Can older virgins find true love? (how to, marriage, woman, statistics)
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But being a virgin is not something to be shame of. My aunt was 40 when she lost her virginity by my uncle. [Snip.]
I agree. but sadly, virgins aren't thought of highly, least on this forum it seems where I have read
1. Nobody wants virgins-they're duds in bed.
2. Older virgins are crazy and will get obsessive when they 1st have sex, thinking they saved a rare gem.
3. Older virgins had mental issues, or some bad flaws, because nobody wanted them
People complain about sloot shaming, but I see more virgin-shaming really. With people saying the above, plus preferring someone who's slept around because virgins are uptight, and don't know anything. Etc.
SO, if the older-virgin-shaming is like this forum irl, and people have heard these, they probably get discouraged.
But I agree with Ruth. I think someone would be able to tell if you're inexperienced. but if you're looking for a relationship, by the time they find out you're a virgin, or need to know, they should already have fallen for you regardless. And if they run off after the virgin discussion, then they probably weren't keepers for them anyhow.
I agree. but sadly, virgins aren't thought of highly, least on this forum it seems where I have read
1. Nobody wants virgins-they're duds in bed.
2. Older virgins are crazy and will get obsessive when they 1st have sex, thinking they saved a rare gem.
3. Older virgins had mental issues, or some bad flaws, because nobody wanted them
People complain about sloot shaming, but I see more virgin-shaming really. With people saying the above, plus preferring someone who's slept around because virgins are uptight, and don't know anything. Etc.
SO, if the older-virgin-shaming is like this forum irl, and people have heard these, they probably get discouraged.
But I agree with Ruth. I think someone would be able to tell if you're inexperienced. but if you're looking for a relationship, by the time they find out you're a virgin, or need to know, they should already have fallen for you regardless. And if they run off after the virgin discussion, then they probably weren't keepers for them anyhow.
That is well true. My uncle went through also a hard time with her in the first few years. But now they are doing well.
So if you end up still a virgin in your 20's, 30's, 40's or older, do you think it's still possible to find true love? Or is the most you can hope fore is someone who can tolerate you and provide some companionship? Is there a point where you just end up missing the train?
Most virgins in the 30's and 40's are not attractive, in my experience. That isn't saying they won't find true love, they might. In my experience "true love" is rare, even for the beautiful people.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Memphis1979
Most virgins in the 30's and 40's are not attractive, in my experience. That isn't saying they won't find true love, they might. In my experience "true love" is rare, even for the beautiful people.
They're just incredibly incredibly rare. It's only about 4%, and how many of those are social people you'd meet out and about? Very very few of that tiny pool. I mean, 85% of people have had sex by 21.
This forum seems to attract the fringe. Perhaps most online forums do.
I agree. but sadly, virgins aren't thought of highly, least on this forum it seems where I have read
1. Nobody wants virgins-they're duds in bed.
2. Older virgins are crazy and will get obsessive when they 1st have sex, thinking they saved a rare gem.
3. Older virgins had mental issues, or some bad flaws, because nobody wanted them
People complain about sloot shaming, but I see more virgin-shaming really. With people saying the above, plus preferring someone who's slept around because virgins are uptight, and don't know anything. Etc.
SO, if the older-virgin-shaming is like this forum irl, and people have heard these, they probably get discouraged.
But I agree with Ruth. I think someone would be able to tell if you're inexperienced. but if you're looking for a relationship, by the time they find out you're a virgin, or need to know, they should already have fallen for you regardless. And if they run off after the virgin discussion, then they probably weren't keepers for them anyhow.
Like always,
I agree with everything VC just said. Being an older virgin is grounds for ridicule and persecution in terms of dating. At least on here anywhere. From what the guys say around where I live, they want a virgin simply because they want to be her "first" or they feel she is pure, which still isn't am excuse.
I really don't get why there is such a stigma attached to each sexual status. Unfortunately a lot of people seem to go by statistics like the one Timberline posted and societal "norms" and try to single out those who are "different." It's honestly really childish and really shouldn't be anyone's business.
I understand folks have preferences but when it's based on ignorance, I think they need a reality check.
By the time I discovered whether or not my wife was a virgin it was a moot point. And if someone is willing to consider that fact in their emotional equation, it's probably best to keep moving along.
I agree. but sadly, virgins aren't thought of highly, least on this forum it seems where I have read
1. Nobody wants virgins-they're duds in bed.
2. Older virgins are crazy and will get obsessive when they 1st have sex, thinking they saved a rare gem.
3. Older virgins had mental issues, or some bad flaws, because nobody wanted them
People complain about sloot shaming, but I see more virgin-shaming really. With people saying the above, plus preferring someone who's slept around because virgins are uptight, and don't know anything. Etc.
SO, if the older-virgin-shaming is like this forum irl, and people have heard these, they probably get discouraged.
But I agree with Ruth. I think someone would be able to tell if you're inexperienced. but if you're looking for a relationship, by the time they find out you're a virgin, or need to know, they should already have fallen for you regardless. And if they run off after the virgin discussion, then they probably weren't keepers for them anyhow.
Im glad one women gets it and it is worse in real life trust me I know.
I agree. but sadly, virgins aren't thought of highly, least on this forum it seems where I have read
1. Nobody wants virgins-they're duds in bed.
2. Older virgins are crazy and will get obsessive when they 1st have sex, thinking they saved a rare gem.
3. Older virgins had mental issues, or some bad flaws, because nobody wanted them
People complain about sloot shaming, but I see more virgin-shaming really. With people saying the above, plus preferring someone who's slept around because virgins are uptight, and don't know anything. Etc.
SO, if the older-virgin-shaming is like this forum irl, and people have heard these, they probably get discouraged.
But I agree with Ruth. I think someone would be able to tell if you're inexperienced. but if you're looking for a relationship, by the time they find out you're a virgin, or need to know, they should already have fallen for you regardless. And if they run off after the virgin discussion, then they probably weren't keepers for them anyhow.
Excellent point! Esp the male virgins-they really do take a hit here at times. It's a shame cause I never had an issue with dating a virgin. But on the flip side, if she's been heavily sexually active since 13, that might be a concern also.
It's never too late. How would anyone know you're a virgin, anyway? By the time they've fallen for your charms, they're already hooked. Unless they're incredibly shallow, they won't care.
They should care, and they are not shallow for not wanting a virgin.
Why on earth would you want somebody who no sexual experience and is thus likely not to be sexually compatible with you? Sex is an important part of a relationship.
I'm 28 year old virgin, I know damn right a lot of women my age will be put off by that, but there's nothing wrong with them thinking that way, if I'm so far behind my peers in terms of sexual experience then thats ultimately that's the price I must pay and my options are limited, if not virtually non existent.
I've accepted now there's a very good chance I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life, but I wont be the first and I certainly wont be the last if that is to be the case.
I'm not closing the door completely on it either mind, but if I've got to 28 being nowhere near close, then you have to accept some form of reality that it might not happen.
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