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OLD dating sucks for men especially because women get guy spammed dozens of times a day inflating their egos to monstrous levels. Because they are getting guy spammed they feel they don't have to put any effort into their own messages or respond to anyone that is unworthy of them.
The few dates I have had from OLD has been from women that messaged me first. One woman that I went on a date with said she was getting 25+ a day and deactivated her account because it was flooding her email with spam. Myself, I get maybe 1-2 messages a month.
I don't think I have gotten 25 messages over a course of a month on the same site lol
When you meet a person in real life, you say "hello." And wait for them to reply, that is the polite thing to do. If they say hello back then you can proceed to try to chat.
What these women in OLD sites don't get is that many of them as you say, have this double standard in place. But even if they don't, they expect you to write a sonnet as a greeting to someone you don't know.
If you do take the chance (and copious time) and write a paragraph or more as a greeting, they are more than likely to ignore it or respond with a short dismissal. I really don't have enough life left to write all that much just to be rudely ignored.
All-in-all anyone who expects more than a hello just as a greeting is not worth the time it takes to say "hello." Move on to the next.
I just basically write this as a opening statement
Hi I'm FBJ from the Pearson section of the city, how are you this evening?
It's a whole bunch of garbage. Seriously, I've written some well written, thought out messages to a lot of women since I've tried OLD, and didn't get much of anything back, if she even wrote me back in the f*cking first place.
You're better off typing a few sentences that relate to her profile and move on, because odds are women aren't going to respond anyway.
I sent someone a message on 9/4 and she responded today with a response of "Hi" LOL. I guess she gets that many messages
I just basically write this as a opening statement
Hi I'm FBJ from the Pearson section of the city, how are you this evening?
That was the kind of thing I looked for (and did) when I did OLD. I just wanted something that said, "hey, I am a real human being and not spamming 100 other women tonight with, 'hi how r U?'" Something that shows hey, you are actually interested in me, not cutting and pasting until just anyone responds... you want a particular someone to respond and I am that type of someone.
Just a real sentence whether it was something like the above... or something that showed he read my profile like, "Hi I'm FBJ... I see you love scuba diving. That's interesting, how did you start?" or "Wow, another Doctor Who fan... I love that show too. Which Doctor is your favorite?"
You'd be surprised how few men even do that... one or two sentences. "Hi" is a dime a hundred (not even a dime a dozen). I didn't need a cleaver or unique dissertation... just something that told me that you actually had a real interest in me as a person (not just in my picture).
And that's what I did too when I saw men's profiles I liked. I'd say things like, "Hello. I saw your profile that you like science fiction books too! Do you have a favorite author?" or "Hey, I see you are a history buff too. Do you have a favorite time period?"
On paid sites, the volume of messages wasn't too bad. But on OKCupid, I got a TON of messages (and I don't think most of them were "real"). After a while, I started asking (in my profile) that men responding put something in the subject line so I knew they were real, not spamming, etc. I'd say, "I get a lot of spam messages. In your subject line, put the answer to 7 x 3 so I know you are a real person and not a spambot and I promise I will reply to you."
And I always did. And even then, it was rare for message to appear with "21" in the subject line, etc. And yes, I kept my promise and always answered. For some reason, I seemed to attract a lot of guys looking for a third with their wives or girlfriends though, lol. I am not into that. That was on OKcupid though. Not all of them, but a lot. (Think it had something to do with me saying I wanted a casual relationship to start... I was thinking as in, date a few times a week, no real commitment until we get to know each other, see how it goes, etc. I think men saw "casual" and only thought "casual sex." lol. Not sure why, for so many "relationship" and "sex" are interchangeable. You can have one without the other... or you can have both together. But they certainly aren't the same thing)
But I'll tell you what, all those guys looking for a third not only put 21 in the subject line, they wrote nice, long messages that were more personal than the dozens of, "hi!" messages I got a day.
But you know what, take my opinion with a pinch of salt. I found online dating easy to get dates, but I hated it. The main reason, it just didn't fit my personality for a variety of reasons and I felt stressed and uphappy doing it. So who knows, maybe women like me who are happy with a short sentence like that don't online date much (or for long).
Last edited by jillabean; 09-20-2014 at 05:49 PM..
Pretty sure the site is a waste of everyone's money.
I went to sign up for a certain site last night because they had a special going for $10.44 for 30 days. I accidently clicked on the 6th month special and my account was charged $41.75 for 180 days
OTOH, it's rare to see a man with more than one photo on his profile, and 99% of men's pics are in the bathroom mirror in the car, or have an ex obviously cropped out.
Yes, OLD is full of double standards.
Is this true? I joined match a few weeks back and most men have a lot of pictures. I've seen one, maybe, that only had one photo.
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