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I'm not going to report it, and I wouldn't have even called it 'rape' in any sense until I was talking to a woman friend and she suggested thats' what happened. I KNOW how traumatic this process is, to report...I just want to close the book and call it a lesson learned. As I said before, if the lines weren't so blurred - in that I mean, I didn't fight him, I guess I should address that statement. And yes, I had told him earlier that I wanted to wait. And no, he didn't listen to that, or care for that matter. So, my bad for not paying attention to the red flags.
I won't ever put myself in that position again. EVER.
About the ptsd:
If any of you have read much earlier posts of mine, you know that I already experienced this when I was young more than once. You know that I never got resolution, I never got 'justice', mainly because it was the way of my family to hush it up. I was made to feel that this was my fault completely, I won't go into any more detail than that. But, I am not the only woman who has had to deal with that bs.
People who think that the ideal exists: that all rapists, child molestors, and creeps are safely behind bars...wake up. This is not the truth. It is true that anyone undergoing this encounters a lot of resistance - from all sorts of angles. The rare ones that I've seen are ones where the woman gets lots of support and sympathy, justice and resolution.
I didn't bring this up because I want sympathy, justice or resolution. Although, I'm finding that I'm deeply touched by it. I brought it up because I wanted to make other people aware. I make my own justice, and my own resolution.
Its' too late for me...It already happened, its done. Water under the bridge...but maybe by saying this other women will be more safe. And for that matter men too.
Just don't let yourself feel like I feel right now, nothing is worth that. Protecting yourself is so important.
And another thing...did anyone get what SEAofGrass was saying? Is that poster suggesting that I'm not a woman? Or that I'm trying to punish other women? I'm confused.
That is definetely NOT my wish. I'm just me being me. I like to think that my experiences can maybe HELP other people. Not destroy them.
Oh yeh, I've been thinking about this, I have been regretting being so candid here on this forum, I always put myself out there, right in line for the jerks to run over. But, I can't handle any more than what I've got going on right now, especially people that feel qualified to judge me and be an ass.
But, for those of you that have been supportive, and not jerks, thank you. I will remember your kindness in the months to come, and feeling worthy enough to get counseling and therapy.
At least someone out there believes in me, a little.
See, that's how crappy I feel right now.
Ugh, I just want to take a break from C-D for a while. I hope that I made a good mark in the world...and gave people something to consider that was positive and at the same time - realistic...and keeps people from making the same mistakes I did.
Well, thats that.
Bye everyone.
LOL... I'm over here defending people such as Foclamp and you're here saying that I'm not... LOL..... you're a total suppressive personality and yet you're trying to spin this thing like I'm the bad guy here... LOL....... whatever... other people see it too
Please please don't spin this like I'm the bad guy here, I've been advocating for foclamp since post one.... for you to say otherwise is just foolish and others see it too.........
Here.. a couple more for ya.....
She's never made any sense in the majority of posts to me, and this was a terrible thread to begin an argument.
This is going to do a lot of psychological damage to you foclampt, if it hasn't already, the longer you post pone getting help in recovering from this situation. It may do a lot of damage to you even when you're getting therapy, because you're probably going to have to tell any stories you may have from the past and present, which could awaken emotions that you thought you recovered from or even shoved away.
Every person who's had a traumatic experience at any point in there lives are worthy of counseling and therapy. There is no shame in getting help. Counseling helped my dad get through the process of losing his wife and helped him be more of himself during that time, so I've seen the work good counselors and psychiatrists can do, but sometimes it takes time for all the work to pay off.
Hang in there, don't think negatively about yourself, and find help! Many of us are here for support if you need it!
And another thing...did anyone get what SEAofGrass was saying? Is that poster suggesting that I'm not a woman? Or that I'm trying to punish other women? I'm confused.
That is definetely NOT my wish. I'm just me being me. I like to think that my experiences can maybe HELP other people. Not destroy them.
I believe SoG is talking about another poster, not you.
I believe SoG is talking about another poster, not you.
Good luck in whatever you do.
That is exactly what (who) SoG is talking about.
Foclampt, I think you've been very honest here, and I for one appreciate it. I'm sorry I have taken attention away from your initial post, but sometimes the BS around here gets to be waaay too much.
Best of luck to you, and I hope you find resolution with this.
I'm not going to report it... I KNOW how traumatic this process is, to report...I already experienced this when I was young more than once.
...did anyone get what SEAofGrass was saying? Is that poster suggesting that I'm not a woman? Or that I'm trying to punish other women? I'm confused.
SeaofGrass was saying that I make all women look bad, because I was defending your right to make your own choice, and to not to report if you don't want to.
Oh yeh, I've been thinking about this, I have been regretting being so candid here on this forum, I always put myself out there, right in line for the jerks to run over. But, I can't handle any more than what I've got going on right now, especially people that feel qualified to judge me and be an ass.
But, for those of you that have been supportive, and not jerks, thank you. I will remember your kindness in the months to come, and feeling worthy enough to get counseling and therapy.
At least someone out there believes in me, a little.
See, that's how crappy I feel right now.
Ugh, I just want to take a break from C-D for a while. I hope that I made a good mark in the world...and gave people something to consider that was positive and at the same time - realistic...and keeps people from making the same mistakes I did.
Well, thats that.
Bye everyone.
I'm so sorry, honey, for what you have been through and for what this place is like. I will pm you in case you want to talk.
SeaofGrasswas saying that I make all women look bad, because I was defending your right to make your own choice, and to not to report if you don't want to.
I agree with you completely. That's exactly what I was saying.
So, I consider myself to be a fairly relaxed and low key sort of person. This dating thing has really ticked me off for some reason.
I am just fed up to HERE with ways online dating reinforces the idea that all of your value and worth are tied up in a few words and a picture for crying out loud.
I just took my profile down, I'm so tired of being pestered by people who find my picture to be nice but they have NOTHING in common with me. They aren't even remotely what I'd consider for a relationship or even a date.
The dates I have had, anyway, are it turns out - sort of rushed...it seems they have one thing on their mind, and they're really really in a hurry to get there. So freakn disappointing.
There are probably a lot of people who would say, you have barely started, don't give up yet!
Maybe I'll go back in a few months and when I do, I'm going to a paid site. This POF thing is for crap.
I know what you mean. I am an educated (Masters degree), white collar professional who is childless, religious (I attend church sometimes twice a week), etc. Guess what was mostly contacting me? divorced or never married dads (My profile clearly stated NO DADS), people not Christian (my profile stated I was VERY devout), uneducated (most were lucky to have a high school diploma, slobs (seriously bathe before a photo), and usually much older.
I agree with you completely. That's exactly what I was saying.
Lol...
Wait, what?
So if I am not the fake woman making all women look bad, and neither is foclampt, then who is?
I thought you were taking Chow's side last night, but maybe I misjudged you.
Also, why is Chow sometimes so awesome and then randomly so cruel/clueless? Does he post while drunk or something? This has been baffling me as long as I have been here.
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