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Just something my wife and I were discussing. We have good communication, but there was a discussion a few nights ago that I sometimes bring up things that I think *might* be a conflict beforehand, so as to head it off. She felt that I am creating problems that don't exist by doing this. We're good now, and it was just a minor discussion, but I wonder if there's something to that.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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I think she is probably right, and I'm guilty of this. It is a bit self defeatist / self sabotaging in nature, but we (or I) paint it in a guise of open/honest communication. It's a negativity thing that creeps in.
I think she is probably right, and I'm guilty of this. It is a bit self defeatist / self sabotaging in nature, but we (or I) paint it in a guise of open/honest communication. It's a negativity thing that creeps in.
I just feel it's easier than her getting pissed and me having to do damage control, but I see her point, too.
Because she has. Early in our relationship. Now I pretty much know what she will and won't be agreeable on, and vice versa, but I still feel compelled to discuss with her before I do some things. Mostly buying things or posting pictures on Facebook (because she's very private). 90% of the time my assumption is correct these days, but it's those 10% times I want to avoid.
Because she has. Early in our relationship. Now I pretty much know what she will and won't be agreeable on, and vice versa, but I still feel compelled to discuss with her before I do some things. Mostly buying things or posting pictures on Facebook (because she's very private). 90% of the time my assumption is correct these days, but it's those 10% times I want to avoid.
It depends on the nature of the issue you're raising. A major purchase? That should be discussed, if it impacts the household economy. A new suit? Meh. Generally I'm of the philosophy of--If It's Smooth Sailing, Why Rock The Boat? Unless you want to live in a rocky boat, I wouldn't advise it.
Preemptively tell her how when you drink, you lose self control with attractive women and to not hold it against you if anything happens because it's the alcohol.
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