Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So you'll love this woman even if she cheats on you, gambles your retirement accounts away, calls you names, and shows up at your job drunk? I find that hard to believe.
What you're describing here is NOT unconditional love.
If it were, then to use your own example parents would not unconditionally love their own kids based on the often horrible behavior kids exhibit.
I do not think there is "unconditional love" in a romantic relationship, even if the limits to which there are conditions is very high. Being disappointed, frustrated, or angry with a loved one does not mean those feelings are based on an actual "condition." Many people love those that hurt or wrong them, despite the wrong.
Yet, when a relationship is toxic, or goes on in an unhealthy manner for a long period of time, many people do fall out of love. So there had to be some conditions for the love, and hence it is not completely unconditional. (Which of course does not mean everyone who breaks up loses their love for their partner either, but some do.).
Blind unconditional love is just an individual being naive and can easily lead to being walked on and abused.
It's a fine line between unconditional love and tolerating abuse. It really depends on the conditions set forth in the relationship. Some conditions are shallow while others aren't. It's a reasonable expectation to want a spouse who doesn't cheat. How you handle that if it happens is something else. I knew a guy whose condition to commit to woman, marry her and support her financially was that she HAD to participate in threesomes and accept that he would sleep with other women. But he would always complain that he could never find a woman who is what he wants and met his expectations. Now THAT is ridiculous! It's like DUH! No woman in her right mind who doesn't have self-esteem issues would accept that.
No such thing as unconditional love. Spouses most likely will stop loving if they're abused as will most normal humans. Even the whole parental unconditional love thing is fiction. If so then why are so many kids treated so badly by the person who should love them the most? And if you think Fido is going to keep loving you if all he gets is the back of your hand then you're delusional.
I feel like most people only love their children, nieces and nephews unconditionally and everyone else ultimately is valued by their utility when it comes down to it. People divorce for stupid reasons like financial problems or simply because their partner is not as hard working or successful as they would like them to be, but it's pretty rare for people to shut their children out of their life.
I'd personally like to find a woman who loves me unconditionally, and I'm willing to love them in the same way. My parents won't live forever and it will be kind of lonely from an existential point of view to not be loved in that way by anyone. I just wonder if it's too much to ask of another human being though, who doesn't carry your genes into the future.
Parents can love their children conditionally as well. "If you don't make it into Harvard I'll disown you" stupid crap.
The lonely existential part is the part where you need to fill inside yourself, because no relationship, no person can make you truly happy.
People can make you sad, especially if they were great people who left a mark in your life, and they physically pass on in death.
But, the loneliness you feel inside after they die can feel a little more warm and fulfilling when you continue to hold those people in your heart and commemorate them each and every day by enjoying the little things in life, and remember the happy moments you shared with them that were most meaningful to you.
(I have a friend who's on the verge of losing his mother, and he's frantically looking for a wife, and he's had run-ins with some gold-diggers. Normally a smart guy who makes sane decisions, but his thinking about loneliness has caused him to make some not-so wise choices lately.. don't go down his path to avoid confronting your own personal fears).
I don't believe it's possible outside of parental love for child.
There are many unrealistic ideas we are pelted with by movies, books, tv, photographs, songs etc. concerning romantic relationships. Once you are in one for a long period, you'll understand.
But keep at it...you might find one who is a good fit!
It's possible to love your dog/cat unconditionally.
Romantic relationships aren't meant to be unconditional. There are always conditions. I recently had a friend tell me he wanted his wife to love him unconditionally. This showed me how truly unhealthy their marriage was, because he wanted someone who would worship and idolize him the way that his mother and sisters did. He was hurt because his wife was no longer in love with him, because that is what he expected from his wife. That's messed up. He'd done a lot to hurt her and ignore the marriage over the years, yet he failed to take ownership of any of that because he believed that a wife should love him no matter what.
This attitude is pretty old-fashioned, IMO. It reminds me of the stereotypical Irish or Italian wives who stand by their husbands no matter how much they are neglected, cheated on, or disrespected. Love comes with conditions unless you are talking about a dog or cat.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
