to be that "very outgoing woman" I mentioned. She and her advances are invisible to him. At least, this is my personal experience.
But whatever "throwing yourself" at someone is, it's not going to be like something out of a movie or TV show (for the most part) where it's comically obvious that the woman likes you.
Few women actually "throw themselves" at a man. For me, I've gotten, at best, pretty strong hints that some might consider "throwing themselves" but I never did.
Example - she just happens to find ways to be where you are. She makes it a point to say hi to you even if she normally would just walk on by. Asks what you're doing this weekend, etc.
It can be difficult to tell the difference between "interested" and "friendly". Sometimes looking for other signals (flirtation of various types) works, but if she's someone you work with, or go to school with, she may not want to be that obvious due to the environment you see each other in.
He's managed to date because he initiates. Women can't show interest if they don't know you exist. You have to give them a chance. If he'd waited all his life for women to approach him, he'd probably still be waiting.
While I believe this is true for men as well, I think women are more responsive to the idea that if a man is interested in her, he becomes more interesting to her, but only IF:
She finds you at least mildly interesting or attractive, or at least neutral. If you're actually someone she specifically does NOT find attractive, then that's a different story.
[quote=timberline742;36409842]I'm not bragging. I have nothing to brag about. There is nothing brag worthy about being ok or average at dating. There are loads of people that have tons more success than I do, including most guys I know. I do ok. I date some cute, fun, cool people and other times I have less luck. Until recently, the past two years have been pretty dead in the dating game for me.
I have no idea how you would think that is bragging. It is what is.
As you said you have had some successes in dating. I never have and neither have a few other posters around here. Thus it comes off as bragging to those with no successes ever.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDave72
Few women actually "throw themselves" at a man. For me, I've gotten, at best, pretty strong hints that some might consider "throwing themselves" but I never did.
Example - she just happens to find ways to be where you are. She makes it a point to say hi to you even if she normally would just walk on by. Asks what you're doing this weekend, etc.
It can be difficult to tell the difference between "interested" and "friendly". Sometimes looking for other signals (flirtation of various types) works, but if she's someone you work with, or go to school with, she may not want to be that obvious due to the environment you see each other in.
I've told the story before, but I thought I picked up the lady I'm seeing now. She tells her friends she picked me up. The things she did to "initiate" things with me I didn't even notice them occurring. I thought I was being pretty smooth, but she was manipulating the situation all along.
I'm cool with that. I was just oblivious to it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
He's managed to date because he initiates. Women can't show interest if they don't know you exist. You have to give them a chance. If he'd waited all his life for women to approach him, he'd probably still be waiting.
If I never made a move I'd be a 43 yo virgin. People don't throw themselves at me, I need to make things happen. So, that is what I try to do. Sometimes successfully, sometimes not.
And no, the answers to the above two posts aren't contradictory in the slightest, not if you get the dynamics of interacting with the opposite sex.
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