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Never? I can't imagine why you would believe this. Perhaps you mean that young attractive women will "never" have an issue finding a date.
I have a 55 year old girlfriend who lost her husband after more than 25 years of marriage. She hasn't ever been on a date. She is average in appearance (maybe slightly below average, but she isn't ugly), very conservative, religious, somewhat matronly looking, and is 30 lbs overweight.
I encouraged her to try online dating and was pretty shocked when she told me a few weeks later that she did not get a single wink or contact from anyone. She tried initiating by approaching men whom she thought might be a good match for her and she heard nothing back from any of them. Crickets. Not even any winks from ancient, scummy, unemployed, fat, bald, short, ugly men. It was pretty demoralizing for her.
That was six or seven years ago, so she is over 60 years old now. She has since lost the weight, updated her hair and wardrobe, whitened her teeth, and is looking and feeling better than ever but as far as I know, not a single man has ever asked her out.
That is what they must mean.
I wasn't even overweight and I never was asked out on a date. I was thin, but way too tall, flat-chested, and although I wore makeup and did what I could with my hair, I felt I was passable, but I was never pretty. No one EVER asked me out, not in high school, not afterward when I went to work.
Eventually I found out that there was a population of men who didn't mind a too-tall, unattractive girl as long as she was fun to hang around with and made a decent salary that they could tap into. They are called "alcoholics". They won't waste money taking you out on a real date, but they'll buy drinks and have sex with you. I married one.
I divorced him sixteen years later, and by that time online dating was around. I tried that and guess what kind of men were interested in me, even when it wasn't obvious at first...yep, more alkies. AND druggies.
Have you actually been out with one of these aloof professional daters? Because I don't know any women like that.
No I haven't and would hope not to come across anyone like that. But with me I also need to feel interest in between dates like her texting or calling first sometimes not just me showing all the interest.
well if that is the case then we should go dutch until a connection is made. See what you are saying is not possible for the average man because going out can be pricey when you factor in movies and dinner. So any guy who is not making 6 figures is not going to just keep spending money if he feels she is not interested in him as a person. If a guy foots the three dates then that can be close to $300 and I don't know any guy unless he is rich that is going to keep spending money if he looks like she has no interest.
Again I am talking about Interest, not getting SEX,
Dude, if you're spending $300 in the first 3 dates, you're doing it wrong. REALLY doing it wrong!
I have only ever heard that rule in movies. So from my understanding people actually go by that? I never thought you could put a time limit on how long it'll take person's feelings to develop. There are too many things to factor into that equation. There is no concrete answer.
I have only ever heard that rule in movies. So from my understanding people actually go by that? I never thought you could put a time limit on how long it'll take person's feelings to develop. There are too many things to factor into that equation. There is no concrete answer.
I would think by date 3 a guy would know for a fact if a woman is interested in dating him. And if you met her from a online dating site it would actually be the 4th time you saw each other but the first time is not considered a date just a meet and greet.
Never? I can't imagine why you would believe this. Perhaps you mean that young attractive women will "never" have an issue finding a date.
I have a 55 year old girlfriend who lost her husband after more than 25 years of marriage. She hasn't ever been on a date. She is average in appearance (maybe slightly below average, but she isn't ugly), very conservative, religious, somewhat matronly looking, and is 30 lbs overweight.
I encouraged her to try online dating and was pretty shocked when she told me a few weeks later that she did not get a single wink or contact from anyone. She tried initiating by approaching men whom she thought might be a good match for her and she heard nothing back from any of them. Crickets. Not even any winks from ancient, scummy, unemployed, fat, bald, short, ugly men. It was pretty demoralizing for her.
That was six or seven years ago, so she is over 60 years old now. She has since lost the weight, updated her hair and wardrobe, whitened her teeth, and is looking and feeling better than ever but as far as I know, not a single man has ever asked her out.
There's a member here who's in her late 30's, and put up a profile on OLD after her husband died unexpectedly. She says she's never got any attention online, even when she messages dudes first. And she posted her photo, I thought she looked pretty good. Not a beauty, but attractive enough. I'd be surprised, except I've known women in their 20's who have gone years without any male attention at all. And they don't mean no attention from dudes they'd be interested in, they mean: no attention at all, nada, zip.
I have only ever heard that rule in movies. So from my understanding people actually go by that? I never thought you could put a time limit on how long it'll take person's feelings to develop.
A lot depends. I usually wait longer, but if the stars align and two people are in the moment it can happen earlier.
I do look for some sort of... appreciation... for the time and expense I go to. This can be as simple as saying "thanks for taking me out, I had a really good time" in a text or something. It can also be expressed in more physical ways if she wants. I'm a very busy person so when I spend time with a date, it took a lot of re-arranging of my schedule. It's nice to know that's appreciated. In any case, if there's no communication of thanks or anticipation of the next date, or in general some kind of positive reinforcement I stop contacting her.
If i guide myself from what i see around me, in general, i would say MEN have it easier
Im tired to meet AMAZING woman (and i mean amazing: young, beautiful, profesional, smart, funny, etc) who, even when going out with men way worst than them in ALL areas, have problems keeping them.
While i also met obnoxious men who are coupling with women way out of their league (as in better)
so, i dont know, i think maybe there is a type of woman (very attractive, very smart, very succesful) that repels men, and woman who arent that great but are more "approchable" have it easier.
My point is: is easy to see GREAT women single. A woman that haves it all: gorgeous, young, succesful, very smart, very funny, etc, might be unsuccesful with men, but theres no way you can find an equally gorgeous young succesful man having no luck with women, i wonder why that is?
well if that is the case then we should go dutch until a connection is made. See what you are saying is not possible for the average man because going out can be pricey when you factor in movies and dinner. So any guy who is not making 6 figures is not going to just keep spending money if he feels she is not interested in him as a person. If a guy foots the three dates then that can be close to $300 and I don't know any guy unless he is rich that is going to keep spending money if he looks like she has no interest.
Again I am talking about Interest, not getting SEX,
Well, this is all very different from your first posts that started the conversation now that you've switched to talking about multiple dates--of course you don't want to keep going out if there is no connection. That's a no-brainer, and no one is arguing about that.
But you seem so focused on what you spend and what you are getting in return. My daughter was in a relationship for almost two years with a guy she met in college. Their first date was a (free) trip to the state museum with coffee afterward, and she fell for him for being so cool as to want to go someplace like a museum instead of a bar. He was intelligent, and that's what she wanted. He was also a pharmacy student and studying night and day so he was broke. They did free local stuff, they did hikes and festivals and whatnot.
Do you have anything more imaginative than just dinner and a movie? If you love those activities, then great. Spend your money on them as you are able because that's what you want to spend your money on and because you specifically want to meet women who like to go out to dinner and movies. not because that's the thing to do get "affection".
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