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Hes not really into foreplay so no? But I'm always "ready" anyway so it's not needed.. but would be appreciated Haha
It seems to be all about what he's into (or not into, as seems to be the case). Has dude not heard of compromise? What about what you want? This doesn't sound like any relationship I'd like to be a part of! Not "into" foreplay, wth?
Take no offense members. For those who aren't religious, as if you aren't, none of this will pertain to you.
With God, he doesn't just hand things to you. You can pray all night, but if you don't try to help yourself...
You accepted the situation for 4 years. it's not God's fault. He gave free choice, and you chose this man. Not to mention you're living with the guy in sin, if pre-marital sex is a sin to your God. Maybe his way of helping was you starting this thread so everyone could tell you that you're not in a good situation, and need to get out and turn your life around. Clearly, this isn't for you, and you need to get out. Even with the bible, it's been stated if you're married, divorce is a sin,, except on grounds of fornication, your partner is abusive in any way, a cheater, selfish, disrespectful etc. When with a partner who doesn't treat you right, and won't change, God wants you to leave. You can leave, fix your life, then pray that he give you strength to leave, and stay strong while you move on.
The point is, chances are, God didn't lead you to this guy. Nobody made any mistakes but you. You-like so many others just chose the wrong person to try and be with. Most people-sans lucky ones-have done that. Once you realize you're unhappy, you need to cut your losses, and try piecing your life back together.
And you got together young as well. You were only 18, and at that age you have yet to really live life-barely out of school. Seems like you fell hard for the 1st guy who came along, and since you experience these feelings for the first time, it's overwhelming. Plus, at 18 you probably haven't finished growing into the person you're going to be. That's another danger of getting into young relationships. It can be bad to shackle to one person, and never see what else is out there, because the person you grow into may be totally different.
That's a risk of young relationships. Sometimes you change together and accept it. Sometimes, you're no longer compatible. A poster on here did that. Young 19 girl, with a 29 guy. At first it was great because they were both immature, and a perfect match. Eventually she grew and changed, but he still acts like a big child, and pals around with young teen guys, then when they grow up, he stops talking to them because they're boring. Now that his, now, wife, has grown, she can see how immature her husband was when they dated, she just didn't notice because she was just as bad.
And, also, many women tend to get overly attached to guys through sex. Not all women. But some, after sleeping with a guy a bit, the sex messes with their head, and they become enamored with the guy, even if he may not be good for her. The girl I told you about in the example is that way. A poster here, whose 50 stated she did it when she was younger, and because of her hormones, the sex had her hooked, and she stuck around with bad guys and put up with disrespectful treatment until she grew up and got out. Now, she's good and shows herself the respect she deserves. She doesn't put up with that anymore.'
I worked today sorry my reply is so late!
I know having sex before marriage was wrong but I was young & of course hormones. Plus I had convinced myself that since we'd be married anyway it wouldn't matter. But that has taken some time. Starting out he didn't believe in marriage but now he does. No I dont like living in sin and I was actually worried that he wouldnt want to marry me for a while but like I said before the whole thing has been a challenge to get off the ground. A bit offtopic but I do think he has been spoiled by all I have done for him and hes doesnt show much gratitude. I do believe that is my fault because I have been serving him (in the bible sense) like he is and he's not lol.
I believe that I'm happy. There are certain ways I want him to be but like everyone has said I doubt he will change. But I got to thinking about it and who knows if the grass is greener on the other side. I'm just not sure. I'm definitely not sure where I stand now. I think selfishly I want someone who's crazy about me and wants to kiss on me all the time. But I feel dumb wanting that bc 1.) I have other important things in my life that need my attention and kissing/sex stuff definitely shouldnt be my focus and 2.) I dont even though if what I want exists. It could be a fantasy type deal. If my boyfriend showed more emotion was nicer to me and touched me more I think he would be the perfect guy. And yeah I guess you're right sex HAS turned my brain to mush. Hes just my first and that has always been so special to me.
Ty for the advice you have given me lots to think about.
I believe that I'm happy. There are certain ways I want him to be but like everyone has said I doubt he will change. But I got to thinking about it and who knows if the grass is greener on the other side. I'm just not sure. I'm definitely not sure where I stand now. I think selfishly I want someone who's crazy about me and wants to kiss on me all the time. But I feel dumb wanting that bc 1.) I have other important things in my life that need my attention and kissing/sex stuff definitely shouldnt be my focus and 2.) I dont even though if what I want exists. It could be a fantasy type deal. If my boyfriend showed more emotion was nicer to me and touched me more I think he would be the perfect guy. And yeah I guess you're right sex HAS turned my brain to mush. Hes just my first and that has always been so special to me.
Ty for the advice you have given me lots to think about.
If you're considering marriage, kissing/sex stuff should be your focus. Otherwise, why would you get married? If the kissing/sex stuff are deeply unsatisfactory (your needs are getting ignored and you're told they're inappropriate, for example), you shouldn't be thinking about marriage or even a long term relationship.
It's not selfish to want someone who wants to show you affection. It's normal for humans.
What you want is out there. Men who like to kiss and hug women, and do foreplay are definitely out there. Even men who like those things AND who will treat you well. Good luck.
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Haha
