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Never say never. I have said "I will NEVER date a single father" and I ended up with two single fathers and I loved both of them and their kids.
My sister has made fun of me and my brother because she claimed that she would NEVER get emotionally involved with a person with kids. She ended up being a single mom herself. (I dated two single dads, my brother married one single mother, my other brother dated bunch of single moms. I guess we are all losers with no options in some people's eyes)
The bottom line is that nobody can predict the future. I would prefer NOT to date another single father because bonding with another woman's child seems impossible to me. But maybe someday I will grow up maybe some day I will learn to be more tolerate and love another person selflessly.
How can you prevent falling in love with another person simply because he/she has a kid?
Never say never. I have said "I will NEVER date a single father" and I ended up with two single fathers and I loved both of them and their kids.
My sister has made fun of me and my brother because she claimed that she would NEVER get emotionally involved with a person with kids. She ended up being a single mom herself. (I dated two single dads, my brother married one single mother, my other brother dated bunch of single moms. I guess we are all losers with no options in some people's eyes)
The bottom line is that nobody can predict the future. I would prefer NOT to date another single father because bonding with another woman's child seems impossible to me. But maybe someday I will grow up maybe some day I will learn to be more tolerate and love another person selflessly.
How can you prevent falling in love with another person simply because he/she has a kid?
Easy. I don't like being around kids. That's a good reason to repel me away from a woman.
Yeah, a lot of this kind of thing depends on age. And that's one thing we never break down in these threads. It basically kind of boils down to "what's the *norm* for your age group."
When you are in your 20s and early 30s, with so many people without kids, it's easy to make it an exclusion and it makes sense too since the world is your oyster with lots of other 20-somethings with no kids and nothing to tie them down. The norm at this age is to not have kids.
But when you get into your late 30s, 40s, and even early 50s... pickings are slim as most people are or have been married and a lot of those married people had kids. Like I said, if you are a man in that age group (late 30s into late 40s like the men I date), chances are you yourself are also divorced and maybe have kids too. Ruling out women with kids (or if you are a woman, a man with kids) greatly limits your dating pool. The norm at this age *is* to have kids.
I really think people are just accepting of whatever the norm is for their age. And that's understandable.
If you look at the total population having kids may be the norm. If you only use middle class and higher I don't think that is true.
After a certain age, dating a woman with kids becomes part of being a man. Finding a woman, past the age of 28 or so, without kids, feels impossible sometimes.
Some kids can be more of a deal breaker than others.
The sad thing is, that this kid is the one who gets to suffer.
Suffer... Uhm, no, she's not suffering. He is and so am I. He's sick of her behavior too and he told me so. He doesn't know what to do and I have bent over backwards to accommodate the situation, but I'm at my wit's end. This didn't start yesterday. I'm over it. I'm unhappy. He's unhappy and she's ... well... whatever. She's been badly raised and it will cost him too. I'm human and I won't pretend that I'm perfect but enough is enough. I love him, and he's been worth it, but I am getting to the point where I don't want to deal with a situation that makes me unhappy to this point. I don't think it will ever change and that's the mistake. Thinking it will change for the better. I'm at the point where I have to weigh my options and understand that he is probably better off without the misery of trying to balance the feelings of two people. And I'm better off with someone whose issues are easier to handle (because no one is perfect). I made a mistake and I'm paying the price. I'm out.
well it depends on how old you are because someone who is 45 or older is not likely to meet someone without kids whether they are a man or woman. Now if you are 45 or older and still want to date someone with no kids, that may change to someone with one kid who is 17 or older.
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