Why ask if I'm mad when you know I am? (women, conversation)

[NewHavensFinest]

I don't get why this happens. You can clearly see on my face I'm not happy about it, but you still ask me if I'm mad.

The way I see it is, sure I'm a little mad about your decision. You should do what makes you happy anyways.

What are women looking for when they ask this question?
-I don't care do what you want. ( potentially makng the problem worse)
-Yes I'm mad about your decision. (Making the problem worse)
- No I'm not mad have fun. ( making the problem worse)

Unless of course you're mad about something and truly don't care.

[lovesMountains]

Okay then

Feel better?

Or are you still mad?

[Memphis1979]

Perhaps its better to ask, "Why are you mad?" Instead of "Are you mad?" But really, aren't they the same question?

[NewHavensFinest]

No I'm not mad anymore I just think it's a dumb thing to ask

[CarbonCountyLiving]

Women are asking for the same thing men are asking for when they ask this question: communication.

It's not that hard. Open up your mouth and saw why you are angry. If you don't want to talk or need some space to fume, tell her that.

Don't expect people to be psychics.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by NewHavensFinest

No I'm not mad anymore I just think it's a dumb thing to ask

Oh good

Basically people ask this "are you mad?" question to spark some conversation.

They know you ARE mad, but they don't know what to say to get you talking to them about it.

Some people also want validation that even if you are mad at them you don't hate them - it's a self-esteem thing.

[NMGPA]

Is this like when you stub your toe and you are howling and someone automatically asks are you ok?

[Zeurich]

I assume did not know that you were and asked? may be.

[elnina]

It's a beginning to warrant further investigation and possible nagging. Usually followed by question "Why?"

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by NewHavensFinest

I don't get why this happens. You can clearly see on my face I'm not happy about it, but you still ask me if I'm mad.

We're trying to get you to communicate verbally with us so we can talk things through like adults.