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It's a whole bunch of garbage. Seriously, I've written some well written, thought out messages to a lot of women since I've tried OLD, and didn't get much of anything back, if she even wrote me back in the f*cking first place.
You're better off typing a few sentences that relate to her profile and move on, because odds are women aren't going to respond anyway.
LOL! I see many women who have very terse and uninteresting profiles. On the other hand if their profile is verbose then it's just filled with useless rants. If one expects original and unique messages then I feel their profile needs to be similarly unique, creative and original.
Everyone has different standards and wants when it comes to dating, both online and off.
Feel free to apply whatever it is you are looking for, but you will probably be unsuccessful in relationships if you keep trying to put each gender in a box together.
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Online dating sites are so fake. 9 times out of 10 the pictures that women post of themselves isn't an accurate representation of how they look in real life at all. This is especially true if a woman holds the camera up and takes a "high selfie". This is done to mask the reality that she's overweight. I don't know why in the hell they even bother doing this in the first place. Isn't the whole purpose of online dating to MEET someone? Unless the guy shows up to the first date wearing stilts, I don't see the logic in the whole high-selfie thing.
Profiles are stupid and full of idiotic wishful thinking / cleverly spun descriptions of themselves that in no way reflect the reality of who the people are. Trouble is, if you're honest about yourself, you're most likely not gonna get any online action. For example, during the brief period of time I tried online dating, my profile read something like this:
"Hi. My name's ______. I'm 30 something years old divorced, and own my own successful small business. I enjoy music, having a good time, laughing with friends, irreverent comedy, and spending time in nature. I play the guitar and I have a cat."
In reality, it's more like this:
"Hi. My name's _______. I'm 30 something years old, divorced, and I work for myself because I've never liked authority or being told what to do by anyone. I like punk rock music, making fun of people, and weeeeeeed! I pretend to be an upstanding citizen both to keep up appearances and also to be left alone, but in reality I've never truly matured beyond the age of 19 or so."
So everyone lies and conceals who they really are in the online dating world, few people ever find lasting relationships as a result, and then people complain about online dating as being a failed social experiment....which it is.
So I keep hearing from women how they expect creative, thought-provoking, original, effervescent, clever and witty messages. Anything less and they will definitely not respond...so they claim on their profile.
However, I have received some messages from a few women and the only words in the missive are "Hi" or "Hi, how are you?". There is not a single woman who has written me a message of any substance.
Is this an expectation only of men?
Women put any effort into a first message? Not in your dreams.
I either get a smiley face, hi, or hi cutie.
Women put 0 effort. It's what made me realize I should not put effort into online dating. Worked just fine for me, I made my profile about 3 sentences and sent out 2-3 sentence first messages and did just fine.
On another note, I once received a first message saying " hi" from a girl who had written in her profile " I'm not responding to any guys who can't take the basic effort to write a first message, if all you say is hi then you are obviously not for me"
Oh I replied to this girl's message alright.. she just didn't like my response
When you meet a person in real life, you say "hello." And wait for them to reply, that is the polite thing to do. If they say hello back then you can proceed to try to chat.
What these women in OLD sites don't get is that many of them as you say, have this double standard in place. But even if they don't, they expect you to write a sonnet as a greeting to someone you don't know.
If you do take the chance (and copious time) and write a paragraph or more as a greeting, they are more than likely to ignore it or respond with a short dismissal. I really don't have enough life left to write all that much just to be rudely ignored.
All-in-all anyone who expects more than a hello just as a greeting is not worth the time it takes to say "hello." Move on to the next.
Totally agree. I don't respond to those and I even say it in my profile. I automatically think its a fake profile or she's not very smart. I hate OLD, but its the only way for me to have a shot at meeting a woman in my current city. Its a necessary evil, unfortunately. I'm more and more burned out every day, but I don't stop because I want to find a wife. Ugh.
Am I the only person that just learned that pictures from above are more attractive?!! DH face timed me from the hardware store so I could look at a fan.... and I was like "oh! I look so much better from up here AND it shows cleavage!!"
Probably an oversight due to the fact that I don't do a lot of selfies. /lol
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OTOH, it's rare to see a man with more than one photo on his profile, and 99% of men's pics are in the bathroom mirror in the car, or have an ex obviously cropped out.
Yes, OLD is full of double standards.
It's because a lot of them think that's what women want to see, and sadly, despite sometimes stating the opposite, I tend to think that's true for a fair number of women.
Everyone has different standards and wants when it comes to dating, both online and off.
Feel free to apply whatever it is you are looking for, but you will probably be unsuccessful in relationships if you keep trying to put each gender in a box together.
The genders are ALREADY in a box. That's was my experience when filling out employment apps.
when you meet a person in real life, you say "hello." and wait for them to reply, that is the polite thing to do. If they say hello back then you can proceed to try to chat.
What these women in old sites don't get is that many of them as you say, have this double standard in place. But even if they don't, they expect you to write a sonnet as a greeting to someone you don't know.
If you do take the chance (and copious time) and write a paragraph or more as a greeting, they are more than likely to ignore it or respond with a short dismissal. I really don't have enough life left to write all that much just to be rudely ignored.
All-in-all anyone who expects more than a hello just as a greeting is not worth the time it takes to say "hello." move on to the next.
+100.
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