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Old 02-08-2012, 07:48 PM
 
2 posts, read 3,857 times
Reputation: 10

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Ok, well a few years ago now, i was with this girl. She was amazing! We had more chemistry then ive ever had with anyone! And she was anything and everything i could ever imagine in a Wife.
We'll we were together but not actaully with the title, we did everything a couple would do. EVERYTHING but we never asked each other out or made it official, but we told each other when we started talking that we didn't want anything serious.
Well after this went on for 6 or 7 months. Everthing was exactly the same but it was time to leave college and we had to go to different places.
So even though we were so far away from each other, we still talked/texted every day.
Then it started fading out on both ends. Then we stopped talking for a while besides little texts here and there.
Then we both got into our seperate relationships and went our seperate ways pretty much, without fightin or anything that would cause a bad note, on either side.
Well its been a couple of years and ive been a serious relationship with someone else.
But we have chatted a little even though its been so long. and there have been times a while back that she would ask me to come see her, and hold her and just stay with her for a night, but i couldn't because i am a loyal person to my current gf. We have talked in the past about how much we cared about one another and how great things could have been and how we have both thought about it over and over again. about how great of a mom should would make and how good of a dad i would be and so on.
but now i think she has finally moved on.
But i constantly find myself daydreaming about how our lifes could have been and how great she is! And i feel bad because im with someone now, but we do have fights and stuff and i always think about just breaking this off and trying to go after her and seeing if things could work out! But im afraid of doing that because i am some what happy with my relationship now and i don't want to make would could be a big mistake? Im sorry this is so long and probably hard to read, im just trying to fill in every detail.
ANY commments will be appreciated! thanks for listenin.
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Old 02-08-2012, 07:56 PM
 
Location: So Cal
244 posts, read 332,559 times
Reputation: 134
Katie Perry has that song.

Anyways, as time goes by, you will see that you didn't go after her for a reason, and you will be happy in your current situation.

People always dream about what could have or would have been of an old relationship. It's perfectly normal. Just be glad that you have fond memories to think of sometimes. A lot of people have more of the painful memories that can't be forgotten.

If things change and you two become together, then that's how it goes also. It's totally up to you and her and how you see things.

Sorry, it wasn't much of a help.
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Old 02-08-2012, 07:59 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,766,074 times
Reputation: 25362
I thought so about one or two, but I remind myself of the bad times. Then think good thing it never lasted.
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Old 02-08-2012, 08:08 PM
 
Location: Homeless
17,717 posts, read 13,482,037 times
Reputation: 11994
Do you ever wonder about "the one that got away?"

Not any more.
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Old 02-09-2012, 02:57 AM
 
2 posts, read 3,857 times
Reputation: 10
But see, thats the thing. There were no bad things, so there are no bad memories! Just great ones, that i miss alot for some reason. And now i feel so stupid for being so loyal to my current gf and not going to hold her when she asked me serveral times, but i know i did the right thing?
Here is kinda a better example of how i feel about it. . . . . I am so afraid of that my current gf will eventually get pregnant, and the idea of her being the mother of my child/chidren scares me. But when i think of the "one that got away" having my children it makes me so happy? And the same goes for marriage?
But im scared that if i did ever break away from my current gf, i would regret it and realize that i made a mistake? Or something? IDK? thanks for the responses! maybe yall can help me figure myself out? lol
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Old 02-09-2012, 04:08 AM
 
461 posts, read 781,505 times
Reputation: 1006
I feel so sorry for the one you're with now. She has the disadvantage of you knowing her unlike the other you weren't really with. So yeah, there's only good memories of what could have happened until of course it gets real and then the issues will pop up with the other one.

Break up with this current girl because she deserves better. She doesn't care about your loyalty which is really obligation and no one wants someone to be with them for that. Resolve this once and for all. And why be so scared of her getting pregnant you should be armed to the teeth always!


PS: This girl knew you were in a relationship and still wanted you to visit and 'hold her'? Ugh.
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Old 02-09-2012, 04:53 AM
 
37,494 posts, read 45,798,776 times
Reputation: 56996
Sounds to me like you're just another wishy washy guy that will always be wondering what he's missing. Break up with the current GF - you'll be doing her a favor.
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Old 02-09-2012, 05:01 AM
 
Location: Homeless
17,717 posts, read 13,482,037 times
Reputation: 11994
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
. Break up with the current GF - you'll be doing her a favor.

I agree with this part of what you said. If your still in love or can't stop thinking of that special someone then move on. He"s not being fair to himself or his GF
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Old 02-09-2012, 05:31 AM
 
3,639 posts, read 3,767,451 times
Reputation: 5554
I agree with the above posts regarding your current gf.

Definitely stop having sex with her, anyway. Some poor kid doesn't need to come into that situation.
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Old 02-09-2012, 06:26 AM
 
406 posts, read 769,857 times
Reputation: 519
If you are this obsessed with an old girlfriend, then what the heck are your doing with another woman? As others have pointed out, you are not being fair to this new woman at all. As someone else pointed out, you don't seem to be doing the 'right thing' because you want to. because you love your new girlfriend. You're doing it out of obligation.
Does your new girlfriend know all of this? Come clean with her. Tell her how you feel. Tell her you haven't gotten past your old flame, and maybe she'll make the decision for you.
If I knew my boyfriend/husband had these feelings for another woman, I would not want him to be with me.
Seriously, explain to your girlfriend how you do not want her to be the mother of your children, but you would love your ex to be.....

why are you even with this new girlfriend?? she definitely deserves better .... let her go.
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