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After having been too frank with a previous boyfriend, and living to regret my honesty, I would not be honest if someone asked me this question. The numbers aren't that bad - not even double digits! - but to my last boyfriend, anyone who has more than two partners falls into the "s l u t category". This is unrealistic for women who are in their late 30s, early 40s, in my opinion. If men ever wonder why women lie about it, this is the reason.
I would like to think I wouldn't care about the number; I dated one girl who's number was 8 before me and I couldn't have cared less. In fact, I thought it was going to be higher. I'm pretty sure she was being honest.
I don't think it woudl be a problem if a girl told me 50; depending on other circumstances. Then again, I've never had that happen so I can;t say how I would feel about it.
After having been too frank with a previous boyfriend, and living to regret my honesty, I would not be honest if someone asked me this question. The numbers aren't that bad - not even double digits! - but to my last boyfriend, anyone who has more than two partners falls into the "s l u t category". This is unrealistic for women who are in their late 30s, early 40s, in my opinion. If men ever wonder why women lie about it, this is the reason.
I would hope that he is no longer your boyfriend,because anybody who feels the way he does, sounds to me like he has some sort of an unrealistic moral problem,just my opinion. Oh and by the way,I would never ask,Too much of a gentleman.
I think it is very importand to be honest with a new partner. It can be a matter of life or death today vs 30 years ago. When my oldest daughter found a significant (now husband) other, I suggested blood tests before moving into another step in the relationship. They did and he went willingly. We have met a few people that have Hep C and did not even know they had it.
I think it is very importand to be honest with a new partner. It can be a matter of life or death today vs 30 years ago. When my oldest daughter found a significant (now husband) other, I suggested blood tests before moving into another step in the relationship. They did and he went willingly. We have met a few people that have Hep C and did not even know they had it.
Same for herpes, a person can be a carrier and never have symptoms themselves. Absolutely wise advice and good for you to give that advice to your daughter. I wish I'd had parents that sensible and practical. Not just testing for HIV, but also a full-panel screening for all STDs including chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis, all of them. Ignorance is NOT bliss, just a lot of anxiety.
Plus if someone balks at either having the conversation, or having the tests (and not anonymously, but with a name and date on it), then they are not someone I want to be with anyway and I am happy to have that information and move on. It is a high act of not only common sense and protection, but self-respect as well, and respect for the other person.
I think it is very importand to be honest with a new partner. It can be a matter of life or death today vs 30 years ago. When my oldest daughter found a significant (now husband) other, I suggested blood tests before moving into another step in the relationship. They did and he went willingly. We have met a few people that have Hep C and did not even know they had it.
I must say that the state that I got married in required a blood test in order to obtain a marriage license, maybe this is something that every state should require, so you see I didn't have to do any asking.
I don't see much point in asking much of anything except as pertains to STD related matters. I will ask about that, because I want to know. People who knowingly pass sexual diseases are pretty low life people, I believe. I think we ALL need to discuss this with our mates.
I don't recommend asking, for the reasons mentioned in the OP. You can't make assumptions based on that anyway. My cousin got an STD from her first lover...she was his first too but he cheated on her. Get tested and use condoms consistently if you are concerned about STDs.
If it's a health question, better to get blood tests than to ask re: number of previous partners. I don't think the number of partners is even a remotely reliable indicator of potential health matters, since it only takes ONE person, ONE encounter to damage one's life forever. PLUS, it's not just the number of people one has been with, but how many people those people have been with and so on. Therefore, asking re: number of previous partners is absolutely useless IMHO, except as a potential indicator of character, and perhaps not even then...
DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL for me; it's irrelevant and potentially damaging information...
If it's a health question, better to get blood tests than to ask re: number of previous partners. I don't think the number of partners is even a remotely reliable indicator of potential health matters, since it only takes ONE person, ONE encounter to damage one's life forever. PLUS, it's not just the number of people one has been with, but how many people those people have been with and so on. Therefore, asking re: number of previous partners is absolutely useless IMHO, except as a potential indicator of character, and perhaps not even then...
DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL for me; it's irrelevant and potentially damaging information...
...hmm...interesting response..I've read some of your posts-and you give realistic views..I like that!
After having been too frank with a previous boyfriend, and living to regret my honesty, I would not be honest if someone asked me this question. The numbers aren't that bad - not even double digits! - but to my last boyfriend, anyone who has more than two partners falls into the "s l u t category". This is unrealistic for women who are in their late 30s, early 40s, in my opinion. If men ever wonder why women lie about it, this is the reason.
I agree that the trick is not in how you ask the question....but how you answer it.
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Oh and by the way,I would never ask,Too much of a gentleman.
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