Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-03-2014, 11:43 AM
 
Location: Ohio
1,724 posts, read 1,591,692 times
Reputation: 1891

Advertisements

Just something my wife and I were discussing. We have good communication, but there was a discussion a few nights ago that I sometimes bring up things that I think *might* be a conflict beforehand, so as to head it off. She felt that I am creating problems that don't exist by doing this. We're good now, and it was just a minor discussion, but I wonder if there's something to that.

What do you think?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-03-2014, 11:46 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,737,208 times
Reputation: 40634
I think she is probably right, and I'm guilty of this. It is a bit self defeatist / self sabotaging in nature, but we (or I) paint it in a guise of open/honest communication. It's a negativity thing that creeps in.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2014, 11:46 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,591,995 times
Reputation: 98359
"Might be a problem ..." such as ...?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2014, 11:46 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
545 posts, read 629,206 times
Reputation: 376
I agree this can create problems that don't exist.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2014, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Ohio
1,724 posts, read 1,591,692 times
Reputation: 1891
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I think she is probably right, and I'm guilty of this. It is a bit self defeatist / self sabotaging in nature, but we (or I) paint it in a guise of open/honest communication. It's a negativity thing that creeps in.
I just feel it's easier than her getting pissed and me having to do damage control, but I see her point, too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2014, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,591,995 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDave72 View Post
I just feel it's easier than her getting pissed and me having to do damage control, but I see her point, too.
Why do you assume she will get pissed?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2014, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Ohio
1,724 posts, read 1,591,692 times
Reputation: 1891
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Why do you assume she will get pissed?
Because she has. Early in our relationship. Now I pretty much know what she will and won't be agreeable on, and vice versa, but I still feel compelled to discuss with her before I do some things. Mostly buying things or posting pictures on Facebook (because she's very private). 90% of the time my assumption is correct these days, but it's those 10% times I want to avoid.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2014, 11:55 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,591,995 times
Reputation: 98359
Do you walk on eggshells a lot with her?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2014, 12:22 PM
 
4,038 posts, read 4,840,908 times
Reputation: 5352
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDave72 View Post
Because she has. Early in our relationship. Now I pretty much know what she will and won't be agreeable on, and vice versa, but I still feel compelled to discuss with her before I do some things. Mostly buying things or posting pictures on Facebook (because she's very private). 90% of the time my assumption is correct these days, but it's those 10% times I want to avoid.
It depends on the nature of the issue you're raising. A major purchase? That should be discussed, if it impacts the household economy. A new suit? Meh. Generally I'm of the philosophy of--If It's Smooth Sailing, Why Rock The Boat? Unless you want to live in a rocky boat, I wouldn't advise it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2014, 12:28 PM
 
Location: NYC
5,173 posts, read 4,628,844 times
Reputation: 7918
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
"Might be a problem ..." such as ...?
Preemptively tell her how when you drink, you lose self control with attractive women and to not hold it against you if anything happens because it's the alcohol.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top