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She moves faster than you do, so she was ready for a kiss before you were. She stupidly took that to mean you're a lousy kisser, and is writing you off because of it.
You don't need someone that shallow. Try again with someone else who's closer to being on your page.
I agree trying to get involved with people from work is generally a bad idea you should aim to avoid, like smoking, eating fast food and drinking to excess, but reality is people do it all the time and sometimes get away with it despite the risks.
That's just an excuse though. The main issue here is you blew it somehow and she axed you from consideration from naked time with her. Sometimes young ladies with take it upon themselves to become "interested" in you for whatever reason and will extend the olive branch, but don't take it too personally. They always have their eye on somebody and are basically just giving you a try-out just like a basketball coach does before he determines whether you make the cut or not. She will feign to be nice to you and give you lip service but really just wants you to go away. Your potentially collaborative relationship has turned into a mildly sour and adversarial one, so your best bet is to punt and not pay them any attention. She didn't do you any favors, so you absolutely should not feel put upon to do her any, which includes being her buddy at work or outside of it.
This girl was in the driver's seat the entire time. Now she stopped the car and told you to get out. What do you do? What choices do you think you have?
This girl was in the driver's seat the entire time. Now she stopped the car and told you to get out. What do you do? What choices do you think you have?
haha. We've all been there. I picture Julia Roberts pulling up in George Constanza's Lotus on Hollywood Blvd whenever I read one like this, or experience it first hand. You've been taken for a ride through girl-world and all the crazy tire-squealing chaos that exists in it.
So I've met a girl at work around 3 weeks ago was not really interested in a relationship or anything at that time but she seemed interested, cute and funny.
2 days later she asked me to help our pick some gifts for her parents as she was going on holidays the next day. So i went and helped her out and had a lot of fun (both of us). She started saying she was single and seemed interested in me
Because she is.
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Originally Posted by RawrDinosaur210
but she was leaving in holiday for 2 weeks the next day so i asked her out when she was coming back and she immediately said yes.
She had/has High interest.
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Originally Posted by RawrDinosaur210
All good Next 2 weeks while she was on holiday (back in her home country) we chatted for hours everyday and i really felt like we had a connection. We were pretty hooked up. Everything seemed so perfect and real ... then **** happened.
Destroyed your mystery, became too available, and you made her the center of your world. You failed, she's pretty much lost attraction for you it's only a matter of time before she disappears or acts "weird" as you pointed out..
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Originally Posted by RawrDinosaur210
She came back from holiday we went out all day skating, bowling , ice cream, arcade games. While we where at the arcade games she grabbed me and told me follow me and she dragged me to a photo booth where we had our first kiss. I had to admit i wasn't my best kiss and i didn't felt in 9th heaven but i was still happy with it. Then we where on our way back home and dunno how the weed subject came up and she invited me over to her house to smoke some.
Being "Surprised" when a girl gives you a kiss can actually work against you, especially if you have been making yourself look like a smooth dude.
I refuse to comment on the weed part.
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Originally Posted by RawrDinosaur210
Everything was going good , we went to her house smoked (tbh i'm not a regular smoker) so i got pretty high and she (regular smoker) didn't. Went back to her room chatted a bit , listen to some music then being so high and over to her place wanted some action since she asked me to her place and i was so high ! She politely declined me saying it's going to fast and she want to know me better. I was ok with that np. Asked for a hug and she gave me a big one.
Did you literally "Ask" her? That's where you drew the line, you don't "ask" you kind of just "do." Not in a rapey sense but in a more subtle smooth way. This girl obviously wanted to get down with you until you basically screwed it up by "asking."
And you were okay with that..? So that means you stopped all forms of escalation, weak or not, therefore giving her a lot of power that she most likely finds unattractive simply because she now knows you're a weak male.
You "asking" for a hug was the nail in the friendzone coffin- also known as little game coffin my friend.
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Originally Posted by RawrDinosaur210
Then i hit me even harder couldn't even walk back home (40 min walk) she had some strong ****, so i was like sitting there going through every possible idea i ever had in my head. Waiting for the effect to go off . She started arranging the room, listen and sing to music then we both got bored and was a awkward silence for a while then i finally ringed a mate to come pick me up. When i left from her place she briefly gave me a short hug and said bye ... was a bit bummed but ehh w/e .. We'll sort things out the next day, i say.
Fire kush, blueberry kush, or Alaskin thunder F***? Nah just kidding, for a non smoker you'll get high fast regardless of the type of weed. You were in the ZONE man, all mellowed out.
I mean at least she got you high! What a buddy!
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Originally Posted by RawrDinosaur210
Next day we chatted on facebook , i apoligiesed for the night before and she seemed a bit off .. Asked what was up and she told me: ' i felt that our first kiss is was not for each other.. ' that i kiss some much differit then her but next to that she likes me and had fun with me .. It might not been my best kiss, nor am i good kisser or w/e but seriously ?!? Not that experienced with womans but c'mon !!
Apologized for what?
You know when clueless guys think there is something "off" with a girl they're seeing they immediately start apologizing as if the girl consciously knows what he did "wrong."
It wasn't the kiss that killed it, it was that weak and needy behavior you showed her. When a girl says: "I felt our kiss didn't connect us/didn't feel right!" it actually means that you were showing her weak and needy behavior that she found unattractive. You were not a leader, you were not confident in yourself, you were not dominant enough, and you didn't know how to properly escalate. This failure was all on you my friend.
I mean, you did apologize for basically no reason. Do you think guys who are confident in their sexuality/"game" apologize for their escalation attempts? Nope.
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Originally Posted by RawrDinosaur210
I was speechless !! And asked her how to fix things .. What can i do !?! Coz i like her and wanted to be all good with us. She then replies: I dont know. I dont wanna **** ur brain. I dont even know what have now. After that complete silence ... I was pretty bummed and didn't know what to do.
Now you're just... Not even sure what word to use. It's over dude. In your last desperation attempt you "ask" her what to do, probably the most unattractive thing a guy can do.
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Originally Posted by RawrDinosaur210
Next day we barely spoke small thing to each other on fb. Then she says maybe we should be just friends but still hang out coz she had fun with me.
I was ok if that's what u want np ..
FRIEND ZONED!
or
NO "GAME" ZONE!
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Originally Posted by RawrDinosaur210
And now i have to see her 5/7 days at work ....... And she's still chatty and giggling like nothing happened. Whaaat the f*** was i suposed to do / say !?!
Any guidance on this would be appreciated, even if it is to tell me i'm a retarded. Thank you for having the patience to read all of it !
Do what she's doing, act like nothing happened. Especially since she works with you; you wouldn't want an uncomfortable work place would you? I mean she did smoke you out so you now know that she's got the herbs. Also, see other girls and don't focus on her. I would treat her like a friend, every girl always has hot friends anyways, and be on of her smoke buddies. Stoner girls have some cute/hot friend I'll tell you that. Also, you need to improve yourself. Your lack of confidence stood out very clearly.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
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Re reading this I'm just perplexed. She invited you over to smoke, you guys smoked up, and you called someone to pick you up? How the heck did you not end up listening to tunes and making out?
I don't get kids these days.
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