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Old 09-15-2014, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Terra
2,826 posts, read 3,974,483 times
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He's not being a player. He thinks you friendzoned him.
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Old 09-15-2014, 11:05 AM
 
422 posts, read 444,496 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CapsChick View Post
None of the behavior you described makes him sound like a player, Quite the opposite, actually.
Oh, ok, thanks.
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Old 09-15-2014, 11:08 AM
 
422 posts, read 444,496 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
First glance says that he's actually interested in her, and either no longer interested in you, or never was. I could be wrong...I don't know all the facts. But that's what it seems like. "Players" are a bit, shall we say, better at these kinds of situations. His knee-jerk response to bring her up all the time indicates that she's on his mind.

Edit: reread it and missed the part where you didn't respond to him by flirting back, etc. It's also possible that he has a "you missed your chance/friendzone" mindset and is kinda rubbing it in your face.
Thank You, Hivemind31.
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Old 09-15-2014, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Ohio
5,624 posts, read 6,811,100 times
Reputation: 6802
Maybe ask him out and see what he says
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Old 09-15-2014, 12:56 PM
 
432 posts, read 361,024 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MakeLoveNotWar View Post
I won't bore you with details but I am 100% positive he is attracted to me (let's just say he's exhibited many of the basic signs if attraction-flirting, giving me things, staring when I'm not looking, etc.) this has been going on for a few months now.

I was pretty slow on the uptake as many of his romantic overtures went, well, right over my head and he just wasn't on my radar until recently...not to mention, I never flirt with him or anything.

Anyway, he has this female friend. She has a boyfriend and I know for sure that the two of them are NOT dating on the down low or anything like that, but I am also not naive to the fact that there could some feelings/attraction between them.

Problem is: whenever we are all together, if someone says something positive about me, he immediately gives her a compliment or compares her to me in some way. Like the other day when someone said about me "oh Missy can play the flute" he says quickly in response, "oh Kathy plays guitar". Wtf?

I also noticed that sometimes when I come around he will sort of stand behind her like he is afraid of me, lol, but the few moments that he and I do have alone and she comes around, he has no time for her and I realize he is letting go of her more and more the closer we get. He also turns red when I come into the space now which is something he never used to do before.

So I guess my question is, does he sound like a player or is it that he just needs to feel more comfortable with me?

Thanks for your help,

Oh yeah definitely a "player!" Watch out, his shyness and staring from afar is going to "drag" you in!

No he's not a player! He's a guy, presumably shy or one without much confidence in women, that is interested in you. At the end of the day, do you really want a guy like that? You obviously seem attracted to him but he hasn't really made a move yet.
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Old 09-15-2014, 02:05 PM
 
422 posts, read 444,496 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Yeah, a player is GOOD with women and flirting. That's what allows him to "play" multiple women. He has romantic skills and can make you think he is into you so he can have sex with you.

This guy has not even made a move on you in months and has left you confused about whether he even likes you. If he is a player, he is really bad at it.

Based on what you describe, I don't think he does like you.
Interesting. Thanks.
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Old 09-15-2014, 02:08 PM
 
422 posts, read 444,496 times
Reputation: 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by jsun556 View Post
He's not being a player. He thinks you friendzoned him.
Didn't think about it like that.
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Old 09-15-2014, 02:10 PM
 
422 posts, read 444,496 times
Reputation: 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
Maybe ask him out and see what he says
Now that would be the equivalent of me putting on gasoline drawers and jumping into a camp fire!
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Old 09-15-2014, 05:36 PM
 
Location: CA
3,467 posts, read 8,124,723 times
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I agree with those suggesting he may have like you, but took your slow response as disinterest. His bringing up the other girl as constant comparison is a bad sign. It's immature at the least. His hiding by her also indicates he could be stinging over his perception that you "friend zoned" him. Of course if you are interested, you could let him know, but it sounds like he's moving on mentally.

Honestly, I've seen this happen a lot with slow to warm women. Men expect a quick response and don't realize some women don't catch onto flirting easily. But then I get that guys don't want to pester someone either. There's the fine line to straddle...
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Old 09-15-2014, 06:17 PM
 
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,136,111 times
Reputation: 3814
Dont worry about moving too slow. It's important to feel people out before opening your heart completely to them.

What is his relationship with the 'other girl'?

I would agree he is mentioning her because she is on his mind. Why is she on his mind? Does he like her - which at face value that is the way I would take it - or is she the one thing you two have in common?
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