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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost half a year. Recently we started to talk about moving in together and getting serious. Yay!!! Anyway to make a long story short, he recently was told that I was with a guy he's heard of. That guy has a rep and it's not good. He asked me if we dated and I said yes but that it didn't mean anything and was for a really short period of time. Of course he asked if I slept with him. I didn't want to lie so I said yes but again emphasized that it didn't mean anything. He then asked why we waited a while to get intimate and again I was truthful and told him I thought what we have is special and really meaningful so I didn't want to jump into "things" quickly.
He just doesn't seem to get this. He sees it sort of opposite and feels weird. I don't know how else to explain it to him. To the guys here, is this how guys think? Also, to the women here, how can I better explain it to him? It's sort of started to affect us and I want him and me to be like before.
The only thing I would have a problem with if I was your boyfriend is this. I don't get this female mindset of making the "nice guy" wait, but letting the guy you really don't like hit it quickly. Did he find out before or after yall got together, that you "dated" somebody he knew?
You can tell him that you have always heard that guys do not respect girls who put out too quickly, and the guys will often not want to be in a relationship with a girl like that. With the other guy you really didn't care about that because you weren't in love with him.
Then tell him that with him you were afraid he was going to look down on you and would not want to be with you in a relationship if you put out too quickly, so you waited because you totally love him unlike the other guy. Make sure to also add that you really, really wanted to have sex with him sooner, but because of all that other stuff you had to fight that urge, and tell him it was so hard doing that.
For some guys knowing that you've been intimate with a guy he knows is a little rougher... it makes easier if it's just some faceless dude that the he doesn't know.... not sure how to answer other than that.......
Agreed. He probably never would have gotten with her if he knew she banged some dude he knew.
I wonder if there is anything that is the reversal for women in this case? A man that has no problem taking another woman out to dinner and entertainment, but then is cheap as hell with you for the first 3 months because he thinks you are special?
Are you serious, women on here say a man is a loser if he even mentions they go dutch on the first date.
If your going to bs him, do it up right. Look dear, I figured a guy like you had been around the block and had tons of experience so I was apprehensive and nervous that my lack of experience would show, that's all.
Thank you. I needed a good laugh today, and I nearly fell off my chair guffawing at the stupidity and audacity of that little outburst. Were you wagging your finger at the monitor and typing with one hand when you wrote it? I can hear Eric Cartman from here. "Listen, Missy..."
At any rate, try to accept that some guys are for screwing and tossing aside, and some guys are relationship material.
Oh, wait, did that sound sexist?
Thanks for everyone's comments and suggestions. I think we're going to break up because he wants to break up. I quoted the part above because I actually tried to explain it to him like that. Problem is he freaked at that. He doesn't want to be the relationship guy who has to wait and he doesn't want to be with a girl that does that. I am like so depressed today.
As for him being immature and all that, whatever. I don't see him like that. It's more that he sees himself as I guess a sucker like some people said here whereas the other guy who's running his mouth "got it" no problem.
If your going to bs him, do it up right. Look dear, I figured a guy like you had been around the block and had tons of experience so I was apprehensive and nervous that my lack of experience would show, that's all.
I think I don't want to bs him. He really is a good guy and I think it's wrong to do that. Even though this is a pretty good line of reasoning I guess.
Thanks for everyone's comments and suggestions. I think we're going to break up because he wants to break up. I quoted the part above because I actually tried to explain it to him like that. Problem is he freaked at that. He doesn't want to be the relationship guy who has to wait and he doesn't want to be with a girl that does that. I am like so depressed today.
As for him being immature and all that, whatever. I don't see him like that. It's more that he sees himself as I guess a sucker like some people said here whereas the other guy who's running his mouth "got it" no problem.
This sounds like a reasonable response from a genuine, quality man. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you. I needed a good laugh today, and I nearly fell off my chair guffawing at the stupidity and audacity of that little outburst. Were you wagging your finger at the monitor and typing with one hand when you wrote it? I can hear Eric Cartman from here. "Listen, Missy..."
At any rate, try to accept that some guys are for screwing and tossing aside, and some guys are relationship material.
Oh, wait, did that sound sexist?
The guys that are relationship material (and who are wise to this) can and will do better than be with a woman that screws and tosses aside the guy that was not relationship material. Personally, I accept this notion just fine and it sounds like the OP's bf is starting to accept this as well, hence her feeling the need to rephrase what you just described to make it sound different.
So....what I got out of this thread is that if a woman likes a guy, she'll string him along for a good long while...but if she doesn't feel anything for a guy, she'll drop her pants at the first opportunity...
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