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not a problem, some people just dont understand enjoying your life alone, it's called "introvert"
some people like to have lots of socializing and cant stand being alone and some people enjoy being alone, life is so much simpler and stress free when you dont have to deal with people you have no interest in, for a loner it feels like they are wasting your time and getting in your space, especially if your a private person that likes to keep to themselves.
it's better to be happy and alone than dependent on others for support , only weak people need constant friendship & companionship
some people are happy just to have a dog as a companion
Oh good grief
I was with you until you made that ridiculous claim.
not a problem, some people just dont understand enjoying your life alone, it's called "introvert"
some people like to have lots of socializing and cant stand being alone and some people enjoy being alone, life is so much simpler and stress free when you dont have to deal with people you have no interest in, for a loner it feels like they are wasting your time and getting in your space, especially if your a private person that likes to keep to themselves.
it's better to be happy and alone than dependent on others for support , only weak people need constant friendship & companionship
some people are happy just to have a dog as a companion
Now your going to the extreme other end of the spectrum.
I think this world would be a much better place if people stop projecting themselves onto others.
Longer term, OP, try to find three friends so that if you have a health crisis, such as a heart attack, you have a local safety net.
It's not that difficult to maintain three friendships. One could be a couple and the other could be someone slightly younger or older than you. Have lunch with these people about once a month or see a movie/concert. You don't have to spend hours with them! You don't have to engage in drama. You don't have to "date" or have sex.
And be willing to take them to the hospital or watch their house when they go on vacation.
I understand about it being easier to be alone, but when you get older, if you don't have a couple of friends like this (and no family nearby) and become hospitalized, it can lead to social workers prying into all aspects of your life and maybe hounding you about counseling. (and they don't take no for an answer)
You don't need this sort of attention. Having several people like this ensures that you don't. Chances are, if you poke around a bit, you can find others like yourself who are basically loners but understand the need for a small network like this.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miaah221
I am a loner in every sense of the word. I've never had a boyfriend, never had sex, and do not have any close friends. I do very well for myself as an auditor/accountant. For the most part, I work at home and alone with little or no issues at all.
I enjoy my life and want things to continue as they are, but sometimes I feel bad, only because others tend to put their own expectations on me. When I'm vacationing alone, people will often ask, why am I traveling alone? Or if I'm eating alone, people will give me those awkward glances.
I am anti social, and I tend to shy away from people, because offline I do not like engaging in extensive conversations with others, if it's none work related.
Needless to say, I know that marriage is out of the question and I have no interest in ever having children. Why am I treated as though my lifestyle is a problem, when I'm happy.
This is a politeness. A courtesy. Whether a genuine concern, or feigned concern out of politeness, it expresses concern for your safety.
This is imagined on your part. People watch people. You watch people too, or you wouldnt be trying to interpret their glances for them. You wouldnt see their glances. When in public, we can all expect to be glanced at by anyone else who is in our vicinity. Do you know how many of them were day-dreaming while seeming to glance at you?
Given the imagined part, I can see that you dont like people, but still put yourself in public with them. You say you shy away from people, but you arent vacationing in remote areas away from people, nor are you eating in remote areas away from people.
You may tell yourself you dont like people, yet you seek them out - to walk among them. Therefore, sorry, but I dont believe you like being alone. Your actions and thoughts betray you.
Its okay. Its your perogative to stay on the peripheral. Sometimes, its just plain safer.
Last edited by ConeyGirl52; 09-15-2014 at 06:50 PM..
I can't imagine that a person who truly disdains interaction with others would actively seek out interaction with others by way of an internet forum. If you are a true loner and truly don't want to deal with people, why actively seek them and their thoughts and opinions out, period? Could it be that being a true, absolute loner is pretty untenable for the vast majority of people, and that most people are typically compelled to seek out other people for interaction, even if that interaction is not face-to-face?
If you are truly happy, then the annoying questions are a minor thing to deal with. Just realize that most people don't work like you, so they don't understand your choices easily, and their concern comes from a good place. They aren't seeking to irritate you, so just be gracious in dealing with their comments and questions.
You make a few comments indicating social anxieties and childhood emotional wounds. It may be good to explore these and heal them just to function better and be even happier. It may not alter your choices to live a solitary life, but you will be even more secure in those choices and others will be even more accepting of them as they will see greater emotional health attached to them. If your choices do change in the process - that's okay too. Most people in life grow in awareness of their needs and may alter their course because of it. In any case, you will live better when you move past fears and hurt, and instead determine needs positively.
It can be upsetting, hearing from my mom. I feel kind of bad for her. I'm an only child and in my early 30s. Sometimes when she speaks about grandchildren, I smile and say, who knows maybe some day, but she knows that I have no interest and I'm just trying to be nice.
I do however believe that she feels as though something went wrong during my childhood. I think she may be right to a degree. I was teased a lot by males (as a child), and never forgot the pain and frustration of it all.
Maybe it'd be beneficial to talk to someone about this. I'm being serious. I think you might really benefit from it. If things from your childhood are still plaguing you, it should really be addressed. Same goes for all of us.
Apparently, look at the other threads the O.P. has started. Sound familiar?
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