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Man, if you think having discussions with women on here are difficult, don't try!!! For everyone's sake!!
This is normal adults conversing / debating, nothing more.
Then you see wrong. What works for me in a job search, isn't the same as how some of my friends found jobs. How I studied to learn isn't the same as many of my friends. My conversations / interactions with my friends and lovers aren't identical to mine with other friends/lovers, or their interactions with their other friends or lovers. Relationships are unique.
The only way you will get the interactions you saw your friend get is to become his clone. Not just in body, but in mind, heart, and spirit/energy. Even then, I suspect you saw what you wanted to see and blew it out of proportion.
Lets be honest here. CD is a left leaning, feel good, PC place where non mainstream opinions are quickly silenced
You know, every time I read this... I picture a woman loading herself into a catapult, launching herself toward a man, and then smashing into him at a high rate of velocity. Seems like it would hurt then again, I have a weird imagination.
I think I said this earlier (I've lost track) but some women will, some won't. It really depends on the woman's personality and experience. For example, an outgoing woman with little inhibition might just throw herself at a guy she's interested in. A shy woman, probably not. Most women are probably in between and it depends on a number of other factors not limited to her personality, experience, the situation, and signals and behavior from the man himself (AKA, a flirty guy might have more attention than man who doesn't flirt at all).
Me, I am not shy, but I learned though experience that men aren't really good at letting you know if they are really interested in you or not. If I come on to a man, he's "always" interested (even if he's only interested in me for my body parts... not interested in me as a person). I made that mistake in the past, coming on strong, and all it got me was hurt. For me, I figure it works better to just approach lightly (AKA, just be friendly, but not overly flirty) and wait for him to make the next, stronger move to see if he's got any real interest or not.
I call bs on your last part although no womens ever wanted me my friend had many women that approached him even with sex and he wasn't interested.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wipe out
Lets be honest here. CD is a left leaning, feel good, PC place where non mainstream opinions are quickly silenced
I don't see that at all. It seems socially a very conservative (not politically, but socially) place, where people aren't very PC at all (some of the thoughts on here about the GBLT community, the poly community, etc are truly archaic, never mind women's sexuality).
I would agree that non mainstream opinions are silenced pretty quickly, but they tend to be more open minded and progressive opinions. People here really cling to conservative judeo-christian values on sex and relationships more than any other forum I've ever encountered. It is often like the 1950s in here.
Thankfully, except for some brief living in places like KY and IN, I've completely avoided living in places where such mindsets exist in any significant number.
I call bs on your last part although no womens ever wanted me my friend had many women that approached him even with sex and he wasn't interested.
What exactly are you calling BS on? That I approach guys I am interested in? Not sure why that's so hard to believe. But like I said, approach a guy and you never really know if they are interested in you or just sex... some guys are kind of narrow minded when it comes to this and assume if you approach them in a flirtatious manner, you just want casual sex. Not all, but enough men are like this that a woman has to be careful (unless of course she *is* looking for casual sex... then it doesn't matter). Anyway, so I learned though experience that it's better to just be friendly and see where it goes.
Now I tend to meet more people though organized groups... but that's beside the point. I still engage men in conversation and see where it goes. But I let them take the lead on actually asking our or asking for a phone number. For what it's worth, it rarely works (very rarely get asked for contact info or a date). But it has happened and letting the man decide if he is interested enough to take a risk after I took the initiative to break the ice seems to work better for me than me taking a strong lead on everything in the flirtation dance. I just break the ice.
Last edited by jillabean; 09-10-2014 at 08:20 AM..
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
I just break the ice.
You can lead a horse to water...
But if a guy can't, after say having a conversation about music, movies, food, say something like, "I was thinking about checking out ________ (insert movie, band, restaurant), would you like to go?"
But if a guy can't, after say having a conversation about music, movies, food, say something like, "I was thinking about checking out ________ (insert movie, band, restaurant), would you like to go?"
Then I pity the fool.
Some do, some don't... most don't. But then again, most people aren't attracted to most other people out there so that's to be expected. I think the success rate of getting a date with that sort of thing is half a percent. I only pity when he wanted more, wanted to go out with me, and freezes up. But that's not my problem... heck, I am not even aware that's his problem. I just figure he's not interested enough in me to want to go out. So I move on. I find if I take the lead on everything then most men assume I must be "desperate." This turns off some guys who would be interested and makes others think I would be easy to get into bed/makes them think I am only interested in casual sex... so it doesn't work for me.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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If they don't because they aren't interested, that is of course fine.
If they don't because they live in fear, then that is different.
But even if he is interested in more and paralyzed, it is best that it doesn't go anywhere. Who wants to date someone that lives in fear, or can't make a decision. That sucks.
But if a guy can't, after say having a conversation about music, movies, food, say something like, "I was thinking about checking out ________ (insert movie, band, restaurant), would you like to go?"
If they don't because they aren't interested, that is of course fine.
If they don't because they live in fear, then that is different.
But even if he is interested in more and paralyzed, it is best that it doesn't go anywhere. Who wants to date someone that lives in fear, or can't make a decision. That sucks.
LOL, one of my biggest pet peeves (in people in general) is indecision. Want to drive me up a wall, take forever to decide something simple. I get impatient with my friends sometimes when they can't decide something like what time we are all going to go see a movie. After listening to them debate for 10 minutes 7:20 vs 9:40 or maybe we should see the midnight showing I usually just say, "we are seeing the 7:20. Let's go." They usually follow. lol
You know, every time I read this... I picture a woman loading herself into a catapult, launching herself toward a man, and then smashing into him at a high rate of velocity. Seems like it would hurt then again, I have a weird imagination.
I think I said this earlier (I've lost track) but some women will, some won't. It really depends on the woman's personality and experience. For example, an outgoing woman with little inhibition might just throw herself at a guy she's interested in. A shy woman, probably not. Most women are probably in between and it depends on a number of other factors not limited to her personality, experience, the situation, and signals and behavior from the man himself (AKA, a flirty guy might have more attention than man who doesn't flirt at all).
Me, I am not shy, but I learned though experience that men aren't really good at letting you know if they are really interested in you or not. If I come on to a man, he's "always" interested (even if he's only interested in me for my body parts... not interested in me as a person). I made that mistake in the past, coming on strong, and all it got me was hurt. For me, I figure it works better to just approach lightly (AKA, just be friendly, but not overly flirty) and wait for him to make the next, stronger move to see if he's got any real interest or not.
I can certainly agree with a lot of this, I am horrible at showing I am interested, That has always been the case with me but on a few ocassions a handful of crazy enough women have shown interest in me ( personally I think they are out of their mind), a strong approach from a woman would be shocking and overwhelming but I would enjoy ut and cherish it. Stuff like that doesn't happen to guys like me but once in a while so when it does it should be valued and cherished because the next one might be a lifetime away.
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then again, I have a weird imagination. 
They usually follow. lol
