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I'm coming to the conclusion that most every person I have ever dated has skeletons in their past(often major) that they did not disclose early on, when they should have I'll say false advertising or burying the truth for fear of being rejected maybe?
A few incidences that I discovered later in a relationships that were not disclosed up front were a women who had a MFM with 2 Bi men(CDC high risk group), one that had an affair with a married man, one that was molested by her step dad, one that was addicted to coke when she was younger, and another that was from a family where many of them had done time in Prison.
I'm coming to the conclusion that most every person I have ever dated has skeletons
Try dating a jellyfish. Or, if you want to date someone who has a skeleton but wears it on the outside, try an arthropod. Their hard outer carapace should tell you all you need to know.
I have skeletons but I tend to disclose them early. I much rather someone reject me early because of my skeletons than someone rejecting me later on in the relationship because of my skeletons. One of the first things I disclose is that I'm a recovering alcoholic. I know that's a huge deal to alot of people so why hide it?
I'm coming to the conclusion that most every person I have ever dated has skeletons in their past(often major) that they did not disclose early on, when they should have I'll say false advertising or burying the truth for fear of being rejected maybe?
A few incidences that I discovered later in a relationships that were not disclosed up front were a women who had a MFM with 2 Bi men(CDC high risk group), one that had an affair with a married man, one that was molested by her step dad, one that was addicted to coke when she was younger, and another that was from a family where many of them had done time in Prison.
Anyone have similar experiences?
I believe we all have skeletons. What do you expect? A lot of women, including my closest friend have been through some crazy stuff. Also, are you holding their past against them? Why? There is nothing that they can do about it.
Are you looking for someone who has lived a perfect life and lived a perfect childhood. Also, if you met someone without skeletons, would you want that person? People without skeletons often turn out to be spineless.
Also, don't judge a person by the family that they were born into. Both of my parents have done time in jail, I was raised up in a home full of domestic violence, and was often times a crackhouse. Now, as for me, I have never done time in jail. A lot of people I know were addicted to crack, did meth and they have walked away from that lifestyle and have never done it again since. I take person as she is now, not on the basis of her past.
I'm coming to the conclusion that most every person I have ever dated has skeletons in their past(often major) that they did not disclose early on, when they should have I'll say false advertising or burying the truth for fear of being rejected maybe?
A few incidences that I discovered later in a relationships that were not disclosed up front were a women who had a MFM with 2 Bi men(CDC high risk group), one that had an affair with a married man, one that was molested by her step dad, one that was addicted to coke when she was younger, and another that was from a family where many of them had done time in Prison.
Anyone have similar experiences?
i'm sure many have had similiar experience that weren't disclosed.
one of our traditions in dating/relationships is you get to re-invent yourself for your next SO under the theory that you learn from your mistakes.... like revealing too much about your past, such as promiscuity or deviant or traumatic experiences, or other major life challenges. better for others to assume you had normal relationships and average life up until then otherwise your history will affect relationship potential. there are also the concepts of forgiveness and acceptance of one's self/imperfect past that are involved.
as a more mature man, i've learned that maintaining a deep core level of privacy (secretcy/mystery) is essential to my well being and, frankly, masculinity and identity. there are many many things i discuss online (or with therapists/healthcare professionals) that i would never ever disclose to an SO. and except when you place another's well being at risk, you absolutely have no duty or obligation to disclose those private matters with others, and only i and my maker will know and deal with them.
but i promise you that if those private matters are significant enough, they will surface, as you discovered. you can't always hide from your past.
Some of what you dub 'skeletons' to me aren't things that I would ever reveal early on in a relationship, may not reveal until a relationship feels permanent.
The affair with a married man - unless she makes a habit of it, or unless you thought she was a virgin, it's just another part of her past. The threesome girl? If she checks out as healthy, so what? The victim of molestation? Why on earth would anyone bring that up early in any relationship???
I think you are looking for a level of innocence you are unlikely to find in today's world.
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I'll say false advertising or burying the truth for fear of being rejected maybe? 
