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You're fantasizing about leaving your wife of 37 years who is your source of financial support, to take up with her good friend, a wealthy woman whose husband recently died.
How long should you wait before approaching her? Heck, approach her right now. Then report back on how that works out for you.
So you are saying it's more than intentions , feelings, honesty, and everything depends on a PC of paper lodged at the Court House., even for Seniors , some of them finding comfort in a nice lady in their time of need.? I can not agree with such a broad statement.
The honesty thing is a big issue and dissolving that 'piece of paper' indicates some honesty.
I was 14 the first time I heard "My wife doesn't understand me" (supposed reason for being out catting around).
Oh, she understood him quite well...left the bastard after she had the baby.
"Sorry Charlie". You just aren't going to come out of this smelling good...not from us women.
Some of you posters are trying to put me on trial for something I never did. You seem blinded by how things worked out for you, or didn't. Don't judge everything by your narrow standards, love, romance, affairs of the heart can get very complicated . The other thing is the widow has her own mind, a very smart one at that. You can not speek for her or how she feels. It's obvious her plan not to make any major decisions for one year is a good one.
Some of you posters are trying to put me on trial for something I never did. You seem blinded by how things worked out for you, or didn't. Don't judge everything by your narrow standards, love, romance, affairs of the heart can get very complicated . The other thing is the widow has her own mind, a very smart one at that. You can not speek for her or how she feels. It's obvious her plan not to make any major decisions for one year is a good one.
This isn't complicated or romantic. I'm sure it feels nice to frame it in those terms rather than in terms of the cold hard facts, but the bottom line is you're afraid to leave your wife because she's the breadwinner and you'd take a hit financially, so despite your dissatisfaction in your marriage, you won't move on until you have something new and wealthy lined up. The heart wants what it wants, but so does the pocketbook, apparently.
Leaving a marriage because it's not working is one thing. Only leaving the marriage if you can jump to an "upgrade" is quite another. It's sleazy and I seriously doubt that if this woman is as smart and classy as you describe her she'll cooperate with it.
This isn't complicated or romantic. I'm sure it feels nice to frame it in those terms rather than in terms of the cold hard facts, but the bottom line is you're afraid to leave your wife because she's the breadwinner and you'd take a hit financially, so despite your dissatisfaction in your marriage, you won't move on until you have something new and wealthy lined up. The heart wants what it wants, but so does the pocketbook, apparently.
Leaving a marriage because it's not working is one thing. Only leaving the marriage if you can jump to an "upgrade" is quite another. It's sleazy and I seriously doubt that if this woman is as smart and classy as you describe her she'll cooperate with it.
No , you are all wrong here. First, I have strong feelings for the women I spent 37 years with. The question is she has changed in a big way the last 10 years. Stating she " has no romantic interest in me anymore." What do you expect me too do ?. I know if it was 20 years ago the papers would be on her desk in a flash, but it's not.Can you not see any married red blooded man being denied sex and the feelings that go with it for over 10 years? Especially when the relationship is good in all other ways ? Something is very wrong here, and I don't think it's me.
Yes, something is wrong, but until you are free of this marriage, to approach any other woman for 'comfort' (as you put it) implies no commitment on your part other than a casual roll in the hay when the mood strikes. There are some women who are happy with arrangements like this, others who find it insulting and demeaning. Have you considered moving to The Villages in FL. I understand - from threads on this board - there are many free spirits and open marriages down there. Only half-kidding.
Seriously, you have a legitimate complaint - but, the resolution lies in divorce and then honest reestablishment of a better relationship after that divorce with someone more compatible.
No , you are all wrong here. First, I have strong feelings for the women I spent 37 years with. The question is she has changed in a big way the last 10 years. Stating she " has no romantic interest in me anymore." What do you expect me too do ?. I know if it was 20 years ago the papers would be on her desk in a flash, but it's not.Can you not see any married red blooded man being denied sex and the feelings that go with it for over 10 years? Especially when the relationship is good in all other ways ? Something is very wrong here, and I don't think it's me.
Then you divorce her! You don't just hang around without sex just because she's the moneymaker, waiting to get you a little piece on the side.
Yes, something is wrong, but until you are free of this marriage, to approach any other woman for 'comfort' (as you put it) implies no commitment on your part other than a casual roll in the hay when the mood strikes. There are some women who are happy with arrangements like this, others who find it insulting and demeaning. Have you considered moving to The Villages in FL. I understand - from threads on this board - there are many free spirits and open marriages down there. Only half-kidding.
Seriously, you have a legitimate complaint - but, the resolution lies in divorce and then honest reestablishment of a better relationship after that divorce with someone more compatible.
jm2c
Good post and I agree.......except for the fact I would be leaving my partner for 37 years, personal and I am sure business to. If she is happy the way things are now then why should I not stay and take a mistress or girlfriend . She can not have it both ways.....or can she ? That's my next step, the confronting her with such a plan.........we will see then where she is coming from., maybe. It's very tough living with a closed person when it comes to your relationship.
Then you divorce her! You don't just hang around without sex just because she's the moneymaker, waiting to get you a little piece on the side.
That's what I keep telling myself.
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