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Old 09-29-2014, 09:57 AM
 
7,370 posts, read 4,233,530 times
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After my last thread regarding giving up on online dating, I did just that and quit. A few days later a guy I grew up with reached out to me. I have had a crush in him since we were teens and he admitted he has had an interest in me for awhile as well. We went on a dinner date the next night and since then he stops at my house most evenings between 8-11. He cuddles on the couch with me and we talk and watch tv. He does hold my hand, hugs me tight, kisses, etc. He stays until he is about ready to fall asleep and then drives himself home. He often texts me first thing in the morning and he has invited me to stop in a bar where he was hanging out with coworkers. This has been happening a few weeks. I already know his family, and his parents have always liked me. Sounds great except....

I can't figure him out and what his feelings towards me are. For instance, other than him stopping in most evenings when he is close to dead tired, I don't see him. Now I get he has kids and we work during the day. But shouldn't he want to see me some other time besides this cuddle time most nights, like day time on a weekend? He did go to church with his ex girlfriend yesterday. We have talked about her, and he states they are just friends. Granted we are not in an exclusive relationship so he does not have to justify his whereabouts and activities to me. Last night I told him that I don't know to get attached to him being around or not and he responded that I can get attached to him, but what is he saying?

My daughter asked him to come over for dinner one evening and to help her with homework. He did come over. And before anyone says she should not be around him, she already knows him. He is related to my ex husband and we all grew up in the same small town.

So is his actions normal for dating a friend you have known most of your life? Should I expect him to want to spend other time with me, or is this evening cuddle time what he considers quality time? I just don't know.. What do you all say.

I don't even know what to call this. Does not seem like a relationship quite yet, so I am calling it "hanging out" for lack of a better term.
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Old 09-29-2014, 10:19 AM
 
3,311 posts, read 3,557,224 times
Reputation: 5577
Sounds good so far, all I can say is suggesting to him maybe a specific event on a Saturday day. Hey, old friend, you want to go to the Harvest Festival this weekend? Out in public? Together?
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Old 09-29-2014, 10:22 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 3,084,730 times
Reputation: 4286
Sounds good !
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Old 09-29-2014, 11:01 AM
 
12,344 posts, read 13,591,828 times
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"How bout ya take me out on a real date cowboy?"
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Old 09-29-2014, 12:44 PM
 
Location: NYC
2,806 posts, read 3,045,423 times
Reputation: 4790
What happens after 11? He has to go home to his real family?
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Old 09-29-2014, 12:51 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,663 times
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some sounds good
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Old 09-29-2014, 01:00 PM
 
3,050 posts, read 2,648,693 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
"How bout ya take me out on a real date cowboy?"
Yep.

It's nice that he is making time for you, but make him take you out instead of sitting at home with you. That stuff is OK once you've been dating a few times, but it sounds like he has things out of order.
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Old 09-29-2014, 01:08 PM
 
7,370 posts, read 4,233,530 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adhom View Post
What happens after 11? He has to go home to his real family?
Lol. I get where you might have this conclusion but I assure you he does not have a real family waiting at home. I know his family well and do have the inside information of his personal life. Just as he has always known mine.

I have two kids, so he does not spend the night.
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Old 09-29-2014, 01:30 PM
 
3,050 posts, read 2,648,693 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Lol. I get where you might have this conclusion but I assure you he does not have a real family waiting at home. I know his family well and do have the inside information of his personal life. Just as he has always known mine.

I have two kids, so he does not spend the night.
Has he taken you out, other than to hang out at home?
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Old 09-29-2014, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Ohio
1,395 posts, read 1,142,714 times
Reputation: 1540
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
After my last thread regarding giving up on online dating, I did just that and quit. A few days later a guy I grew up with reached out to me. I have had a crush in him since we were teens and he admitted he has had an interest in me for awhile as well. We went on a dinner date the next night and since then he stops at my house most evenings between 8-11. He cuddles on the couch with me and we talk and watch tv. He does hold my hand, hugs me tight, kisses, etc. He stays until he is about ready to fall asleep and then drives himself home. He often texts me first thing in the morning and he has invited me to stop in a bar where he was hanging out with coworkers. This has been happening a few weeks. I already know his family, and his parents have always liked me. Sounds great except....

I can't figure him out and what his feelings towards me are. For instance, other than him stopping in most evenings when he is close to dead tired, I don't see him. Now I get he has kids and we work during the day. But shouldn't he want to see me some other time besides this cuddle time most nights, like day time on a weekend? He did go to church with his ex girlfriend yesterday. We have talked about her, and he states they are just friends. Granted we are not in an exclusive relationship so he does not have to justify his whereabouts and activities to me. Last night I told him that I don't know to get attached to him being around or not and he responded that I can get attached to him, but what is he saying?

My daughter asked him to come over for dinner one evening and to help her with homework. He did come over. And before anyone says she should not be around him, she already knows him. He is related to my ex husband and we all grew up in the same small town.

So is his actions normal for dating a friend you have known most of your life? Should I expect him to want to spend other time with me, or is this evening cuddle time what he considers quality time? I just don't know.. What do you all say.

I don't even know what to call this. Does not seem like a relationship quite yet, so I am calling it "hanging out" for lack of a better term.
It's hard to say what the deal is with the ex, but since you're not exclusive (yet?) I wouldn't get too upset.

It might just be that he has issues finding a babysitter on weekend days - have you asked him? How old are his kids?
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