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I read the novel, it didn't turn out the way the guy wanted.
A silver-tongued devil is someone who through flattery and slickness of speech seeks to deceive others for their own gain. Looks like she's on to you. :-)
Hate to say it, but maybe they "talked and cried together" over a common subject...brought up by wife...
Seperation, mistress ( recommended by my Doctor), arranged affair, as in Buffit case, these are all options. It's time for everyone to put the honesty cards on the table!
If you are going to pursue this woman to the point of a permanent relationship, you'd better start thinking seriously about everything, including what happens if she turns you down and you are left in an embarrassing situation with bad feelings all around. Wife may not leave her friend but she would probably leave you and then you're really alone.
Address the issue of why wife is cold and that takes sitting down and talking. Maybe in the course of that conversation you'll come to a mutual agreement to divorce. She's probably hanging on in limbo like you are.
One thing for sure, any respectable widow (or otherwise) is not going to accept any advances from her woman-friend's husband. If she is, what kind of character does that reveal. Wait till you're free and then ask advice on how to approach the widow.
If you are going to pursue this woman to the point of a permanent relationship, you'd better start thinking seriously about everything, including what happens if she turns you down and you are left in an embarrassing situation with bad feelings all around. Wife may not leave her friend but she would probably leave you and then you're really alone.
Address the issue of why wife is cold and that takes sitting down and talking. Maybe in the course of that conversation you'll come to a mutual agreement to divorce. She's probably hanging on in limbo like you are.
One thing for sure, any respectable widow (or otherwise) is not going to accept any advances from her woman-friend's husband. If she is, what kind of character does that reveal. Wait till you're free and then ask advice on how to approach the widow.
There are other options as presented here. Could wife be Gay? Who knows,if she is it's been a master coverup like I have never seen, but it is possable I guess. We tried a counciler, she went once I think, I continued for 6 mo. No help, she did not want anyone invading her private life, including me!
There are other options as presented here. Could wife be Gay? Who knows,if she is it's been a master coverup like I have never seen, but it is possable I guess. We tried a counciler, she went once I think, I continued for 6 mo. No help, she did not want anyone invading her private life, including me!
So what's wrong with divorce? Half of marriages end in it. If it's a business arrangement, know that many divorced couples carry on in business and often do quite well operating that way. One wonders why you aren't taking the bull by the horns with the marriage, FIRST. Fantasy is for young people, not those our age. If you want to make something better happen you have to do it rationally and with honor (imo), even if it could be messy on some level. Courage.
There are other options as presented here. Could wife be Gay? Who knows,if she is it's been a master coverup like I have never seen, but it is possable I guess. We tried a counciler, she went once I think, I continued for 6 mo. No help, she did not want anyone invading her private life, including me!
Wife's not gay. Wife is just over 'it' with you, as she said. How much younger than you is she?? Did you ever have children with her??
Although, I don't think age is the issue - unless she's still in her 50's - then age may be an issue. Otherwise, the issue is - you've been together too long - familiarity and all that. Especially, if there are no children, may be time for both of you to travel another road.
But - if you have kids and grandkids, well, then, I would think neither of you would want to start over at this age. Family is much too important, imo.
One more thought...I've seen it happen more than once that in a dysfunctional marriage one partner "gets attracted" to the friend of the other partner. That makes for a "safe" fantasy that keeps the circle of main characters close and seemingly okay, until a wrong move is made. This can backfire and leave a bit of a mess. Why not have that conversation soon.
So what's wrong with divorce? Half of marriages end in it. If it's a business arrangement, know that many divorced couples carry on in business and often do quite well operating that way. One wonders why you aren't taking the bull by the horns with the marriage, FIRST. Fantasy is for young people, not those our age. If you want to make something better happen you have to do it rationally and with honor (imo), even if it could be messy on some level. Courage.
No one wants to be left alone in retirement. That's part of the problem. She is not retired, controls all the money , buys fun big boy toys when I get to close to the subject of divorce. For five of those years I spent building a new retirement house., busy everyday.. We all like our fantasy's too , but I know you are right all along.........I will need a real good law firm !
Wife's not gay. Wife is just over 'it' with you, as she said. How much younger than you is she?? Did you ever have children with her??
Although, I don't think age is the issue - unless she's still in her 50's - then age may be an issue. Otherwise, the issue is - you've been together too long - familiarity and all that. Especially, if there are no children, may be time for both of you to travel another road.
But - if you have kids and grandkids, well, then, I would think neither of you would want to start over at this age. Family is much too important, imo.
No kids , she is 65 and says she will have to work till she dies to keep us in the accustomed mode. I no longer generate income, that stopped several years ago. She could try a fast one and say she will distroy the business if I become a problem.......yes, I have done this before 40 years ago, same thing.....some Guys never learn.
She is not retired, controls all the money , buys fun big boy toys when I get to close to the subject of divorce.
I will need a real good law firm !
Yep, you'll need a good lawyer - she'll be plenty damn mad - even without involvement of widow lady.
Quote:
Originally Posted by darstar
No kids , she is 65 and says she will have to work till she dies to keep us in the accustomed mode. I no longer generate income, that stopped several years ago. She could try a fast one and say she will distroy the business if I become a problem.......yes, I have done this before 40 years ago, same thing.....some Guys never learn.
Well, it always comes down to money in the end, doesn't it? Seems like your loss/abdication of control over the money coincides with the demise of your marital happiness.
No advice at this point, except first be sure you know where ALL the money is - and try to secure control over your share of it before the fray begins - if you decide to go that route.
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