Young woman sleeping with older man...unfamiliar territory for me. (wife, lover)
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Wait a second.......how is everyone here so certain that this guy is using the OP? Not saying that this isn't a possibility, but isn't it just as possible that this guy genuinely likes her but wasn't necessarily interested in any kind of serious commitment at the outset of this (when the OP wasn't interested in any commitment either) but might be feeling more now, too?
If he's seeing you 3-4 times per week and helping with things he at least sees you as a good friend. If you want to find out exactly how he views the relationship and where it's going, ask him. Sit down and have a direct conversation about where you both stand. If it doesn't work for you at that point, end it.
He's introduced her to other chicks he bangs. Enough said.
I can't judge his motives. I'm not as clever as the posters who can.
I think it's time to tell him how you feel, given what you have stated about your feelings. You have nothing to lose, do you?
Why not just walk away? I do Not recommend that because in some cases both partners in your situation want more than just sex and are afraid to show their feelings of love or affection, once they have established a "just sex" arrangement.
He's introduced her to other chicks he bangs. Enough said.
Good point. However, he might be doing that because she has made it clear she doesn't want commitment, so he's hedging his bets a bit, by not only enjoying other side girls, but flaunting them.
Or, he could just be enjoying the ride. We really can't know.
Good point. However, he might be doing that because she has made it clear she doesn't want commitment, so he's hedging his bets a bit, by not only enjoying other side girls, but flaunting them.
Or, he could just be enjoying the ride. We really can't know.
He's introduced her to other chicks he bangs. Enough said.
Maybe he is simply polyamorous? He may really care about all of these women. Now that is hard for some people to grasp, but its not unknown to exist.
The OP is saying "I don't know if I have feelings for him, I'm 60% sure I don't" WTF? No, the OP has issues, daddy issues would be my first thought. Maybe her dad wasn't there for her when she was young, maybe he was abusive, maybe he sat a bad example for her on how to treat women, who knows. Thats why I suggest a trained counselor for her.
She needs to sort out her own mind, before trying to figure out what is going on in the mind of other people.
Maybe he is simply polyamorous? He may really care about all of these women. Now that is hard for some people to grasp, but its not unknown to exist.
The OP is saying "I don't know if I have feelings for him, I'm 60% sure I don't" WTF? No, the OP has issues, daddy issues would be my first thought. Maybe her dad wasn't there for her when she was young, maybe he was abusive, maybe he sat a bad example for her on how to treat women, who knows. Thats why I suggest a trained counselor for her.
She needs to sort out her own mind, before trying to figure out what is going on in the mind of other people.
No strings attached sex is using someone. You are using someone for sex and maybe some companionship. It doesn't depend on gender. It's not even a bad thing if both partners agree.
It's just an extended one night stand with a bit of friendship thrown in.
Being Polyamorous is having a non monogamous long term relationship with multiple partners, where sex is not always the only aim. That's different from FWBs.
No strings attached sex is using someone. You are using someone for sex and maybe some companionship. It doesn't depend on gender. It's not even a bad thing if both partners agree.
It's just an extended one night stand with a bit of friendship thrown in.
Being Polyamorous is having a non monogamous long term relationship with multiple partners, where sex is not always the only aim. That's different from FWBs.
It sounds like he is keeping relationships with these women, and introducing them to one another to me, from what the OP said.
The emotional component is missing, which is a big part of polyamory. Usually polyamorous people define their relationship. This relationship is a looser version of being FWBs.
Why can't this generation of women understand...he's using you. He is not in a relationship with you, but he gets sex and company as often as he wants it.
This is not fulfilling you emotionally.
You need to DTR or get out.
They are using each other. I fail to see how it's one sided. She made it quite clear it was a casual arrangement and expected to get tired of him. How you arrive at the conclusion that he is using her with no mention of the fact that she is also using him is beyond me.
This is a classic case of trying to compartmentalize sex and control what / how one feels. What this 24 year old woman doesn't realize is she is gradually eroding away her ability to bond and have anything meaningful later on in life. Just another casulty of the hookup culture here really.
The emotional component is missing, which is a big part of polyamory.
How do you know? You aren't in this relationship. It sounds like he has cared for her, done things for her, and helped taken some of her problems as his own. Perhaps he does that for the other women as well.
That is how, some men, express emotions and feelings, by helping to take care of you.
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